On those war things that are still happening

Rep. Alan Grayson is fed up with our two wars and how we pay for them. Yeah, that's right, we're still at war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Surprised the hell out of me when I heard it too.

Grayson isn't happy about this. Moreso, he isn't happy about all the money we have to pay to keep these wars going. Especially considering that Congress is just about to pas a $159 billion “emergency” spending bill to cover the most recent tab. So, he's proposing some new legislation. He call sit The War Is Making You Poor Act. Let him explain.

“The purpose of this bill,” wrote Grayson last week, “is to connect the dots, and to show people in a real and concrete way the cost of these endless wars.” It’s not just the costs of active shooting wars; with hundreds of bases overseas, as far as the defense budget is concerned Americans have been on a permanent wartime footing, to varying degrees, since Pearl Harbor was attacked in 1941. “War is a permanent feature of our societal landscape,” wrote Grayson, “so much so that no one notices it anymore.”

So what does the bill do?

* Limits the amount of funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
* Takes the $159 billion and uses it as a tax cut for Americans, effectively eliminating the federal income tax on the first $35,000 of every American’s income ($70,000 for married couples)
*Makes the Pentagon take the $159 billion for the wars out of their $559 billion dollar defense budget.
* Cuts the Federal deficit by $15.9 billion.

This makes sense, people would like it, it would cut the deficit, and rein in the ridiculous amount we're spending of defense. So of course it'll go over like a loud fart in church and will probably never be allowed to be voted on.

Even Secretary Gates, who is openly advocating for the cutting of billions of dollars worth of projects and telling the President to veto any defense bill that doesn't make the cuts he wants, has to be looking at Grayson and going "Pay for these wars out of money already appropriated?" *makes wanking gesture* "Get fucked, buddy."

So even though nothing will probably happen, Grayson's attempt to make sense will never get through and Gates' request that that Congress stop wasting money on pet military projects for their own districts that the military has no use for will also be ignored, it's nice to see the two attempting to inject a little rationality into our defense debate. Combating the conventional wisdom that wars are free and that defense spending doesn't count as spending is hard to do. Here's hoping that these forthcoming failed attempts don't scar them so badly they they never try again.

Naive kids, trying to act all reasonable and shit. Will wonders never cease?

Cheap Blogging Crutch 04.16

U.S. Accuses Goldman Sachs of Fraud
Today the US Government filed a civil suit against Goldman-Sachs alleging that they created and sold mortgage investments that were secretly designed to fail. By "alleged" we of course mean to say "they totally fucking did it". Shocking that a corporation that made money off of betting against the investments it sold to its customers might also be accused of nefarious deeds surrounding those investments. That sound you heard off in the distance? Matt Taibbi's boner ripping through his pants so fast that it broke the sound barrier.

The Price of Assassination
Now that our country openly advocates for assassinating our own citizens without a trial as part of our terrorist leadership decapitation strategies, one wonders: does any of this actually work? Robert Wright brings to a light a recent study that shows that decapitation strikes and assassinations are more likely to prolong the life of a organization. What a shocker, providing martyrs and rallying events for terrorist groups doesn't help shut them down. Next you're going to tell we that bombing a civilian's home doesn't make him more likely to love us.

A GOP Financial Reform Bellwether
If you had to guess what the upcoming GOP strategy for opposing financial reform was, what would it be? Outright lying, right? And well guessed by you, But this time there's an interesting twist: boldly stating the opposite of what is going on. No mere word twisting and blowing minor events out of proportion, now, we've moved straight into complaining about the opposite of what is going on. Time outlines this strategy and how closely GOP leaders are hewing to the poll tested evil of Frank Luntz.

Gates criticizes leaks group for war video
What happens when a group leaks footage of your soldiers essentially murdering a bunch of innocent people for no real reason? Well, if you're Defense Secretary Robert Gates the answer certainly isn't "apologize, investigate what went wrong, and punish those who did this and covered it up." No, the natural reaction for him is to complain that it was leaked, whine on about context and perspective, and cry about how the leakers aren't going to be punished. You know, like an adult would. He is right though, the video doesn't show the invisible terrorist ghosts that the helicopter pilots were firing at. Wikileaks just doesn't have the proper ectoplasmic video filters. Stay classy, Bob.

Pugnacious D
With Treme debuting on HBO and being so good that it got renewed for a second season after one episode, it's always interesting to delve into the mind of it's creator, and the creator of the Wire, David Simon. New York Magazine provides an extensive interview with the man.

Shadow Caster
The LA Times Magazine delves into the noir-ish history of LA police chief William H. Parker and gangster Mickey Cohen. Crooked cops, shakedown squads, Rollo Tomasi, classic gangster behavior, and how an uneasy truce between the cops and crooks went to hell when a crooked vice squad tried to shake down Cohen. An outtake adapted from the book L.A. Noir: The Struggle for the Soul of America’s Most Seductive City. Reading about this kind of thing will never get old.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 07.31

Health Care Realities
Paul Krugman on the general ignorance of the American public about health care and how much government already props up the health industry. He tells an amusing anecdote about a guy not understanding Medicare is a government program. It makes you shudder a bit inside when you think about how the combination of that lack of knowledge with the media's sole desire to cover everything in terms of political battles is going to drastically effect public perception of health care efforts and the climate for getting something worthwhile done when Congress gets back from their vacation. That's what I love about this health care fight, it just fills you with so much optimism.

U.S. Adviser’s Blunt Memo on Iraq: Time ‘to Go Home’
I know what you're thinking: "we're still in Iraq?" Yes, we are. The senior military adviser kindly trots out a stinking fish metaphor to describe our current occupation there. And here I thought things were going so well. I just hope the "senior military adviser" knows that when he says "declare victory and go home" he understands that the US government has now redefined "home" to include Afghanistan.

Obama Restores Credibility To The Presidential Medal Of Freedom
No, no, no, Barry. Don't you understand? The Presidential Medal of Freedom isn't for people like Harvey Milk, Desmond Tutu, Sidney Poitier, or Stephen Hawking. It's for rewarding political hacks who carried out your destructive orders, guys who played baseball for the team you used to own, and foreign sycophants who supported your unpopular actions against the will of their own people. Get it right next time.

E-Mails Show Larger White House Role in Prosecutor Firings
Hey, Karl Rove is an even bigger fucking liar than you originally thought he was. I know, imagining that possibility is almost inconceivable. Being asked to know the depths to which Karl Rove will sink is like being asked to know the mind of God. No man can know and it will drive you to insanity just to think about it.

The Senate and its round numbers
Tim Fernholz from the American Prospect on how all those cuts from health care an stimulus bills made by crusading "centrist" lawmakers just looking out for the little guy, seem to always be in such nice, round $100 billion type numbers. I'm sure it's just because those centrist Democrats and Blue Dogs are just so adept at removing waste and not because they pick random numbers that sound good in a newspaper headline, and set to work lopping out that number no matter how it affects a bill just so they can pretend they did something. Remember: we are governed by adults.

Demonstrators Want Lemonade at Obama Beer Summit
From yesterday, the protest of tee-totaling religious types over the consumption of alcohol at Crowley/Gates "Beer Summit". Yes it is a 'Why won't someone think of the children' argument replete with a 'booze leads to cocaine and knife crime' chaser. Unfortuantely no one at the White House listened and four adults ended up consuming a beer or two, warping the minds of impressionable children everywhere. So if you get stabbed by a coked out 8-year-old, now you know who to blame.

Michael Jackson's Hair Used for Jewelry
I don't know what's creepier: turning a dead man's hair into limited edition jewelry or holding onto charred locks of hair from a disastrous Pepsi commercial shoot for two decades in the hopes that you could make money off it. I'm betting Joe Jackson is kicking himself that he didn't think of it first.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 07.28

Tenacious G
New York Magazine asks the question: Is Goldman Sachs evil or just too good? The conclusion they come up with is that they're good at being evil. But new information abounds, as it turns out that Goldman was close to collapse there for a while. I think I just heard Matt Taibbi sigh sadly.

Obama administration reveals evidence of global warming kept secret under Bush
That's right, under the Bush Administration they classified satellite photographs showing that arctic ice was rapidly melting. That's right, ice and US Geological Survey topographical studies were deemed sensitive information. But now that the photos have been released surely this new scientific information will convince guys like James Inhofe of the reality of the situation.

MANSON COURTS SPECTOR BEHIND BARS
Yes, Charles Manson is trying to set up a prison recording session with Phil Spector. Charlie still has those delusions of musical superstardom, good to see he's keeping the dream alive. Hopefully this ends better than Charlie's attempts to get Brian and Dennis Wilson to produce his music. What was it Dennis said? "Chuckles, I'd rather see Sharon Tate and all her friends murdered by your minions than have to listen to your fucking demo of 'Cease to Exist' one more goddamn time"? Hopefully Phil lets him down easier.

Gates, Crowley To Join Obama For Beers On Thursday
Our long national nightmare ends as President Obama finally sits down to drink a beer with the loudmouth professor and the blowhard cop who have transfixed the nation with their childish actions. Though given the interaction between Gates and Crowley when they were sober, should we really be introducing booze into the equation?

Why markets can’t cure healthcare
Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman gets all economical up in this bitch as he explains how because of costs and the very nature of medical care that the free market can't properly regulate health care. This marks the 1000th straight time Paul Krugman will make a trenchant and valid point immediately relevant to the current issues debate that will be promptly ignored by the elected betters he allegedly shares the same side of the ideological spectrum with.

House passes resolution that states Obama was born in Hawaii, 378-0
Childish political gamesmanship is taken to new levels as Obama birthers were forced to vote on a bill commemorating Hawaii's 50th anniversary as a state that had been augmented to include a reference to the state being the birthplace of one Barack Hussein "Born in Mombassa" Obama. The potential for crazy 'birther' speeches seemed to be ready for blastoff as Michelle Bachmann blocked a simple voice vote on the uncontroversial measure and made it go to a floor vote. But, shockingly, sense prevailed within the GOP caucus as the conspiracy freaks either held their nose and voted for a lie or bravely skipped the vote. In case you're wondering why health care can't get passed it's because our elected betters spend most of their time dicking around with this kind of petty bullshit.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 07.27

O'S WATCHDOG SNIFFING OUT RICH PAY PACKAGES
Finally. I mean haven't we been all waiting for weeks for a powerless compensation czar to look at financial industry pay structure for those receiving bailout money, decree which ones are ridiculous (hint: all of them), and then hope that with enough whining and media attention (hint: there won't be any) that he'll be able to chisel a few bucks out of the greediest fuckers on earth? I have.

Palin Steps Down As Alaska Governor
America's dumb rural aunt pretends to fade off into the pretend sunset. Yes it was replete with bullshit accusations, attempts to pretend scrutiny of her was disrespect to the American soldier, a litany of bizarre grammar, stories, anecdotes, and analogies, and all spit-shined with the pretend polish that she isn't dumping Alaska to immediately going to go out whoring for money she thinks the governorship is preventing her from hoarding. She will never go away.

David Vitter's "Serious Sin": GOP Eyes Fate Senator In Louisiana
A GOP hooker-banger runs for re-election. Eliot Spitzer weeps a little inside. Unsurprisingly he has the support of the GOP establishment and the religious powers, who have been moved by his attempts to pretend it never happened, that he doesn't know what you're talking about, and thank the baby Jesus that chased all the poor blacks out of the state with that hurricane. On the bright side: a porn star is running against him, so: intentional and unintentional comedy abounds.

The Petition to Make Obama Apologize
The NRSC comes out with their petition to try to make President Obama apologize for correctly identifying that police may have acted stupidly for arresting Professor Henry Louis Gates in front of his house the other day. Because when the charges are immediately dropped that's how you know police are completely in the right.

An Incoherent Truth
The ECON7-KRUGBOT MK-3000 opines on health care and the incomprehensible demands of the eternally retarded Blue Dogs Caucus, the caucus most likely to fuck it all up, are making on the bill. It turns out when you group hypocrite morons together, they just get louder and dumber, in addition to more powerful.

Forget Aloof, Bernanke Goes Barnstorming
Ben "Bitches love my rate cuts" Bernanke hits the road to stump for the Fed, trying to convince everyone that the central bank is helpful and not mysterious or menacing in any way. And if you don't believe that he'll leverage billions against you and destroy you in ways he will neither reveal nor could you hope to ever understand.

Jupiter: Our Cosmic Protector?
You want to know why God's attempts to murder us with asteroids have turned out so feebly? Is God a bitch? Have we found and worshiped a better God that protects us from the old jealous one? No, it turn out that Jupiter, friend that he is, is just using its massive size and gravitational pull to take the brunt of the damage for the solar system. So give it up for the Big J. The dinosaurs didn't and you see what mighty Jupiter did to them. Worship our new celestial master.

Where all the white women at?

Filed cleanly in the "Beyond Satire" end of the world:

Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr., one of the nation's pre-eminent African-American scholars, was arrested Thursday afternoon at his home by Cambridge police investigating a possible break-in. The incident raised concerns among some Harvard faculty that Gates was a victim of racial profiling.

Police arrived at Gates' Ware Street home near Harvard Square at 12:44 p.m. to question him. Gates, director of the W.E.B. Du Bois Institute for African and African American Research at Harvard, had trouble unlocking his door after it became jammed.

He was booked for disorderly conduct after "exhibiting loud and tumultuous behavior," according to a police report.

We at TheseBastards would just like to remind everyone that racism is over.

Gates and his Hindenburg attack force

Some people wondered what was it about Defense Secretary Gates that Obama liked. Was it Gates' pragmatic approach to the war on terror, his desire to see troops leave Iraq, and his desire to strengthen the mission in Afghanistan? Was it his competent stewardship of the DOD? Maybe it was just the desire to to have too many balls in the air while trying to pull the country out of a tailspin? Nope. It was Gates vision for an US army comprised of a fighting force of attack zeppelins. Kaisertech!

With the announcement by President-elect Barack Obama last week that Gates will remain in his job in the new administration, the Defense chief has been given broad new power to reshape how the Pentagon selects, designs and builds new weapons systems.

The decision to keep Gates could spell the end of the Army's $160-billion Future Combat Systems program and dim Air Force hopes for large numbers of new high-tech F-22 fighter jets. At the same time, smaller projects -- perhaps blimps or light planes useful for ongoing conflicts -- are likely to find new support.

Gates wants to effectively reshape the way the military buys and what it chooses to buy, favoring more practical low tech and specific solutions to specific problems instead of high tech, high cost solutions for low tech problems and low tech enemies. In effect moving us away from the Cold War weapons system mentality. Other than blimptech, he wants to move to use more drones, more light craft with precision bombs, and things that could provide cheaper air cover, like perhaps a man with a rifle in a deck chair with balloons tied to it. He feels that you don't need $100 million dollar planes when $5 million dollar ones work fine. He is a heretic who must be burned.

So there an added side benefit to Gates: slightly more sane defense spending. Which is a change, because I was pretty certain that defense spending didn't count as spending. Live and learn.