Old men with beards would like to scare you about the economy

Emperor of the Economy and Grand Vichy of Loose Change, Ben Bernanke, gathered the Justice League of Economics Professors and Financial Sector Giants known as the Fed together to issue a proclamation: we're all going to die from lack of money. Extreme exposure to lack of cash elements so harsh that our bodies and minds won't be able to handle it. Oh sure, you may have your foolish optimism or some notion that "this can't happen in America", but they have charts, scholarly analysis, and beards. Oh do they have beards.

Break it to us softly, wizened elders.

Members of the Federal Reserve lowered their expectations for economic growth and raised their projections of the nation's unemployment rate, cautioning for the first time in recent memory that the low employment rate "over the next several years... would likely be below levels they consider to be consistent" with their mandate to maximize employment, according to meeting minutes released Wednesday.
...
A review of minutes of the Federal Open Market Committee meetings dating back to September 2008 -- the height of the financial crisis -- reveal no other meetings in which central bank policymakers expressed such a dim view of the unemployment rate. While the minutes have expressed such caution regarding the expected inflation rate, they have not indicated that the low level of employment would be so low as to threaten their legal mandate to pursue those policies that maximize employment.

Hmm, not to nitpick while you're dropping sadness bombs, but that "mandate to maximize employment"? Yeah, that doesn't seem like something you've been too serious about over these past few years. Or ever. Yeah. You seemed to be more interested in chasing the invisible inflation dragon. See, inflation rate-> remains tame, employment rate-> DEAR GOD I CAN'T LOOK IT BURNS MY EYES!

It's nice that you pretend care about the poors and their field tilling jobs now, but it would have been appreciated during the Wall Street money orgy you were presiding over when other smart people who weren't in you special club with the offices that smell of rich mahogany were yelling bloody murder about the increasing jobless rates.

Ahh, I'm just being mean because the economy is going to be awful for a decade or more. It's not your fault, Fed guys. You have your limited set of tools and those typically do the job. But not when things are this bad and not when we have an entire branch of government that has abdicated it's duties in favor of intermittently squabbling amongst themselves and attempting to pull the country down on itself for political gain. Thanks for the concern.