Onward.........to history

AIG Quarterly Loss Is $61.7 Billion: Biggest Loss In US Corporate History

American International Group Inc., once the world's largest insurer, said Monday it lost $61.7 billion in the fourth quarter, the biggest quarterly loss in U.S. corporate history, amid continued financial market turmoil.

The results come as the U.S. government also Monday announced a restructuring of a bailout plan for the troubled insurer, extending $30 billion in additional aid to the company.
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"We have made meaningful progress in addressing liquidity issues related to AIG Financial Products and our securities lending activities and have announced several divestitures," AIG chairman and chief executive Edward Liddy said in a statement. "However, the economy and capital markets remain in turmoil and we are taking additional steps to preserve the value of our businesses and maximize the ultimate proceeds for the benefit of all stakeholders, including taxpayers.
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"In an interview on NBC's "Today" show Monday morning, Liddy, said: "We're going to be able to pay back the Federal Reserve. The new $30 billion is a stand-by line. It's not necessarily something that we think we'll have to draw on right away."

Yes, Mr. Liddy, I'm sure you'll have to wait a whole week before you dump that $30 billion into your self destructing money hole of a company. Preserving value it seems. This is where we all jump up in the air excitedly flashing thumbs up and expressions of joy as the camera freeze frames on all our happiness at all the value preserving. But at least we're getting something useful out of it: a company that sells financial products and is essentially a bookie taking bets on whether companies will make or lose money. Think of all the great and useful things we'd miss out on if they weren't constantly propped up by piles of government money.

Oh well, at least you get to witness all this horrid horrid history. I'm sure it'll be a useful tale which you can bore your grandchildren with. I've written a short play about it.

Naive Boy: "Grandfather, the bulletin board in the public square of our Hobo encampment says today that Consolidated Beans lost over 1200 chickens worth of value and needed 1 ton of tin scraps in bailout metals from the Hobo Council this quarter. Is this the largest quarterly loss ever?"

Bitter Old Man: "No child, it isn't. Back in 2009 a company called AIG lost $61.7 billion dollars in one quarter. I'm sure that would seem amazing to you if children of your generation, or your father's for that matter, even understood the concept of paper money, a non agrarian barter economy, stock markets, and really anything outside of basic subsistence living and our unending war against the robots."

NB: "Is that why we live in tin shacks and eat cardboard now, Grandpa?

BOM: "Among many other reasons, yes. Now duck, the cyborg collective is airstriking us."