Cheap Blogging Crutch 10.07

Nobel Winners Isolate Protein Behind Immortality, Cancer
Oh, is that all they did? Amateurs. Seems that there's this enzyme called telomerase which, when activated, allows cells to divide without any limits, making them effectively immortal. One problem, and I'd hesitate to even call it a problem: the cells will eventually become cancerous. So they aren't completely immortal. But this is leading to new discoveries about how to fight cancer by impeding the production of telomerase. I still believe putting a scientific team in a submarine, shrinking it down and injecting into the blood is the best way to fight cancer...and all disease. But does anyone want to try that or give me a Nobel for that?

Anthem BCBS Of Maine Proclaims Entitlement To Profits, Demands Government Guarantee 3 Percent Profit
Just when you thought there wasn't a way you could love insurance companies more you see one argue that not only are they entitled to a 12% premium increase rate for providing the same level of coverage, but see them claim in court that it was the government's legal duty to ensue they made at least a 3% profit. Right...I don't think we need any kind of public option to compete with these guys. They seem to have a handle on things and provide useful coverage at reasonable prices.

E. Coli Path Shows Flaws in Beef Inspection
Have you wanted to be utterly disgusted by the supposed cleanliness of and health risks within the meat industry but felt that Upton Sinclair's the Jungle just wasn't relevant to 21st century meat packing? Well the NYT has news for you: it is! But what does a little e.coli matter anyway? It's curable. The real problem is the mad cow disease we all almost assuredly have.

Right Stuff, Wrong Sex: NASA’s Lost Female Astronauts
Wired takes a look at NASA's early forays into using female astronauts. The idea was that since the ladies are lighter than the fellas, they'd be cheaper to rocket into orbit. Women are also less prone to heart attacks. The women they chose for preliminary tests not only had a higher clearance rate than the men, but also scored comparably to the men in testing. But the plan was eventually scrapped due to a preference for experimental test pilots. Also there would concerns towards space menstruation (seriously) and estrogen fouling up the instruments (not seriously).

Archaeologists unearth 17th century bottle used to scare off witches
I think that speaks for itself. No one from the team has stepped forward to mention if the bottle still works or if evolution has produced a stronger breed of witch that is impervious to magic jugs and containers. If you are looking for a place to store all your unused nail clippings, hair, bellybutton fluff, pins and iron nails and are also mortally terrified of witches, may we suggest putting them in a bottle and burying it near your house.