Monday, April 27, 2009

Picture of the day: science gone mad



The world's first transgenic glow in the dark dog, Ruppy. Compounding this affront to science: Ruppy is a beagle, God's cruel joke on the dog loving people of the world.

Sorry Glowstik Inc., looks like you just got put out of business. These dogs don't even need to be broken in two or shaken.

Pobody's nerfect

Remember the thoroughly adult stimulus bill debate our elected betters in Congress had? You know the one. Where a bunch of hacks decided that cutting out stimulative sections of the bill because the "numbers sounded high" and knocking good ideas out of the bill in some vain quest to achieve a total dollar sum they picked at random in an attempt to appear bipartisan and look like they were doing something. Remember? Boy I sure hope none of the stuff they knocked out has grossly dangerous implications for battling global flu pandemics.
Indeed, like Rove, Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) was apparently unwilling to be seen as endorsing such "funny" sounding priorities as flu "preparedness" in an economic recovery package. Perhaps in an attempt to prove her fiscal conservative bona fides, Collins repeatedly insisted that Obey's pandemic preparedness funding did not belong in the bill:
COLLINS: There's funding to help improve our preparedness for a pandemic flu. There is funding to help improve cyber security. What does that have to do with an economic stimulus package? [CNN, 1/31/09]

COLLINS: I think everybody in the room is concerned about a pandemic flu. But does it belong in this bill? Should we have $870 million in this bill? No. We should not. [MSNBC, 2/5/09]
After the funding was stripped, another moderate Republican attempting to appear tough on "unnecessary" spending in the recovery package, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA), endorsed Collins' crusade against the pandemic preparedness funding
Whoops! It turns out that chortling at stuff that sounds funny, using it as a basis for governing, listening to Karl Rove, and randomly hacking things out of the stimulus package all didn't seem like such smart things to do in hindsight. And the logic seemed so airtight too. Apparently Collins' "it sounds funny, cut it" is a better argument than David Obey's (who put the provision in) "a pandemic hitting in the midst of an economic downturn could turn a recession into something far worse" argument. And why not, they're both rational arguments made by serious people. Well, one is.

So in case you were wondering why, despite years of warning that we're all going to be killed by some superflu pandemic, we haven't spent money on pandemic flu preparations....well, we were, but the name sounded funny. Perhaps if it was called the "Extra Freedomy Way to Protect America First From Mucousy Flu Death Plan For America. Freedom!" plan it might have had a chance. But don't worry, now that the problem is already here, I'm sure they'll get right on it. Because prevention is always a shortsighted waste of money, but shutting the barn door after the animals get out is serious and responsible leadership.

R.I.P. Newspapers

Wall Street Journal Only Top 25 Newspaper To Report Circulation Increase
Circulation at the nation's newspapers continues to fall.

The Audit Bureau of Circulations said Monday that average daily circulation declined 7.1 percent in the October-March period from the same six-month span in 2007-2008.

That was faster than the 4.6 percent fall recorded in the April-September period of 2008.

Sunday circulation fell 5.4 percent in the latest period.
...
Newspaper sales have been declining since the early 1990s, but the drop has accelerated in recent years. Circulation revenue has largely held up, though, because of price increases.
Good news. As long as you're a national paper that largely covers one sector of the country (say business/economy) and that sector goes into complete meltdown, then there will be increased interest in your reporting and your circulation numbers will go up.........0.61%. It also helps if you start to move from "right wing" into "crazy right wing" territory. Otherwise your paper drops like a stone as people decide they like reading your newspapers online for free. Maybe another round of price increases, firings of senior reporters, and sending a severed donkey head with a note that say "Thanks" to the guy who created Craigslist will make things all better. Better get that Plan B thing figured out pretty soon, I think things are starting to look dire.

In the small miracles department, the NY Post dropped 20%, the biggest drop in the top 25 papers. Proving that even in a freefalling industry, God does sometimes mete out extra punishment to those who deserve it.

Sorry newspapers, it was nice knowing you. Hopefully you get a business model worked out so we don't have to rely on *shudder* cable TV news *shudder* to break important stories or do investigative journalism. Forget your pig viruses and financial apocalypses, that's the end as we know it.

Historical reenactment

Seems those wacky kids at Kent State just never learn. Always stirring things up, making the authorities want to come in and shoot all the students. This time it was over the time honored principle of burning shit in a huge bonfire because the semester is over. Those kids with their ideals. It's so cute.
An end-of-year college block party spiraled out of control as police fired pellets and used pepper spray to break up hundreds of rioting students who sparked a string of street fires at Kent State University.

Video posted on the Internet shows students hurling furniture and street signs into the flames on Saturday night as a SWAT team in riot gear converged on the crowd. Kent police said the party grew violent after one reveler was arrested and students began pelting officers with bottles, bricks and rocks.

It was the first violent clash between Kent State students and police in years. In 1970, four Kent State students were killed by Ohio National Guard troops during a campus protest of the invasion of Cambodia.
Wait, I get it: those history buffs at Kent State decided to get a week head start on their planned reenactment of the 1970 shooting. Taking the place of student activists with a cause were student alcoholics with a desire to burn stuff. The burning furniture and street party stood in as metaphors or the burning rage protesters felt over Viet Nam/Cambodia and the two American political parties the protesters felt had betrayed them. The police stood in for the National Guard. In the vein of "improving on the original": rubber bullets stood in for real ones. Those parties involved say it was a tremendous change that allowed them to attain some of the accuracy without so much of that bloodshed and body count.

I must commend the authorities. They did seem to mishandle things this time, but it was a tremendous improvement over the last organized event at Kent that got "mishandled". As for the students: learn from your predecessors. No one parties in the open at Kent in late April/early May unless they want shot at by the cops or army. That's twice now, don't let the third time be the charm. You know, where the po-po finish you all off for good with dull machetes or something.

Good morning, we're all going to die

Here we were thinking this financial/economic crisis was going to bring the world to it's swift end. Nope. Should have seen the classic the Stand superflu angle coming down the pike. Who's to blame? Mexico, Mexican pigs, and Mexicans who kiss sick pigs on the mouth. Swine flu. It sounds funny and it'll kill us all.
Governments are racing to find and contain pockets of swine flu around the globe, seeking to stem both the threat of a pandemic and public panic.

"We're preparing in an environment where we really don't know ultimately what the size or seriousness of this outbreak is going to be," U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said Sunday.

In Mexico, the outbreak's epicenter, soldiers handed out 6 million face masks to help stop the spread of the novel virus that is suspected in up to 103 deaths.
...
There is not a global pandemic yet, but waiting until scientists know if the new virus is going to spread rapidly and easily would be too late.
It's not a pandemic....yet. Everyone says not to panic.....yet. But the signs are there. We've declared a public health emergency, the WHO is talking about "pandemic potential", and Europeans are being urged to avoid North America lest they get caught up in an EU backed mission to wall up the continent and burn everything inside. It's already spread to NYC, Texas, Canada, and California, and by the end of summer the remnants of society will be collecting in Boulder or Las Vegas to wage apocalyptic battle against one another.

If there's one silver lining it's that the flupocalypse has distracted is from financial Ragnarok. In fact, we can even blame plunging markets on flu fears. This should even provide a boost to our flagging newspaper and fear mongering industries. I can already smell the thousands of "How to Save Your Loved Ones From the Pig Virus", the "PANIC!!!!!", and "Don't Panic!!!!!!" articles churning up. The other silver lining? I made money on a bet that our flu based end would be mammal related, not avian. So, you know, I'll be pretty well of as I try to rebuild society early next year. Which is nice.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

1975





Crosby what? See you next year for your next end of season reminder just who rules the roost in PA. Hint: it's the one with the captain who can't grow a mustache. 1975!

Stat fact: Pens are 1-0 when Bea Arthur dies. If it's a long playoffs we might need to sacrifice Betty White and Rue McClanahan.....for victory. Malkin, Fleury, Crosby, and the deaths of all the remaining Golden Girls will fuel our cup run.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Headline of the day

'Cops Tase Stubborn Naked Wizard at Coachella'
Among the many performances at the Coachella music festival, there was one act more disturbing and brutal than the rest. As hundreds of music fans looked on, three police officers beat down and repeatedly tasered a Naked Wizard who apparently wasn’t eager to throw a robe over his magic wand.
Click the link, there's video.

Weekend Art

Do you hate those cutesy little ceramic sculptures of kids doing wholesome shit as much as I do? Good. That makes you, me, and Barnaby Barford. One of us is a really talented and funny artist.

Enjoy the rest HERE. And then go the fuck outside. It's gorgeous.

Torture has enabled time travel



Here I thought time travel would involve wormholes, advanced physics, Superman reversing the rotation of the Earth, a wish granting genie, smoke monsters/electromagnetism/mysterious islands, a DeLorean, or ring lasers. Turns out all you need is to dunk an Arab guy in water a hundred times and not only do you get information to stop a terrorist attack, but then you magically travel back in time a year so that you'll be able to use it to thwart an attack you already thwarted.

I was wrong about this torture thing, Karl. You are a have given humanity a great tool. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go kill the infant Hitler. Someone fill up my bathtub and find me a citizen of Saudi Arabia.

Like father, like daughter

In the torture debate we've heard from many sources debating the merits and legality of torture. Except one: Dick Cheney's kids. Liz Cheney has a notion and she wants you to hear it. Her contention? Of course: it's not torture even if it was done, which it wasn't. She's gotta make a full throated defense, because she really doesn't want to make that weekly trek over to the federal pen to see her dad and put $50 bucks in his prison account.
O'DONNELL: Well Liz, we'll get to that argument in a minute, about whether the means justify the ends, whether torture justifies itself...

CHENEY: Well, it wasn't torture, so that's not the right way to lay out the argument.

O'DONNELL: Ok.

CHENEY: Everything that was done in this program, as has been laid out and described before, are tactics that our own people go through in SERE training.

Later in the interview, Cheney insisted that "We did not torture our own people. These techniques are not torture."
As we see the Cheney genes fully kick in, we get to see her move from basic lying to baldfaced lying, replete with invented "facts" to bolster her lies. SERE training (which stands for Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Evasion. Apparently they couldn't come up with a different second E.) is quite different than the torture that her old man got pushed through. It's so different that even the Bush Justice Department was kind enough to point that out....in their own torture memos. The CIA was kind enough to make the distinction as well.

But that misses the central point: soldiers go through SERE trailing to help them experience torture and learn to resist any possible torture by the enemy. But once your so deep into lying, that kind of stuff doesn't penetrate the mental undisclosed location you've sent your sense of morality or honesty to. I hope one day when I have children, or possibly midget hostages, that we'll have shared interests. Hopefully those intersts will be sports or a fondness for reading and not a shared affinity for enacting, covering up, and excusing torture. But then again, different strokes for different folks.

The Bronx won't have the Arabian oryx to kick around any more

How bad is the economy? Even animals are getting fired. That's right, you're going to have to elbow a goddamn ibex out of the way so you can pick up your unemployment check. Deer on the dole. You know deer aren't getting any jobs. Who wants to see a deer when you can see a lion sleeping?
Layoffs in the city have spread from the piggy traders on Wall Street to the animals at the Bronx Zoo.

The institution is closing four exhibits and shipping hundreds of creatures to zoos and aquariums around the country, officials told the City Council Cultural Affairs Committee yesterday. Deer, bats, porcupines, foxes, lemurs, caimans and antelopes will be pink-slipped as part of the 114-year-old zoo's effort to cope with a $15 million budget shortfall.
...
The Bronx Zoo -- the country's largest urban zoo, which 2.1 million people visited last year alone -- is shutting its World of Darkness, Rare Animal Range and exhibits of the Arabian oryx and blesbok, two types of antelope.
...
The shuttered displays were chosen based on maintenance costs and popularity among visitors, zoo officials said.
One question: How high can the maintenance costs be on a blesbok? Actually, second question: What the fuck is a blesbok?

That's gotta hurt, not only do they fire you and ship you off to somewhere like the Cleveland Zoo, they rub it in by telling you that it was also because you're massively unpopular. Somehow I don't think many tigers are getting the brush off that the antelope and all it's boring, bizarrely named antelope brethren are getting. Only $1.7 million of this is the fault of Mayor Bloomberg, which isn't really his fault. He was told if they cut funding for the zoo, then it would cause them to get rid of all the "lemurs and night monkeys", which he took as racist code. As of press time there is no clue as to what color he thought lemurs were a racist analogue for.

Fare thee well blesbok, dik-dik, caicano, guanaco, cok-cok, Arabian oryx, penis-penis, and caiman. You will be missed. Good luck finding a job in this economy.

Broken In Brief: Fox commissions, cancels idea Joss Whedon just had

HOLLYWOOD—In an unprecedented move, Fox Broadcasting has decided to take the extraordinary step of almost simultaneously commissioning and canceling a new series conceptualized in the bathtub earlier this morning by Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon. This announcement comes as his current show, the low-rated Dollhouse, has found itself in danger of not being renewed for a second season.

“We just like being in the Whedon business,” said Fox Director of Programming Tom Niven. “We really enjoyed putting Joss’ last two shows, Firefly and the about-to-be-canceled Dollhouse, in rough timeslots, showing episodes out of order, forcing last-minute rewrites and reshoots, and generally jerking him around by the balls so the projects never find their audience. But like everyone else, we've been forced to make cutbacks lately, so we decided to eliminate everything that traditionally comes between optioning a Joss Whedon project and mercilessly running it into the ground for no apparent reason."

According to Whedon, the show, conceived while he decided to add more hot water to his morning bath, was to be called Robo-something or “something with the word Mech or Mecha in the title." The series, which was to chronicle a robot or possibly a group of robots on the run from… something, or possibly time traveling, was to star Felicia Day and David Boreanaz. During the application of shampoo to his hair, Mr. Whedon definitely thought it would be cool if it were possible to have Han Solo or a 25 year-old Paul Newman to function as the villainous group of… whatever… chasing the robots, perhaps even starring as the corrupt Time Police. Or something.

Cries of anger immediately went up among Whedon’s large and loyal fanbase. Message boards caved under the traffic as the portly and pale-skinned horde lamented the untimely demise of what they were certain was going to be another genre classic. They hope that by showing their support for the project and by buying the upcoming book release of the conceptual ideas behind the show, including an authentic reproduction of a drawing on a napkin of a stick figure human with a stick figure robot in a headlock with the cryptic question “Laser eyes?” above it, will prove to Fox that there is enough loyalty surrounding the project to forestall cancellation.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Summers Slumbers, or, Lie to me, Larry! Lie to me!

We've all been there: Big meeting in the middle of the day right after a late night vandalizing John Boener's office, urinating in the capital rotunda, prank-calling the Secret Service, or whatever it is high-level government officials do to get their shriveling white rocks off. These things happen. As a matter of fact, I'm fairly certain these are the precise conditions under which Joe Biden helped write the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act. Aside from Biden being a seven-time Senator from the great tax haven state of Delaware.

That said, White House economic adviser Larry Summers has to step it up. Today was Barry's big meeting with the executives of all those credit card companies who seem genuinely worried that when our elected betters champion a new era of corporate responsibility, that era might actually come to pass. This is child's play, Larry, and not the last you'll see of it. You react to public outrage at the rich & powerful by sitting down with the rich & powerful. Wag the finger, wink the eye, and it's time for lunch. Note: It never hurts to have a bunch of cameras present.

But this was a problem for Larry, who couldn't seem to stay awake through the meeting. Why was this a problem? There were a bunch of fucking cameras present.

The real tragedy here is that this was all so easily preventable. Take heed, Lawrence. The next time you're headed into a meeting room crammed with media, take thirty seconds and swing by Rahm Emanuel's office. Find something that looks like THIS. It's full of pure cocaine. You'll get a lot of work done that day, I promise. And more over, you won't make an utter ass of yourself in front of a badly broken country during a meeting whose express written purpose is to help un-break said country.

...awful jackass.

Oh please let this happen

Sweet Baby Jesus, lying there in your manger, surrounded by cute stable animals and hay, could you get off your goldbricking God-infant ass and make this happen already?
GRODIN: We can waterboard you?

HANNITY: Sure.

GRODIN: Are you busy on Sunday?

HANNITY: I'll do it for charity. ... I'll let you do it. I'll do it for the troops' families.
Waterboarding Hannity....for charity. For the troops. Do it on pay-per-view and the DailyKos commenters alone will fund two new Walter Reed hospitals.

This raises two important questions: 1. Does Hannity, self-important windbag that he is, actually have the guts to do what his huffed up, lizard brain, knee jerk reaction to having his masculinity challenged made him say? 2. Will Hannity actually come to the conclusion that just about every journalist who gets waterboarded comes to the second the water hits their face: that it's torture? Or are we going to see him pretend to shrug it off like it's Spring Break fraternity hazing?

Start up the donation site, I pledge $50 bucks and my solemn vow to not stop laughing for the entire duration of this pasty blowhard getting the full brunt of the torture he's been excusing for the past few years.

Broken News: Paranoid anti-totalitarian employs online social networking

SEATTLE—Today the greater Seattle area was shocked to learn that area man Nick Scofield, who came to local prominence after his arrest for a nude protest of what he termed “the pervasive surveillance police state” and illegal wiretapping during the 5th inning of a Mariners/Indians baseball game last year, was keeping anyone with computer access updated of his whereabouts through the popular web application Twitter.

"Going down to shop at Standish’s Market before lunch with members of EarthFirst at Mary’s All Organic Café" was the timestamped message that greeted followers of his feed mid-morning. This was the sixth in what would eventually be 17 updates of Scofield's itinerary, location, activities, and lists of people he was meeting with, as well as references to discussions in which he'd engaged.

“I just think that this is an important tool that can be used to keep friends and family updated as to one’s daily goings-on in a way that e-mails and blogging simply can’t do,” Mr. Schofield said as he left his home to a protest against the immunity given to telecoms for conducting illegal surveillance on the American people. “I think these tools are becoming increasingly important to help people organize and speak out against the overbearing surveillance state foisted upon them by an unsympathetic government. What better way to keep your fellow freedom fighters informed than through hourly updates describing your every righteous move and detailing your next step towards liberation?"

Dr. Aaron Harrington, lead ACLU counsel on electronic privacy matters, was unavailable for comment. According to his Facebook status, Dr. Harrington had left his Washington DC offices early for a weekend family retreat to Vermont, where his wife and two high school-aged children would be staying at the Humble Inn Bed & Breakfast, thirteen miles northeast of Burlington, in rooms 7 and 8.

Fears over government surveillance and wiretapping have increased over the past few weeks as news stories have revealed governmental abuses of wiretapping within the NSA, the inadequacy of laws to prevent such measures, and even a sitting US Congresswoman being wiretapped.

“I just can’t believe the abuses,” remarked US Congresswoman Jane Harman (D-CA), who was caught up in a shady NSA probe. “I just think that if it can happen to me, it can happen to any American citizen. Actually, I don’t think that, I know that. Mostly because I helped authorize and support these spying measures and only got outraged when I found out they betrayed me and used the law I helped use to gut legal oversights to wiretap me. They only stopped spying on me because they thought it would harm any chance of my supporting new and even more invasive wiretap legislation. I fear that other Americans need to take heed, because they won’t be given this colossally hypocritical opportunity. Strike that: I know they won’t.”

Such concerns have only driven Mr. Scofield to expand the scope of his efforts. Since his arrest, Scofield has started a wordpress blog, youcantseeme, and a LiveJournal account to keep a diary of his daily life. Scofield has also joined Facebook, where he lists all his friends and acquaintances, expanded his Flickr site to include more photo documentation of his daily life, added a Google maps application to his Blackberry so friends can see where he is on a city map at any given second of the day, and has moved his Twittering beyond simple flashes of what he is doing to his exact “of the moment” thoughts.

“If the Feds want to come and take me in for opposing their Big Brother moves, then I want the world to know where I was and what I was thinking, with clear notation of most of my activities, thoughts, meeting places and known accomplices for the preceding months. So people know exactly who I am and what I stood for,” Scofield said in the midst of Twittering ‘interviewing with reporter about the oppressive nature of constant monitoring’ from his Blackberry.

When asked to reconcile his opposition to government wiretapping with the sheer volume of information he provides to anyone willing to look, whether a phonetap could ever glean as much information as any of the methods he was freely providing, and to address the whole semi-hypocritical premise of this satirical article, Mr. Scofield paused. As his eyes widened and his mouth stood agape, the full brunt of the irony hitting him, he could only remark “Oh, yeah... This whole web 2.0 thing doesn’t seem as smart or helpful in retrospect, does it?”

Hey, remember that war we had going on?

Everything is OK now. In Iraq, where there's allegedly still a full scale war going on, we were able to strike a blow to al-Qaeda in Iraq by capturing their top man during a wave of bombings that killed 70+.
Iraqi forces said today that they had arrested one of the most wanted al-Qaeda leaders in Iraq, even as his suicide bombers killed more than 70 people in attacks in and around Baghdad.

Abu Omar al-Baghdadi, a leader of the so-called Islamic State of Iraq, was held in the capital after a tip-off, said Major General Qasim Atta, Baghdad’s security spokesman.

The Islamic State of Iraq is a shadowy, al-Qaeda-linked, Islamist umbrella group that in 2006 declared an independent caliphate in mainly Sunni West Baghdad, as well as in areas to the north and west. Modeled on the Taliban in Afghanistan, it murdered and intimidated anyone who did not adhere to its strict Islamist rulings.
See, not another meaningless #2, a real #1 this time. Obama is producing results. Though as a precaution it should be noted that they have announced his capture or killing numerous times in the past and some agencies even doubt his existence. Surely the alleged capture of one of the leaders of a small faction of terrorists that groups in unconnected cells and were only a small part of the insurgency, will make things all right. I mean make things even closer to the paradise that Iraq already is after the surge fixed everything.

I'm kind of surprised this news even made it into the media mainstream. I guess everyone didn't get the memo that America had forgotten about Iraq and that it wasn't important anyway because we're pulling out soon to throw some money at Afghanistan. Did they not see the big ceremonial "washing of hands" we had had for this whole Iraq war experience? They still want to contest this? We still have to pay attention? Bah.

Shep's brain finally breaks

It must be rough being Shepard Smith. He seems to be the only guy on Fox News who honestly believes that the Fair and Balanced thing isn't just a large punchline to a 24-7 joke. He actually tries to be rational and balanced. But then after working day after day after fruitless and sould crushing day, the Fox News experience starts to get to him, slowly building up the rage and bile. Then Fox does something like try to defend torture 24-7 and Shep's brain melts down and he explodes during a segment where a purported judge is trying to justify torture.



Good Shep, you're a little late to the party, but thanks for coming. Well I guess that was one minute of the day where Fox wasn't completely whitewashing torture. Now excuse me, I have to go watch Bill O'Reilly try to browbeat a former Special Forces captain who doesn't think torture is the awesomest thing ever.

Quote of the day

MSNBC host Norah O'Donnell interrupting MSNBC analyst Phil Musser while he was relating an anecdote on visiting Guantanamo.
MUSSER: The bottom line is he's a guy that I watched up close in action and I have great respect for his judgment and wisdom in this regard. And having seen the face of terror, you know I've walked through Camp X-Ray in Guantanamo Bay when I was serving in the government, and it changes your nature of the threat to look at the people an the other sides of those fences. And the bottom line is

--NORAH O'DONNELL: So just by looking at them, Phil, you can tell they were guilty?

MUSSER: You know, I could tell, I could tell that basically that they --

NORAH O'DONNELL: And that they deserved waterboarding?

MUSSER: Norah, I'm not making any particular allegations against individual people, but what I'm saying is that the nature of this threat is very, very different and the record of the Bush/Cheney administration post-9/11 is to keep people safe. And I think most Republicans - you ask people in Newton, Iowa, they're probably happy our country is doing everything possible to keep our country safe.
And there we see the sort of intelligence level of the torture debate. On one side people arguing law, morality, and humanity.......on the other side people arguing wishes, fear, feelings, and looking at people and knowing they're guilty.

Though in fairness to Musser he did mention he was no expert and that his eyeballing was in no way scientific, he'd have to measure head bumps to see if they had the craniums of terrorists/cattle rustlers/stagecoach tippers, but he did feel all those men were reaaaaaaaaaly guilty. Rest easy Newton, Iowa, the terrorists haven't attacked you because of our constant torture schedule. And because you're fucking Newton, Iowa.

While they're down

Sure, football season is still five months away and making fun of Cleveland is akin to trading punches with a quadruple amputee. But damn if this isn't funny. Be sure to look for Sushi Rock, accurately described as the perfect place if you're a douchebag.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Quote of the day

Jane Harman (D-CA) on voting to authorize and cover up illegal warrantless wiretapping and the sense of betrayal she feels because they decided to use it to illegally wiretap against her.
HARMAN: I'm just very disappointed that my country -- I'm an American citizen just like you are -- could have permitted what I think is a gross abuse of power in recent years. I'm one member of Congress who may be caught up in it, but I have a bully pulpit and I can fight back. I'm thinking about others who have no bully pulpit and may not be aware, as I was not, that right now somewhere, someone's listening in on their conversations, and they're innocent Americans.
And off in the distance we hear the violent explosion of the world's first machine that measures irony. This woman didn't give two shits when she thought the government was just going to illegally spy on the peasant class, but when she finds out they used it to investigate her shady dealings on behalf of AIPAC: OUTRAGE!!!!!!!! at the betrayal of American values and gross abuse of power that she was totally aware of and supported wholeheartedly.

Don't like them wiretapping you? Well, I guess you shouldn't have voted to allow them to. Now you'll have to excuse me Jane, my sides are starting to hurt from laughing too hard.

Torture History 101

You have to applaud the Bush Administration. They don't care about which torture techniques was prosecuted as a war crime by the US during WWII, what torture techniques were used against American pilots by the North Koreans during the Korean War, what techniques Pol Pot used while murdering and torturing his people in Cambodia, or what techniques got their start during the Spanish Inquisition, they just focused on what worked. Or in this case, what was proven to not work and in fact elicit false confessions. And by 'don't care' I mean 'was too ignorant to learn'.
The program began with Central Intelligence Agency leaders in the grip of an alluring idea: They could get tough in terrorist interrogations without risking legal trouble by adopting a set of methods used on Americans during military training. How could that be torture?
...
This extraordinary consensus was possible, an examination by The New York Times shows, largely because no one involved — not the top two C.I.A. officials who were pushing the program, not the senior aides to President George W. Bush, not the leaders of the Senate and House Intelligence Committees — investigated the gruesome origins of the techniques they wereapproving with little debate.
...
The process was “a perfect storm of ignorance and enthusiasm,” a former C.I.A. official said.
Ouch. So in addition to failing Basic Humanity 101, Modern Intelligence Gathering 201, and Advanced Legal Bullshittery, they didn't even pass Torture History 101. At least the high marks in Advance Bald Faced Lying and the Lack of Human Decency lab will bring up that GPA.

So let's see here: The Bush Administration picked a bunch of torture techniques that it liked the sound of, didn't even bother to do a rudimentary check on the history of usage and war crimes prosecution for these techniques, openly admitted the legal justification for these techniques almost assuredly wouldn't hold up in court, and used the torture techniques against detainees in pursuit of uncovering conspiracies they wished were happening. They aren't being prosecuted.....why?

Torture in pursuit of a fantasy

As disturbing as the revelations of torture were, on at least some level if you stood back, squinted, ignored the consequences, ignored the law, ignored the damage to our country at home and abroad, and just didn't concentrate too much on the guilt or innocence or level of knowledge that the detainees you tortured had, you could at least say "Well, they at least were trying to protect the country after 9/11 from threats they saw as imminent." Yeah......not so much.
The Bush administration applied relentless pressure on interrogators to use harsh methods on detainees in part to find evidence of cooperation between al Qaida and the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's regime, according to a former senior U.S. intelligence official and a former Army psychiatrist.

Such information would've provided a foundation for one of former President George W. Bush's main arguments for invading Iraq in 2003. In fact, no evidence has ever been found of operational ties between Osama bin Laden's terrorist network and Saddam's regime.

The use of abusive interrogation — widely considered torture — as part of Bush's quest for a rationale to invade Iraq came to light as the Senate issued a major report tracing the origin of the abuses and President Barack Obama opened the door to prosecuting former U.S. officials for approving them.
...
"The main one is that everyone was worried about some kind of follow-up attack (after 9/11). But for most of 2002 and into 2003, Cheney and Rumsfeld, especially, were also demanding proof of the links between al Qaida and Iraq that (former Iraqi exile leader Ahmed) Chalabi and others had told them were there."
Ahh, Ahmed Chalabi, how could you have steered us wrong? If you can't trust a man who made his living off of getting government money for telling the US what it wanted to hear about Iraq and funneling funds through his phony "Iraqi National Congress" after he made his living defrauding and failing a bank, who can you trust?

Kind of makes you all warm and fuzzy inside to learn that stress positions, bug caskets, extreme temperature variations, sleep deprivation, walling, and waterboarding were all done in our name on the premise that the Bush Administration really wanted someone, anyone, to tell them what they wished was true. What's it say that multiple rounds of torture on multiple detainees still couldn't get one of them to even make up a story? I guess this stuff is what Cheney is referring too when he says the Bush Administration doesn't "got much to apologize for."

Never feel like eating again?





From Director Robert Kenner, comes Food, Inc., a film that takes a look at how our food is produced, distributed, and the economic, ecological, and health costs. The documentary is based around Eric Schlosser's book Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal and The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan, and also features the two prominently.

Pictures of the day

The Big Picture blog brings us scenes from Mexico's ongoing drug war with the cartels.







Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A Gaythering Storm

Below is the hilarious response to the National Organization for Marriage's "A Gathering Storm" ad. Be sure to visit giantgayrepellentumbrella.com after your viewing to learn more about how this big gay storm threatens you, your children, your life savings, the environment, ten years of hard-fought progress in the field of particle physics, the Steelers' chance for a repeat Super Bowl win, and the American way of life as we know it.