Compare/Contrast

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on health care:

As I said to some friends yesterday in the press, we will go through the gate. If the gate is closed, we will go over the fence. If the fence is too high, we will pole vault in. If that doesn’t work, we will parachute in. But we are going to get health care reform passed for the American people for their own personal health and economic security and for the important role that it will play in reducing the deficit.

Various and sundry Senate assholes on health care:

Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.) said health care reform “is on life support, unfortunately,” and the president should have been more specific with how Democrats should move forward.
...
Sen. Mark Pryor (D-Ark.) said it was “a real possibility that health care is at a stalemate and you can’t solve it this year.”
...
Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) said on health care reform, Democrats are “thinking about it and how to move on it.”

But, he added, jobs are the current high priority and that is what we are going to work on for now.

Anyone still confident that health care is going to be acted on anytime soon? They've got to pretend they're doing something on jobs now.

Hope you kept your snorkels, New Orleans

One must marvel at the lengths our elected betters go sometimes to completely toady to their corporate donors. Take, for instance, Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu. As Senator for the beleaguered state she must know that any of the adverse effects of global warming and climate change will adversely effect her state. From floods, to heat, to extra powerful hurricanes, to New Orleans going under water a couple more dozen times, to Drew Brees pulling a hamstring, all of these are climate dangers that will specifically damage states like Louisiana.

On the other hand, she gets $1.5 million in donations of pro-pollution, anti-environmental sectors so, her hands are tied. So you can see why she's working so hard to make sure her state drowns.

Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.) told reporters Wednesday that she is working with Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) on Murkowski's efforts to block EPA from regulating greenhouse gases under the agency's current Clean Air Act powers.
...
"I am considering that right now," Landrieu said when asked whether she backed Murkowski's plan. "I have been working with her on it."

Landrieu said she is not yet ready to announce anything but believes the Clean Air Act is not meant to be applied to carbon dioxide emissions.

Yeah, of course carbon dioxide isn't a pollutant that should be regulated by the Clean Air Act or the EPA. It's as obvious as the fact that the Earth was formed 6,000 years ago and the fact that I DIDN'T DESCEND FROM NO ORANGUTAN!!!!!!

You know you can kind of understand when congresspeople from South Dakota don't get all that thrilled about acting on climate legislation. Hell, it's not like South Dakota is going to be covered by melted ice cap water or hit by extra powerful hurricanes. South Dakota could take a direct meteor strike and the entire state would barely look different. In fact increased temperatures and a coastline that advances inland by a couple hundred miles would actually dramatically improve most of the Midwest. But for a Senator who represents a state that contains large chunks of population and infrastructure below sea level and is already vulnerable to extreme weather? It's almost completely indefensible.

On the other hand, $1.5 million is a lot of money. She probably made the right choice.

Senate to America: Waaaah, work is hard

After struggling to kinda, sorta, almost pass health care reform this year on top of all the hard work they did greasing the skids for Tim Geithner and Ben Bernanke to give everyone's money to Wall Street, moderate Senate Democrats have a message to those who want them to take action on climate change: boo hoo, addressing large, complex problems is hard, we don't wanna, you can't make us.

Bruised by the health care debate and worried about what 2010 will bring, moderate Senate Democrats are urging the White House to give up now on any effort to pass a cap-and-trade bill next year.

“I am communicating that in every way I know how,” said Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.), one of at least a half-dozen Democrats who've told the White House or their own leaders that it's time to jettison the centerpiece of their party's plan to curb global warming.
...
“We need to deal with the phenomena of global warming, but I think it’s very difficult in the kind of economic circumstances we have right now,” said Indiana Democratic Sen. Evan Bayh, who called passage of any economywide cap and trade “unlikely.
...
“I’d just as soon see that set aside until we work through the economy,” said Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.).
...
“Climate change in an election year has very poor prospects,” added Sen. Kent Conrad (D-N.D.).

Awww, it'd be hard work and Republicans would call you liberal hippie pussies. Well, guess what? It's hard work precisely because the problem is so large and you've spent decades not doing a fucking thing about it. Plus, you're going to get called liberal hippie pussies even if you nuke Tehran, so get used to it and man up. And not or nothing, but you all talk a big game about doin' stuff for the economy and makin' jobs a priority, but what exactly have you done? If it's such a large priority why are you dicking around and not solving it? The Senate can't do more than one thing at a time?

Can I break something to you? Your jobs? They're about voting on complex shit that has large ramifications to the country and world at large. I'm sorry if that's some great mental burden, but it's what you signed up for. I don't recall anyone standing around saying "Boy, we just gotta force this Ben Nelson fella to run for office" and then voting him in against his will. You don't want to vote on complex important shit that does a lot, costs a lot, and will be used to attack you politically? Well then, might I suggest you figure out what your life's work is and get to it, because being a senator sure as shit isn't it.

Sorry you're expected to do stuff and vote on things. But then again, did you run for office so you could have a nice big nameplate that had the title "Senator" on it or did you actually run to, you know, do something? Sorry, that was a stupid question. I'm sorry this legislation nonsense is getting in the way of you all being Senators. Maybe the next government we create will have some sort of workaround for that. Until then though, could you just maybe try to address more than one issue a year? For us?

One step closer to awful compromise

It's Monday, and if I'm not mistaken, I do recall the Democrats in the Senate voting to officially start the debate of the debate of the debate of the debate over whether to start the debate over health care. By which I mean "debate". Everyone already knows pretty much how everyone is going to vote and there will be very little deliberation in the "world's greatest deliberative body". 40 Republicans will vote against it, 56 Democrats for it, and a collection of 4 Democrats will try to make the bill dumber, less effective, cover less people, and reduce costs less in a bid for relevance and TV time. Yes, because we couldn't even get through a bullshit procedural vote without Democrats rushing towards the mics to announce all the ways they'd kill the bill if they didn't get their terrible, shortsighted way.

There was Mary Landrieu ("D"-LA), telling people that the public option had to be "triggered" -likely in a way that means it'll never be triggered- or she wouldn't vote to over come a filibuster. Ben Nelson ("D"-NE) was out on the Sunday talk show circuit talking about filibustering if the bill had a public option, didn't get all Stupak-y with women's uteri, and get better on costs controls, which, if his past action on the stimulus are any indication, means cutting actual cost control measures. Blanche Lincoln ("D"-AK) said the same on the public option, and Joe Lieberman (Lieberman-CT) popped his head up to remind everyone he's still a rotten douche. They all took care to mention that the public option doesn't have the support of the Senate. But, as we've learned, when 56 Senators support something that means that something doesn't have support.

Of course Bernie Sanders (Socialist~!-VT) and Roland Burris ($50 or best offer-IL) tried to point out that they'll block passage of a bill without a public option, but they were laughed out of the room because they were advocating for a liberal position and will be expected to cave without getting anything.

So there we are: "debate" has started. Soon the last remaining gasps of life the bill has will be compromised out by the same cast of characters you wish would die in a plane crash. Then after the reform bill passes without a public option and featuring a requirement that makes all women get a signed permission slip from Ben Nelson before taking an aspirin, it moves to the conference committee where we'll all pretend that he bill might get better...and it won't. Then the bill will be signed amid claims of "history" and "no, really, this is a good bill", as people try to subsume their rage as yet another opportunity to fix a large problem was squandered by our elected betters. In other words: the way it was pretty much expected to go at the start of the whole process. God bless this great land.

That's good to know

In this entire health care reform debate there have been many areas of concern and worry for Americans watching the progress and seeing what would be in the bill. I think the one thing that most of us has been worried about, the thing that keeps most of us up at nights drenched in a cold sweat, is concern over how Democrats who try to kill health reform legislation will feel after they kill it. I mean the thought of one of them actually feeling bad over the decision to deny millions of Americans reform and coverage would just be too much to bear. Thankfully the last honest man, Joe Lieberman, has assured us he won't feel any remorse. Now, Ben Nelson has stepped forward to let us sleep easier knowing that he won't feel remorse over the prospect of killing health reform.

Ben Nelson, a key conservative Senate Democrats, said on Wednesday that he was pleased with the changes party leadership had made to health care legislation, specifically on matters of deficit reduction. But the Nebraska senator, whose vote has been elusive to pin down so far, said he would be comfortable being the lone Democrat to prevent the bill from overcoming a Republican filibuster.

"I'm very comfortable having my vote, whatever it is, whichever way it goes," Nelson said, in response to a question from the Huffington Post. "I've said that from the beginning. There are other ways. I just have to make a decision based on what I think is best for the people of Nebraska and the people of our country. And then we will let the chips fall wherever they fall."

Oh thank God. I'm so glad he isn't going to be plagued by the dreaded scourge of conscience. I think we're all glad he's comfortable with the possibility of voting against health reform. Because I have become comfortable with the fact that I'll be bankrupted by the slightest illness or stubbed toe.

That's why it was so heartening to see Nelson and Lieberman come out and say that not only will they be able to fuck over everyone on health reform, but they won't have to miss a meal just because they doomed tens of millions of people to have no access to health care and ensured health costs would continue to rise unsustainably. That's why it was so disheartening to see Mary Landrieu soften her rhetoric in the face of intense criticism over her dalliances with killing reform. Mary, this is the time to follow Joe's way. Stop being so concerned with us, this is a time to think only of yourself. We'll muddle on, we just don't want you feeling bad about it.

Because isn' the personal well being and feelings of Senators what health care reform is all about? That was a serious question, because it certainly isn't about providing the best reform possible or the problems facing the American people. So I think the emotional state of our elected betters is all that's left.

It begins

Today is the final steps in the Senate's health care legislation are taking place. This afternoon there should be a CBO score. Tonight, Harry Reid will unveil the bill to the Democratic caucus, strutting it around the room, making sure it meets everyone who'll stab it in the back. So finally, America moves one step closer to having slightly improved health care options, coverage, reduced costs....what's that Majority Whip Dick Durbin?

Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin isn't inflating anybody's expectations about Harry Reid's chances for passing a health care bill with a public option on the Senate floor. On MSNBC last night, Durbin said it would be a hard slog.

"We're working on it, struggling," he said

*sighs* Well, maybe in the end you'll finally get them to be able to come around...you have something to add Sen. Tom Carper (D-DE)?

"We're concerned that a number of centrists aren't prepared to vote for a national public plan, even with an opt-out," Carper said in response to a question from TPMDC. "We're trying to find something that addresses their concern about government run, government-funded, but still addresses the need for the affordability needs and the need for more competition in states that don't have it."

*sighs* How about showing them that the public option wouldn't be government funded, but by premiums people payed....like with insurance, and that the thing wouldn't be directly government run according to reports. Would that work? Would that get it through their thick skulls? See..

“I think we ought to begin a dialogue on this and see where it leads,” said Senator Evan Bayh, Democrat of Indiana, adding that this position was no guarantee he would support the measure in the end.

But...

When asked if Lincoln would vote to break a filibuster aimed at preventing the debate from starting, a Lincoln aide said she “has not committed her vote to anyone,”

Jesus Chr...

Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.): Landrieu may have just won reelection, but she consistently positions herself in the middle of her caucus — and is now “very skeptical” about the Reid plan. She refused to say whether she would even vote to begin debate

Rotten fuck...

Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.): Perhaps the most conservative Democrat in the Senate, Nelson said Tuesday that it’s “too soon” to say how he’ll vote

Alright, so we're not even committed to maybe discussing the possibility of voting for a bill that reduces costs and makes coverage more accessible. God, I hate Senate Democrats. So, in actuality it's not so much the beginning of the last stage in the battle to pass health care, it's the beginning of the last stage where "moderate Democrats" kill the bill and shoot themselves in the foot in one tandem shot. Why is there any reason to believe they won't screw this up completely?

Bill Kristol: "I think the health care bill, which is another sign of being out of touch, and trying to impose a massive ideological agenda on the American public, I think it will fail in the Senate in the next month."

America's Worst Pundit/the Wrongest Man in the World is convinced this will fail? Suddenly, for the first time in a long time, I feel optimism about health care in the Senate. Though really, this is going to test the limits of time and space. What happens when the Democrats well honed ability to screw up anything good comes into conflict with Kristol's preternatural ability to get everything wrong. Democrats can't screw this up and have Kristol be wrong. It's like the irresistible force vs. the immovable object. All I'm saying is that it may well end up destroying the world.

Sotomayor moves forward

It seems the Sotomayor confirmation process has regained some semblance of sanity. It would have been hard to get crazier, but still, things have been knocked back into almost sane levels of discourse. Well, by current standards anyway. Even Newt Gingrich is on board. He no longer thinks Sotomayor is a complete racist, he just think she's a "racialist", whatever that means. I guess that makes her a 7 on the racism scale, instead of her previous Tufnel-esque 11. Even Christian groups are getting on board, with the organization "Faith and Action in the Nation's Capitol" anointing the confirmation room with holy oils in an attempt to bless the room for a "truthful process for the American people." And if it perhaps leads to evil liberal spirits being forcefully exorcised from Democratic lawmakers and Sotomayor as they enter the room, that's just a bonus.

Even Sotomayor's recent ankle shattering has been met with some measure of restraint. Tom Tancredo has gone out of his way not to mention that white men are sturdier and have stronger ankles and said he even kind of regrets greasing the LaGuardia Airport terminal floor and paying an intern to trip her. Lawmakers are even going out of their way to be more accommodating.

Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) had “a bag of ice and a pillow on hand” when she arrived, and quipped, “I hope you all note that some Republicans are empathetic, too.” Sens. Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH) and Mary Landrieu (D-LA) both signed her cast, and Sen. Ben Nelson (D-NE) presented the Yankees fan with a “snapshot…of himself posing outside the old Yankee Stadium.”

Oh, that Vitter. As long as he isn't paying you $300 an hour to fuck him, he's a real charmer. But I can see why he was nice, he really needs to learn her judicial thoughts on prosecuting lawmakers who moralize about values and nail hookers on the side. And that rascal Ben Nelson. I'm sure there's nothing Judge Sotomayor will cherish more than a photo of you standing outside a stadium. You do know how to pick a gift.

See? Everything is all right. Just ignore the previous weeks. This is a semi-adult legal body conducting themselves in a semi-adult manner. No need to remember all that shame you felt. Blessings! Racialist! Ben Nelson photos! Meetings with Johns! America is back on track.

Official TB Shit List (the first of many, we assure you)

These Bastards strongly suggests you mail many, many bags of shit directly to the offices and/or residences of the following United States Senators, all of whom voted in favor of Measure H.R. 6304, entitled, "A bill to amend the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 to establish a procedure for authorizing certain acquisitions of foreign intelligence, and for other purposes." [emphasis mine]

Or, as we've taken to calling it around the office, "The Official Death Of The 4th Amendment To The Constitution Of The United States Of America My God How Can You People Fucking Sleep At Night You Dickless Fascist Lunatics"

Alexander (R-TN)
Allard (R-CO)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Baucus (D-MT)
Bayh (D-IN)
Bennett (R-UT)
Bond (R-MO)
Brownback (R-KS)
Bunning (R-KY)
Burr (R-NC)
Carper (D-DE)
Casey (D-PA)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Coburn (R-OK)
Cochran (R-MS)
Coleman (R-MN)
Collins (R-ME)
Conrad (D-ND)
Corker (R-TN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Craig (R-ID)
Crapo (R-ID)
DeMint (R-SC)
Dole (R-NC)
Domenici (R-NM)
Ensign (R-NV)
Enzi (R-WY)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Graham (R-SC)
Grassley (R-IA)
Gregg (R-NH)
Hagel (R-NE)
Hatch (R-UT)
Hutchison (R-TX)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Inouye (D-HI)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johnson (D-SD)
Kohl (D-WI)
Kyl (R-AZ)
Landrieu (D-LA)
Lieberman (ID-CT)
Lincoln (D-AR)
Lugar (R-IN)
Martinez (R-FL)
McCaskill (D-MO)
McConnell (R-KY)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murkowski (R-AK)
Nelson (D-FL)
Nelson (D-NE)
Obama (D-IL)
Pryor (D-AR)
Roberts (R-KS)
Rockefeller (D-WV)
Salazar (D-CO)
Shelby (R-AL)
Smith (R-OR)
Snowe (R-ME)
Specter (R-PA)
Stevens (R-AK)
Sununu (R-NH)
Thune (R-SD)
Vitter (R-LA)
Voinovich (R-OH)
Warner (R-VA)
Webb (D-VA)
Whitehouse (D-RI)
Wicker (R-MS)

Spying is legal now

Senate Approves Telecom Immunity and New Eavesdropping Rules

WASHINGTON (AP) --The Senate has approved a bill overhauling the rules on secret government eavesdropping and granting immunity to telecom companies that helped listen in on Americans after Sept. 11.

The Senate passed the bill Wednesday, 69-28. It turned back three amendments that would have watered down, delayed or stripped away the immunity provision demanded by President Bush.

Every Republican voted for it. They were joined by Democrats Bayh - Carper - Casey - Conrad - Dorgan - Feinstein - Innuoye - Kohl - Landrieu - Lincoln - McCaskill - Mukulski - Nelson (Neb.) - Nelson (Fla.) - Obama - Pryor - Rockefeller - Salazar - Webb - Whitehouse.

Things we learned: the Constitution was more of a list of suggestions not any binding laws or anything. No one was using the 4th Amendment anyway. What's Rule of Law? As long as someone tells you it's legal, you can do it and get away with it. Corporations have rights, you do not. When everyone admits you flagrantly broke the law and commited a felony, the best thing to do is cover it up and let you off without so much as a warning. When Republicans get everything they want and more, that's called a compromise. Humping the Hope & Change pony doesn't really mean shit when you don't have the stones to back it up. Jay Rockefeller, Steny Hoyer and a bunch of other Democrats need to be beaten with a sack full of oranges and buried in a swamp.

EDIT: Go thank the ACLU.

“Once again, Congress blinked and succumbed to the president’s fear-mongering. With today’s vote, the government has been given a green light to expand its power to spy on Americans and run roughshod over the Constitution,” said Anthony D. Romero, Executive Director of the American Civil Liberties Union. “This legislation will give the government unfettered and unchecked access to innocent Americans’ international communications without a warrant. This is not only unconstitutional, but absolutely un-American.”