Pride

It's been cold out recently, so you may have thought that climate change wasn't happening. I mean after all, if it's cold right where you are, right at that very moment, how can the planet be warming on a year to year basis? But still, magazines, liberal actors, and scientists continue to claim that not only is there some sort of climate problem, but that people who actively deny it and work against it are somehow bad people. The most recent of which was Rolling Stone, who published a list of the planet's 17 worst enemies from big businessmen to elected leaders to phony scientists.

Well some people aren't happy with that list. People like international laughingstock Sen. Jim Inhofe, fresh off a failed trip to Copenhagen where he was ridiculed by the foreign press and made an ass out of himself. He's mad people aren't respecting the breadth and depth of damage he's doing to this planet.

"I should have been number one," Inhofe told KFAQ radio in Tulsa. "I guess [Warren] Buffet has a lot more money so he went first."
...
"My first response was I should have been No. 1, not No. 7," he said. "I am serious about that. I have spent now literally years on this thing, and it has been a long, involved thing.''

That's pride, baby. Granted, Rolling Stone did dub him "God's Denier", but chronicling his actions does leave him a little light on accomplishments. Sure he acted like a dangerous idiot, makes claims that CO2 isn't a pollutant, thinks God will bail everyone out if he's wrong, and makes petulant stands in committee meetings. But where's the concrete action? What's he actually done? Unless he's got a massive tire fire burning out behind his Senate office it's hard to place him against billionaire industrialists and oil company execs.

But one does appreciate his commitment. Most people would be dangerously unnerved by the seeming disconnect between their statements and recorded fact, but either Sen. Inhofe was able to tamp down that conscience with industry money or he wasn't born with it in the first place. Still Jim, there's always future Rolling Stone articles on the worst climate change offenders. You can try to increase your ranking for next year, two years from now, ten years from now, or... well I'm not sure how many years we can count on either the publishing industry or the planet not collapsing, so you might have to get a move on.

The power of prayer

You know how it is sometimes. You get so worked up over pending legislation that you and your fellow group of teabaggers pray unbelievably hard that God will go and smite leaders of the opposition so that they don't have enough votes to pass their little socialist scheme. But then the next day, as you look over the voting rolls, you see that not only did God not kill any Democrats, but that one Republican was unable to make the vote. Then that moment of panic sets in: did my prayer to kill an elected leader go into the Senate floor, miss a Democrat, ricochet around, and hit a Republican?

Well, there's only one thing left to do then: call into CSPAN and ask Sen. John Barrasso if your prayers accidentally killed Jim Inhofe instead of Robert Byrd, like you wanted.



Thankfully Barrasso was there to reassure the man that Sen. Inhofe wasn't killed by an errant prayer, he was probably just holed up in his office denying climate change or evolution or something. Whew! That was a close one.

But just a word of warning to those attempting to use the power of prayer to kill: when you order God to kill your political enemies, you have to put the killing prayer inside a spiritual sniper rifle. If you just try to cram the prayer into a metaphysical missile or a dogmatic cluster bomb, you have no idea just what kind of damage that prayer might do. No, you have to focus the power of your killing prayers. Otherwise, innocent men like Jim Inhofe might get taken down when all you are simply asking God for is the death of Robert Byrd.

It's simple shit, people.

Quote of the Day

The Copenhagen conference is over with a weak, toothless, non-binding, low target, do little climate agreement as our elected world betters (stop me if you've heard this one before) failed to heed obvious warnings, listen to experts, or take necessary action due to short term political calculations. The US Senate was blamed, China was blamed more, Gordon Brown claimed the talks were "held to ransom", Banksy unleashed snarky art, and Thom Yorke was apoplectic. Hope you like a Radiohead album full of melting arctic ice references and climate statistics.

But still, in Copenhagen we found out that there were still things we can learn from our European brethren that could be applied back here in the States. Oh, not about climate change. No, we're all fucked horribly. No, I'm talking about the way their press deals with horridly regressive and embarrassing climate change deniers like Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) who went to the Copenhagen conference to enact his "one man truth squad" and ended up bumming around Copenhagen for about two hours, before calling a press conference and getting heckled by the few press that bothered to even cover him.

A reporter asked: “If there’s a hoax, then who’s putting on this hoax, and what’s the motive?”

“It started in the United Nations,” Inhofe said, “and the ones in the United States who really grab ahold of this is the Hollywood elite.”

One reporter asked Inhofe if he was referring to California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Another reporter — this one from Der Spiegel — told the senator: “You’re ridiculous.”

Ouch. That cold shoulder was so cold that might have proved that global warming is a hoax... if the snow in Copenhagen during the summit didn't already prove that global warming was a hoax.

So, American press, would it be too much to ask that when a crazy person starts yelling bullshit about science that you'd speak up and go "You're ridiculous"? Or are will still doing that whole "Some people say that they have facts, figures, numbers, decades of research, and scientific analysis, while others say they have a notion about what God will or won't allow the planet to do. Who can say who is right?" thing? Ah well, thanks Germany for shaming Inhofe, however little his capacity for shame is. Thanks for treating him like a buffoon. Here he's treated like an important man with considerable power... which he is. It's incredibly sad.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 10.29

The High Drama Behind Reid's Public Option Decision
TPM gives the lowdown on how the White House and Harry Reid in the decision to put a public option in the Senate bill. Long story short: the WH told Reid they'd back him and it was his decision, Reid said he was "motherfuckin' goi' with the motherfuckin' public option", the WH asked if he was sure he had the votes, Reid said he did, the WH asked if he was sure he was sure he had the votes. Reid repeated yes, then strutted out of the Oval Office jauntily whereupon he was kneed in the groin by Joe Lieberman. President Obama is reported to have then preceded to give the definitive "fail facepalm" as a little piece of him died inside.

Victory for Obama Over Military Lobby
How might you ask does signing a $680 billion dollar defense spending bill that increases spending from the previous yea constitute a win? Uhhh....because military/defense lobbyists and M-16 humpers in Congress only got most of what they wanted instead of all of what they wanted. I'll throw the parade. Remember that we'll easily fork over $680 billion a year plus God knows what else for our two ongoing wars and give little thought to it. But try to spend $900 billion over a decade plus in an attempt to give people health care? Whoa buddy, you're out of your fucking mind.

Climate Change Caused Radical North Sea Shift
It seems that because of the effects of climate change on the North Sea, the ecological makeup of the area has changed, radically altering the food chain and sea based businesses. Which is fine if you think the jellyfish market is going to replace the cod market, but bad otherwise for tose who believe massive rapid ecological changes are a bad thing. Someone want to wrap this study around a brick and throw it through Jim Inhofe's front window? Does anyone know the number of a good discount masonry supplier?

Inside Astronaut Boot Camp
Popular Science takes a look at the preparations and people who are looking to be the first people in 40 years to go out further than the space station, out towards our enemy the moon. Because that's America's new space ambition: to re-do stuff that NASA already did decades ago. Marvel as the astronauts learn to drive moon buggies and laugh as a drunk Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin stumble onto the test course to heap withering abuse on what they've dubbed "Team Bitch". The only thing standing in these new astronaut's way, besides an inebriated Buzz Aldrin waving a golf club and muttering about "punks copying his shit"? That whole funding thing. Whoops, don't have that yet.

Health Care Budgeting 101: Congress’ Fiscal Scolds Earn an “F-”
FDL looks at how Blue Dog Democrats, all in the name of "fiscal accountability", have decided (and succeeded in getting) that the cost of the original House bill was too high, so in order to cut it down.....they weakened and gutted provisions that would have cut the deficit, saved money, and reduced health care costs. As always, they want to save money in the short term at the expense of costing us gobs more in the future. So just remember, anytime you hear some Blue Dog idiot droning on about "fiscal responsibility" or the deficit or some such shit, what they're really saying is that they're an idiot who doesn't understand basic economics and that they need to have their head held under water until the twitching stops.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 07.28

Tenacious G
New York Magazine asks the question: Is Goldman Sachs evil or just too good? The conclusion they come up with is that they're good at being evil. But new information abounds, as it turns out that Goldman was close to collapse there for a while. I think I just heard Matt Taibbi sigh sadly.

Obama administration reveals evidence of global warming kept secret under Bush
That's right, under the Bush Administration they classified satellite photographs showing that arctic ice was rapidly melting. That's right, ice and US Geological Survey topographical studies were deemed sensitive information. But now that the photos have been released surely this new scientific information will convince guys like James Inhofe of the reality of the situation.

MANSON COURTS SPECTOR BEHIND BARS
Yes, Charles Manson is trying to set up a prison recording session with Phil Spector. Charlie still has those delusions of musical superstardom, good to see he's keeping the dream alive. Hopefully this ends better than Charlie's attempts to get Brian and Dennis Wilson to produce his music. What was it Dennis said? "Chuckles, I'd rather see Sharon Tate and all her friends murdered by your minions than have to listen to your fucking demo of 'Cease to Exist' one more goddamn time"? Hopefully Phil lets him down easier.

Gates, Crowley To Join Obama For Beers On Thursday
Our long national nightmare ends as President Obama finally sits down to drink a beer with the loudmouth professor and the blowhard cop who have transfixed the nation with their childish actions. Though given the interaction between Gates and Crowley when they were sober, should we really be introducing booze into the equation?

Why markets can’t cure healthcare
Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman gets all economical up in this bitch as he explains how because of costs and the very nature of medical care that the free market can't properly regulate health care. This marks the 1000th straight time Paul Krugman will make a trenchant and valid point immediately relevant to the current issues debate that will be promptly ignored by the elected betters he allegedly shares the same side of the ideological spectrum with.

House passes resolution that states Obama was born in Hawaii, 378-0
Childish political gamesmanship is taken to new levels as Obama birthers were forced to vote on a bill commemorating Hawaii's 50th anniversary as a state that had been augmented to include a reference to the state being the birthplace of one Barack Hussein "Born in Mombassa" Obama. The potential for crazy 'birther' speeches seemed to be ready for blastoff as Michelle Bachmann blocked a simple voice vote on the uncontroversial measure and made it go to a floor vote. But, shockingly, sense prevailed within the GOP caucus as the conspiracy freaks either held their nose and voted for a lie or bravely skipped the vote. In case you're wondering why health care can't get passed it's because our elected betters spend most of their time dicking around with this kind of petty bullshit.

Of course

What was that I just heard? I think it was the opposition to climate change taking yet another step back. Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) took to the floor to opine on his new scientific theory about the burning of fossil fuels:

If their argument there is “Well, we don’t want to use oil and gas because we think it pollutes” — which it doesn’t — but if that’s their argument, then why are we willing to import it from Saudi Arabia and other countries in the Middle East?

Take away the first illogical point of his argument: that because people think oil and gas pollute that is somehow incongruous with importing it from other countries. He just stated, as if he were telling people the sun rose in the morning, that oil and gas don't pollute. Slow golf clap everyone. Just when you think you at least have the parameters of the debate scoped out, the GOP flips the game.

I thought we were having the "debate" over whether man-made pollution even had an effect on the planet, it turns out we're "debating" whether or not fossil fuels even pollute. I think the next step is for Inhofe to pretend that he doesn't even know what you're talking about when you mention fossil fuels. "Oy-yul? Guh-ass? What are these strange words you have invented? I know not of them. Everyone knows cars run on magic and that magic doesn't pollute. Whatever the word 'pollute' is supposed to mean. I can't say I've heard that word much before either." Brave new frontiers are being explored in the service of intellectual dishonesty. Gaze upon the Edmund Hillary of bullshit.

Montana: The Last Best Place.......to hold terrorists

The GOP has become very clear on Guantanamo Bay: everyone there is guilty, anything used to interrogate them is fair game short of a gay interrogator, and these men housed there are such criminal masterminds and such a threat to America that they must never be allowed on American soil. Either because we need a super prison, like one we'd build to hold Lex Luthor or the Hulk, they magically gain rights when they tough American soil, or because it would invalidate about eight years of GOP arguments that we can't let these men tough American soil because *mumble*mumble* something something terrorism.

Senate Republicans settled Monday on their first line of attack in the battle over closing the U.S. detention facility at Guantanamo Bay: No detainees can come to American soil.

With the blessing of his party leaders, Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.) is expected to offer the language as an amendment to a $91.3 billion wartime spending bill that could come before the Senate as early as Tuesday.

Security concerns. US prisons are good enough to hold the worst of the worst and, given the rate at which we incarcerate our citizens, are given the chance to do so in overcrowded situations. But now they can't handle another couple dozen guys. Because *mumble*mumble* something something terrorism.

But not everyone thinks that way, in fact a Montana town thinks it's up to the job.

It is a long way from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. But if people here get their way, up to 100 detainees now held in Guantanamo will soon be living in a brand new prison on the edge of town.
...
It is a windowless, low-slung tan concrete hulk surrounded by a double row of high mesh fence topped with gleaming coils of razor wire.

Earlier this month, Hardin's town council voted unanimously to offer the US government a deal: Send Hardin the detainees that most foreign countries and other cities the US are afraid to take.

That doesn't sound bleaker and more depressing to a terrorist than Cuba? Here's how bad the situation is in Hardin: 1. they have a town economic development director who's only job seems to be filling a prison 2. the people of the town view a opportunity to house terrorists as a chance at an economic boom and a chance at getting "a piece of the American dream." Frankly from the sounds of Hardin, an apt punishment would be to make the terrorists try to eke out a living there, prison be damned.

So come on here. We have a need to eliminate a worldwide blight on our reputation, a chance to economically stimulate a depressed region, an empty prison, and conditions that might be psychologically worse for the terrorists. Win-win-win-win. Big Sky Gitmo. It almost makes too much sense.

Gitmo: Compare/Contrast

UK government suppressed evidence on Binyam Mohamed torture because MI6 helped his interrogators

Mr Mohamed, 30, an Ethiopian, was granted refugee status in Britain in 1994. He was picked up in Pakistan in 2002 on suspicion of involvement in terrorism, rendered to Morocco and Afghanistan, tortured and then sent to Guantanamo Bay in 2004. All terror charges against him were dropped last year.
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The 25 lines edited out of the court papers contained details of how Mr Mohamed's genitals were sliced with a scalpel and other torture methods so extreme that waterboarding, the controversial technique of simulated drowning, "is very far down the list of things they did," the official said.
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He expects Mr Mohamed, who is currently on hunger strike, finally to be sent home from Guantanamo this week.

Right-Wing Senators Praised ‘Humane’ Conditions At Gitmo During 50-Detainee ‘Mass Hunger Strike’

Several other of Inhofe’s colleagues have been singing Gitmo’s praises. House Minority John Boehner (R-OH) remarked last month, “I don’t know that there’s a terrorist treated better anywhere in the world than what has happened at Guantanamo.” “Well, I agree that its gotten an image. I don’t know that that’s all completely deserved,” Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KS) told MSNBC on Jan 22.

But according to a Guantanamo military lawyer, detainees are still being “beaten” and are living in horrific conditions. The Guardian reports today that Lt. Col. Yvonne Bradley is demanding the release of her client, who is “dying” because of his treatment.
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Sens. David Vitter (R-LA), Richard Burr (R-NC), and Pat Roberts (R-KS) were also on Inhofe’s delegation, but none are speaking about these disturbing conditions. In fact, Burr blogged that the conditions are “well thought out and in keeping with our Nation’s highest ideals.” Burr also had this puzzling assessment:

If anyone receives mistreatment at Guantanamo, it is the guard force. They must endure frequent verbal and physical attacks from detainees while maintaining the highest standard of care for those same individuals.

This is the kind of stuff you'll need to remember when the President and the Justice Department decide that the people who tortured and ordered torture shouldn't be prosecuted because of some nebulous reason and Congress decides to go along.

Official TB Shit List (the first of many, we assure you)

These Bastards strongly suggests you mail many, many bags of shit directly to the offices and/or residences of the following United States Senators, all of whom voted in favor of Measure H.R. 6304, entitled, "A bill to amend the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 to establish a procedure for authorizing certain acquisitions of foreign intelligence, and for other purposes." [emphasis mine]

Or, as we've taken to calling it around the office, "The Official Death Of The 4th Amendment To The Constitution Of The United States Of America My God How Can You People Fucking Sleep At Night You Dickless Fascist Lunatics"

Alexander (R-TN)
Allard (R-CO)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Baucus (D-MT)
Bayh (D-IN)
Bennett (R-UT)
Bond (R-MO)
Brownback (R-KS)
Bunning (R-KY)
Burr (R-NC)
Carper (D-DE)
Casey (D-PA)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Coburn (R-OK)
Cochran (R-MS)
Coleman (R-MN)
Collins (R-ME)
Conrad (D-ND)
Corker (R-TN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Craig (R-ID)
Crapo (R-ID)
DeMint (R-SC)
Dole (R-NC)
Domenici (R-NM)
Ensign (R-NV)
Enzi (R-WY)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Graham (R-SC)
Grassley (R-IA)
Gregg (R-NH)
Hagel (R-NE)
Hatch (R-UT)
Hutchison (R-TX)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Inouye (D-HI)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johnson (D-SD)
Kohl (D-WI)
Kyl (R-AZ)
Landrieu (D-LA)
Lieberman (ID-CT)
Lincoln (D-AR)
Lugar (R-IN)
Martinez (R-FL)
McCaskill (D-MO)
McConnell (R-KY)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murkowski (R-AK)
Nelson (D-FL)
Nelson (D-NE)
Obama (D-IL)
Pryor (D-AR)
Roberts (R-KS)
Rockefeller (D-WV)
Salazar (D-CO)
Shelby (R-AL)
Smith (R-OR)
Snowe (R-ME)
Specter (R-PA)
Stevens (R-AK)
Sununu (R-NH)
Thune (R-SD)
Vitter (R-LA)
Voinovich (R-OH)
Warner (R-VA)
Webb (D-VA)
Whitehouse (D-RI)
Wicker (R-MS)