Cheap Blogging Crutch 10.01

E.P.A. Moves to Curtail Greenhouse Gas Emissions
Tired of waiting for Congress to get off its fat asses and make an attempt to bungle climate legislation while it's bungling health care legislation, President Obama decided that "Hey, maybe I should use the agencies and laws I already have to do it." Brilliant stroke of genius, Barry. And so he did, enabling the EPA to menace free enterprise and business with the application of its dirty laws and legally mandated oversight. Hopefully soon, Congress will come up with a terrible climate change bill so that we can circumvent all this nastiness and get back to what's important: letting industry pollute without any enforcement of actual laws.

Reality Check: Trying to Turn a Point of Pride into a Moment of Shame
Ahh, the White House has finally snapped and started using its web-based blog bully pulpit to go after professional liars like Glenn Beck. What was it that set the White House off? Death panels? FEMA re-education camps? Was Beck trying to blame his 1990 rape and murder of a young girl on the Administration? No....*sighs*, Beck complained about efforts to win the Olympics for the US. And he used lies so minor, they basically count as Beck attempting to tell the truth. Yeah, this was the one you really needed to combat, White House.

Credit Rating Agency Analysts Covering AIG, Lehman Brothers Never Disciplined
Oh my star and garters. You're telling me that the concept of accountability that doesn't exist in banks or financial markets, doesn't exist in the businesses that rate them? But really, one does have to be shocked that the Government is mad at the A and AA ratings that Moody's Standard and Poor's, and Fitch's handed out. I mean an A or AA rating, in the fantasy financial world where everything is rated AAA, is the equivalent of a D- or F+ in the real world. Why should anyone be fired over not seeing the imminent collapse of some of the the largest financial institutions in the world? That's why pencils have trillion dollar erasers.

Tamiflu in Rivers Could Breed Drug-Resistant Flu Strains
OK, want to make sure that flu carrying animals aren't exposed to anti-virals flu medications and drug resistant flu strains aren't created? One simple step: if you take Tamiflu, afterward...never urinate. And especially don't urinate into a river. Tamiflu is expelled by urine, it gets into the water through sewage treatment plants, then into the rivers, then exposed to birds, then Captain Trips is created, then we're all caught up in an apocalyptic morality play as Boulder, Colorado and Las Vegas engage in the final battle of good and evil after a superflu wipes out 99.9% of the world's population. Is this what you want? No? Good, don't pee.

Iran Meets U.S. and Allies for Nuclear Talks in Geneva
And so begins the long process in which the world tells Iran that it shouldn't try to make nukes "Because" and Iran looks at open threats of destruction coming at it from large and influential sectors of the US political establishment, threats of preemptive strikes from Israel, continued Middle Eastern conflict, the fact that it just suppressed it's own population and rigged an election, and the fact that back water shit states with deep terrorist ties, like Pakistan for instance, are immediately treated with respect, dignity, and showered with billions just because they developed a nuke, and says "Wait, why should I listen to you guys?" It'll be great.