Thanks for all the help, Ben

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is up for confirmation again as our nation's chief money overlord and coin czar. So, in the face of high unemployment, a Fed that is viewed as completely uncaring as to the suffering of actual people/subservient to Wall Street/an unthinking cash spigot to the financial sectors that shitted our economy/completely abdicated it's oversight capabilities, and the fact that Jim DeMint, Jim Bunning, and Bernie Sanders have all placed holds on his confirmation, Benny is probably going to try real hard to show that he cares and fight for his job, right? Not exactly.

In testimony before the Senate Banking Committee today, where he's seeking re-appointment as the Fed's chairman, Bernanke called for cutbacks in Medicare and Social Security even as unemployment rises and the middle class is endangered.

And there was this, on efforts to create a stimulus that targeted jobs and employment.

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke on Thursday threw cold water on efforts to push a major new fiscal stimulus package.

Well, it's not like it's in the Fed's mission statement to "promote effectively the goals of maximum employment" or anything.

So let's see, in his bid to get reconfirmed he not only advocated for cutting Social Security and Medicare, but decried a second stimulus to address the whole employment problem our jobless recovery is having, all while the Fed isn't really living up to it's mandate to deal with unemployment, is freaking out over a non-existent inflation threat, is a non-existent regulatory authority, and is a money funnel to our financial betters. Is there anything else he's like to do? Perhaps sodomize all of our mothers while pouring sugar in our gas tanks? Maybe I'm naive, I just thought he'd maybe try to do something other than yell "Fuck you peasant, don't look me in the eye" before advocating the Fed's "go pound sand" posture towards America's jobless masses.

Thanks for all the help, Ben. I'd be nice if we had a Fed Chairman that had a better plan for unemployment than "do nothing", but I guess I was just hoping against hope. Luckily, this will probably cost him a less than unanimous confirmation. He'll probably only get 90 votes now.

Broken In Brief: Cheney blasts Obama over swine flu, three injured

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION--Continuing his assault against the new administration, former Vice President Dick Cheney accused President Obama of stoking fears about a mythical Swine Flu in order to distract people's attention from his creeping socialist agenda.

Appearing on Meet The Press yesterday, Cheney characterized Obama's handling of the burgeoning Swine Flu outbreak as "A transparently cynical attempt to manipulate the American people through baseless threats of apocalyptic scenarios."

As the Obama administration approaches its 100th day in office, many political figures are weighing in on its progress to date. Mr. Cheney has been at the forefront of the conservative condemnation of Obama's stance on everything from national security to the economy to judicial appointments. Near the end of Sunday's interview, Cheney appeared to begin frothing at the mouth. He then also accused the Obama administration of rigging an energy bill to benefit campaign donors, exploiting homosexuality as a wedge issue during elections, commanding Sen. Patrick Leahy to perform an anatomically impossible sexual maneuver, and shooting a 78 year-old man in the face.

As the resulting shockwave of pure hypocrisy knocked MTP host David Gregory from his chair, shattered nearby glass, caused massive internal bleeding and organ damage to three interns, and buckled the structural foundation of the studio, Cheney surveyed the damage, smiled, kissed his biceps, and was heard to approvingly mutter to himself that he's "still got 'it'."