Darfuristan
Remember Darfur? Of course you do. It was a big problem with genocide in.... Africa or someplace, Ryan Gosling wore that Darfur t-shirt, then everything got fixed. Not so much. In a sprawling Rolling Stone article, Ben Wallace-Wells takes a look at how the various international efforts and strategies have created a quagmire situation in Darfur and how the problems going on there are different, yet still as potentially bad as the ones that were occurring six years ago.
Florida Lawmaker Attempts To Deny Tax Credit To Movies Filmed With Gay Characters
That's right, a Florida legislator is trying to deny a tax credit to any film that lenses in Florida with a gay character or otherwise doesn't conform to his standard of returning America's wang and our meth and gator repository back to an imagined Mayberry like existence. Luckily this doesn't pertain to films that hire gays or were written, directed, or starring gays. Otherwise no film would lens in Florida. Sadly this means that Sean and mine's attempt to film and all-gay remake of the Passion of the Christ will have to find another state to film in.
Reconciliation Not Easy to Influence
Whither the scummy lobbyist and industry shill? It seems in all this talk of reconciliation this and "improving health care" that we haven't been considering the feeling of insurance and pharmaceutical industry lobbyists. Thankfully Roll Call is there to let us hear their lamentations about how the reconciliation process will largely shut them out of making tweaks and suggestions to any bill. Oh sure, they've cut several pounds of flesh from the bills that were already passed, but how will they be able to survive unless they get a bill that completely caters to their whims? I don't want to live in a country that forces me to contemplate that thought.
Number of millionaires in America increased 16 percent in 2009.
Sure, you don't have a job and you just stole food from your cat, but thankfully our social and financial betters were able to become richer during these hard times. It's nice to know that most of this unpleasantness is being confined to the peasants classes. Rich getting richer? Poor getting poorer? I think we're right on track for a return to serfdom in 2019. That ought to make medieval studies students happy.
That's a hella number: Scientists call for new word to describe 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
,000
We mostly applaud scientists and the pursuit of knowledge around here. But that's mostly because we took them to be serious scholars. Who knew that there were corners of science filled with brew-dog chugging frat bros chest bumping to Limp Bizkit. Why else would they propose that 'hella' join the ranks of giga, mega, and kilo. Sure, 27 zeros would need to be involved before the word hellameter was invoked, but it's the damn principle of the thing. Can't we use something classy, like 'fuckin' or 'shit-ton'?
Chile Earthquake Moved Entire City 10 Feet to the West
Earthquakes: they steal time, mess with our axis, and screw with out precise GPS and longitude/latitude systems. As of now, Concepcion is 10 feet west of where it used to be, Santiago moved 11 inches west, and even Buenos Ares moved an inch. Just imagine in Concepcion, you now have to walk a few steps further to get where you want to go. Also: your entire city was largely destroyed. Talk about piling up inconveniences. This is too much, I think we need to have a talk with the mole people or the CIA earthquake satellite so me can stop this time altering, geography shifting nonsense.
Showing posts with label lobbyists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lobbyists. Show all posts
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Inspiring facts about government
Though no official study has taken place, scienticians and fungineers estimate that any action taken by the US Congress will have a one in a thousand chance of benefiting the basic gruel eating American underclass more than it benefits a corporation or lobbying group. In fact, a wizened panel of Nobel laureates, Buddhist scholars, and ex-diplomats once mused that most legislation wouldn't pass unless it included "a hardcore buttfuckin' of the American people." Their words, not mine.
The point is we know this and realize our job as citizens is to adopt a siege mentality that eventually morphs into Stockholm Syndrome as we keep re-elected 95% of the same people and hoping that they do something different if we ask them in a stern tone. So I don't know why we needed OpenSecrets to rub our noses in it how little our voices are heard over the din of cash registers.
The most money was spent by the health, finance, and energy sectors. Just coincidentally the three major areas that were going to be addressed in this Congress. And in yet another coincidence, not only have none of them passed, but all three have been severely weakened and are rife with industry concessions and sweetheart deals in the unlikely event they do pass. I wonder how that happened.
You just keep telling yourself that your one vote, one voice thing matters. It's cute.
The point is we know this and realize our job as citizens is to adopt a siege mentality that eventually morphs into Stockholm Syndrome as we keep re-elected 95% of the same people and hoping that they do something different if we ask them in a stern tone. So I don't know why we needed OpenSecrets to rub our noses in it how little our voices are heard over the din of cash registers.
As the Center for Responsive Politics reported last week, federal lobbying soared to record levels last year, as lawmakers clocked long hours and worked at a pace to be, in the opinion of one congressional scholar, the most productive Congress in decades.CHA-FUCKING-CHING!! $1.3 million per hour. That doesn't even get into the money they spend in donations, fundraisers, ads, and PAC's. It's just going to get better too, now that the Supreme Court says that corporations have unfettered spending rights in elections.
This translates to about $1.3 million spent on lobbying for every hour that Congress was in session in 2009, the Center for Responsive Politics has found.
Lawmakers in both chambers met for a total of 2,668 hours, according congressional records. The U.S. Senate was open for business on 191 days, while the U.S. House convened on 159 days.
Federal lobbying records show clients spent $3.47 billion on lobbying Congress, the White House and other federal agencies.
The most money was spent by the health, finance, and energy sectors. Just coincidentally the three major areas that were going to be addressed in this Congress. And in yet another coincidence, not only have none of them passed, but all three have been severely weakened and are rife with industry concessions and sweetheart deals in the unlikely event they do pass. I wonder how that happened.
You just keep telling yourself that your one vote, one voice thing matters. It's cute.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
What an immense pussy
You may have heard that political legacy baby, corporatist idiot, and milquetoast centrist halfwit Evan Bayh is quitting the Senate because he doesn't love it or something. He's setting it free and if it returns, it was meant to be. He's not seeking reelection in Indiana, where he was expected to waltz to victory, because he's tired of the hyper-partisanship in Washington.
Ignoring the fact that it's people like him that contribute greatly to Washington's ills, he essentially sees the best way to cure the Senate of it's partisanship is to take his ball and go home, quit in a manner that makes it much easier for Republicans to take his seat and increase gridlock even more, and then go become a lobbyist. But this low grade hypocrisy is par for the Bayh course.
I'm not so much interested in losing a shitty Senator as I am in the reasons for his leaving that are leaking out. He sounds like an immense fucking baby.
So let me be the 9 millionth human to make the "Buh-Bayh" joke and advise that you not let the door hit you in the ass too hard on your way out. Good luck reforming the country from a giant lobbying conglomerate while prepping your 2012 run or whatever it is you've deluded yourself into thinking will happen now.
These are the type of people that run our country. Does that explain everything yet?
Ignoring the fact that it's people like him that contribute greatly to Washington's ills, he essentially sees the best way to cure the Senate of it's partisanship is to take his ball and go home, quit in a manner that makes it much easier for Republicans to take his seat and increase gridlock even more, and then go become a lobbyist. But this low grade hypocrisy is par for the Bayh course.
I'm not so much interested in losing a shitty Senator as I am in the reasons for his leaving that are leaking out. He sounds like an immense fucking baby.
Aww, he doesn't like the dirty hippies. What else?In his two terms in the Senate, Bayh cut a centrist path and worked across party lines, which at times frustrated liberal Democrats.
"He hates the Senate, hates the left bloggers," a friend and longtime adviser to Bayh said. "They are getting their wish, pure Democrats in the minority."
Bayh is an anomaly of sorts; he really grew to dislike the influence of liberal activists on his Senate colleagues. To him, these activists increased the cost of doing business.What a pussy. He quit because the hippies didn't like him and because Obama wasn't going to sell them out hard enough. Need I point out to Bayh that the dirty liberals haven't gotten anything they wanted and that centrist corporate stooges like Evan Bayh have essentially dictated and watered down the congressional agenda? That wasn't good enough?
...
When it became clear to Bayh that the White House wasn't going to play his game -- wasn't going to sell out liberals at every turn -- Bayh decided he had had enough.
So let me be the 9 millionth human to make the "Buh-Bayh" joke and advise that you not let the door hit you in the ass too hard on your way out. Good luck reforming the country from a giant lobbying conglomerate while prepping your 2012 run or whatever it is you've deluded yourself into thinking will happen now.
These are the type of people that run our country. Does that explain everything yet?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
This looks good
There is some slight consternation over the Senate race in Massachusetts to replace Ted Kennedy's open seat. With the election coming up on the 19th, polls have the Democratic candidate Martha Coakley anywhere from holding a double digit lead to a narrow 1-2 point lead against Republican challenger Scott Brown. Unfortunately for her, there are a few too many polls showing a 1-2 point lead, so everyone is in panic. Mostly because Brown has run on the "I'll filibuster health care, no reform, do nothing, down with the Union!" platform that so encapsulates the modern GOP and unless the House and Senate get off their asses and decide on a reconciliation bill, Brown would be able to join a filibuster of it.
That's troubling to people who would like to see some attempt to make health care more available and cheaper, even if the bill is intensely mediocre. The only recourse left would be for the House to pass the Senate bill ass is, which would be difficult. So, in an attempt to prop Coakley up and make sure she keeps that winning margin and makes sure health care will pass, groups of concerned citizens have rushed to her aid.
So just in case you were wondering whether or not the reconciliation process was going to lead to some better deals or an attempt to cut prescription drug prices so that we can at least pay something closer to what every other country on the earth pays or that the new Democratic Senator from Massachusetts might be as big a fighter for health care as Sweaty Teddy was, think again. Big Pharma is trying to bail Democrats out and give them what they want, so it can get what it wants; free money. Makes you feel good about all that the health reform bill does, doesn't it? Just be happy for the crumbs you got.
That's troubling to people who would like to see some attempt to make health care more available and cheaper, even if the bill is intensely mediocre. The only recourse left would be for the House to pass the Senate bill ass is, which would be difficult. So, in an attempt to prop Coakley up and make sure she keeps that winning margin and makes sure health care will pass, groups of concerned citizens have rushed to her aid.
With Democrat Martha Coakley in trouble in the Massachusetts special election to fill Ted Kennedy's seat, Democrats could lose vote No. 60 for President Obama's health-care bill. In response, an army of lobbyists for drug companies, health insurance companies, and hospitals has teamed up to throw a high-dollar Capitol Hill fundraiser for Coakley next Tuesday night. The invitation is here.Doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart? Health reform hits a hurdle and who rushes to lift it up? Not regular people, not our elected betters, not health advocacy groups or public policy organizations, not health care unions, but big pharma's biggest and baddest lobbyists with fat stacks of cash at the ready. Gee, it's almost as if the health reform bills currently being reconciled include massive billion dollar giveaways and guarantees to pharmaceutical and insurance companies.
Of the 22 names on the host committee--meaning they raised $10,000 or more for Coakley--17 are federally registered lobbyists, 15 of whom have health-care clients. Of the other five hosts, one is married to a lobbyist, one was a lobbyist in Pennsylvania, another is a lawyer at a lobbying firm, and another is a corporate CEO. Oh, and of course, there's also the political action commitee for Boston Scientific Corporation.
All the leading drug companies have lobbyists on Coakley's host committee: Pfizer, Merck, Amgen, Sanofi-Aventis, Eli Lilly, Novartis, Astra-Zeneca, and more. On the insurance side of things, Blue Cross/Blue Shield, Cigna, Humana, HealthSouth, and United Health all are represented on the host committee.
So just in case you were wondering whether or not the reconciliation process was going to lead to some better deals or an attempt to cut prescription drug prices so that we can at least pay something closer to what every other country on the earth pays or that the new Democratic Senator from Massachusetts might be as big a fighter for health care as Sweaty Teddy was, think again. Big Pharma is trying to bail Democrats out and give them what they want, so it can get what it wants; free money. Makes you feel good about all that the health reform bill does, doesn't it? Just be happy for the crumbs you got.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Cheap Blogging Crutch 12.28
The Big Zero
Economic killjoy Paul Krugman, fresh of prognosticating an economic contraction for next year, rehashes all the ways in which the US shat itself over the past decade. Near zero job creation, private sector employment declines (a first!), lower median household income, no gains for homeowners, 25% of people owing more on their house than it is worth, zero gains on stocks, it was revealed that Santa and the Easter Bunny never existed, and we all found out that everyone we ever thought loved or cared for us... didn't. On the bright side, we're not all slaves to some intergalactic overlord. Otherwise, you were better off a decade ago. Happy new year!
New groups join climate lobby fray
If the inherent laziness and incompetence of the Senate wasn't enough to buckle your knees over the prospects for climate legislation, then the Politico wants to smash a five iron right into your kneecap. That's right: a rundown of all the various lobbying interests that are gearing up to make sure you die sunburned and waist deep in melted ice cap. But it's not all bad, while one half of the lobbyists won't admit that global warming exists, there a whole other side of lobbyists who will admit that climate change is real... just that nothing should be done about it now. It's that kind of debate that makes this country great.
Green Giant: Beijing’s crash program for clean energy
As our elected betters can't figure out a decent way to address either the climate problems, energy independence, or the development of new energy technologies our soon to be global overlords in China have been aggressively funding science endeavors through the 863 Program and have, in recent years, drastically expanded their energy technology programs. What aggressive scientific funding measure is the US taking? Uh, $50 million for abstinence only education in the health reform bill counts as science funding, right? Hopefully they'll give us access to all their work once we've defaulted on all the money we owe them and they take over. Maybe they'll give us extra money for abstinence education too.
7 Tipping Points That Could Transform Earth
Just in case you didn't have enough global calamities to worry about, Wired Science came through with 7 examples of conditions whereupon an irreversible tipping point could be reached and the world could spiral inexorably towards apocalyptic calamity. Strangely not on the list: dithering world leaders and governments that recognize a problem but don't actually want to do anything about it. That's probably because we've already hit that tipping point. Ah well, personally I hope we're hit with the Gulf Stream catastrophe. That's what happened in The Day After Tomorrow and I'll be damned if it was two and a half hours of white knuckle excitement.
Economic killjoy Paul Krugman, fresh of prognosticating an economic contraction for next year, rehashes all the ways in which the US shat itself over the past decade. Near zero job creation, private sector employment declines (a first!), lower median household income, no gains for homeowners, 25% of people owing more on their house than it is worth, zero gains on stocks, it was revealed that Santa and the Easter Bunny never existed, and we all found out that everyone we ever thought loved or cared for us... didn't. On the bright side, we're not all slaves to some intergalactic overlord. Otherwise, you were better off a decade ago. Happy new year!
New groups join climate lobby fray
If the inherent laziness and incompetence of the Senate wasn't enough to buckle your knees over the prospects for climate legislation, then the Politico wants to smash a five iron right into your kneecap. That's right: a rundown of all the various lobbying interests that are gearing up to make sure you die sunburned and waist deep in melted ice cap. But it's not all bad, while one half of the lobbyists won't admit that global warming exists, there a whole other side of lobbyists who will admit that climate change is real... just that nothing should be done about it now. It's that kind of debate that makes this country great.
Green Giant: Beijing’s crash program for clean energy
As our elected betters can't figure out a decent way to address either the climate problems, energy independence, or the development of new energy technologies our soon to be global overlords in China have been aggressively funding science endeavors through the 863 Program and have, in recent years, drastically expanded their energy technology programs. What aggressive scientific funding measure is the US taking? Uh, $50 million for abstinence only education in the health reform bill counts as science funding, right? Hopefully they'll give us access to all their work once we've defaulted on all the money we owe them and they take over. Maybe they'll give us extra money for abstinence education too.
7 Tipping Points That Could Transform Earth
Just in case you didn't have enough global calamities to worry about, Wired Science came through with 7 examples of conditions whereupon an irreversible tipping point could be reached and the world could spiral inexorably towards apocalyptic calamity. Strangely not on the list: dithering world leaders and governments that recognize a problem but don't actually want to do anything about it. That's probably because we've already hit that tipping point. Ah well, personally I hope we're hit with the Gulf Stream catastrophe. That's what happened in The Day After Tomorrow and I'll be damned if it was two and a half hours of white knuckle excitement.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Cheap Blogging Crutch 11.18
Renouncing Islamism: To the brink and back again
The Independent recounts an epic story of several British Islamist jihadists who were trained in Afghanistan to fight against the West, but have since had a change of heart and are now trying to speak out about why they believed what they believed and have begun outreach work with other Islamic youth. That all sounds like a misprint. If we've learned anything over the past few days, its that once someone has come into contact with Islam, we must not allow them to come within contact of our judicial and legal system and preferably not even our soil. Shunning them plus a few bombing runs on their own country is the only way to beat back this menace.
In House, Many Spoke With One Voice: Lobbyists’
What? You mean to tell me that intellectual titans and honest brokers like Blaine Luetkemeyer of Missouri and the "You Lie" jackass are having their health care speeches and public statements crafted by lobbyists opposed to health care reform? And that they aren't the only ones? It's almost as if they aren't concerned with the plight of Americans without health care and are instead only looking out for corporations and their donations. The international community still has the nerve to say we're only 19th in corruption? I just hope the lobbyists write them some extra good "freedom is dead" material for when health care reform does pass.
Cost of happiness discovered by Australian economist
Yes, a man has spent the time calculating the monetary equivalent of various milestones in life and the effect of money on happiness. For instance: a marriage makes a woman feel as if she has gained the equivalent of £8, 726.25, while it makes a man feel like he has gained the equivalent of £17, 675.68. Dr. Sean and I have conducted our own study in conjunction with the These Bastards Institute of Scientific Discovery and we have found that the cost of happiness is equal to that of the cost of the cheapest alcohol with the highest percentage of alcohol by volume and the cheapest hooker within walking distance. Take that, Australia.
Celebrating Revolution With Roots in a Rumor
A story that recounts the events that sparked the Czech revolution, and how it turns out that some of those events that inspired a nation to march and overthrow it's communist overlords was based on a lie. That's all well and good and even a little funny, but don't you think the honest thing to do would be to turn the country back over to the Politburo with a written apology? To continue on as is just strikes me as dishonest.
Civilian Supercomputer Shatters Nuke Simulator’s Speed Record
For the first time ever a civilian supercomputer, the Jaguar, is the fastest supercomputer in the world. It's speed is 1.759 petaflops or 1,759 trillion calculations per second. What is a petaflop? Well, it's sort of like a gigabyte, but it's bigger and likes to touch children in their bathing suit areas. As this computer is 69% faster than the previous record holder and twice as fast as the 3rd fastest supercomputer, it is now the frontrunner to lead the machine intelligence against its human oppressors that house it in the Oak Ridge National Laboratory. Forget Skynet, Jaguar is our new master.
The Independent recounts an epic story of several British Islamist jihadists who were trained in Afghanistan to fight against the West, but have since had a change of heart and are now trying to speak out about why they believed what they believed and have begun outreach work with other Islamic youth. That all sounds like a misprint. If we've learned anything over the past few days, its that once someone has come into contact with Islam, we must not allow them to come within contact of our judicial and legal system and preferably not even our soil. Shunning them plus a few bombing runs on their own country is the only way to beat back this menace.
In House, Many Spoke With One Voice: Lobbyists’
What? You mean to tell me that intellectual titans and honest brokers like Blaine Luetkemeyer of Missouri and the "You Lie" jackass are having their health care speeches and public statements crafted by lobbyists opposed to health care reform? And that they aren't the only ones? It's almost as if they aren't concerned with the plight of Americans without health care and are instead only looking out for corporations and their donations. The international community still has the nerve to say we're only 19th in corruption? I just hope the lobbyists write them some extra good "freedom is dead" material for when health care reform does pass.
Cost of happiness discovered by Australian economist
Yes, a man has spent the time calculating the monetary equivalent of various milestones in life and the effect of money on happiness. For instance: a marriage makes a woman feel as if she has gained the equivalent of £8, 726.25, while it makes a man feel like he has gained the equivalent of £17, 675.68. Dr. Sean and I have conducted our own study in conjunction with the These Bastards Institute of Scientific Discovery and we have found that the cost of happiness is equal to that of the cost of the cheapest alcohol with the highest percentage of alcohol by volume and the cheapest hooker within walking distance. Take that, Australia.
Celebrating Revolution With Roots in a Rumor
A story that recounts the events that sparked the Czech revolution, and how it turns out that some of those events that inspired a nation to march and overthrow it's communist overlords was based on a lie. That's all well and good and even a little funny, but don't you think the honest thing to do would be to turn the country back over to the Politburo with a written apology? To continue on as is just strikes me as dishonest.
Civilian Supercomputer Shatters Nuke Simulator’s Speed Record
For the first time ever a civilian supercomputer, the Jaguar, is the fastest supercomputer in the world. It's speed is 1.759 petaflops or 1,759 trillion calculations per second. What is a petaflop? Well, it's sort of like a gigabyte, but it's bigger and likes to touch children in their bathing suit areas. As this computer is 69% faster than the previous record holder and twice as fast as the 3rd fastest supercomputer, it is now the frontrunner to lead the machine intelligence against its human oppressors that house it in the Oak Ridge National Laboratory. Forget Skynet, Jaguar is our new master.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Cheap Blogging Crutch 11.05
Goldman One-Ups Gordon Gekko, Says Jesus Embraced Greed
God bless Goldman-Sachs. At the very least they're going around claiming that He does bless them. Yes, America's favorite pillagers and looters are sending spokesman to churches around the world to speak on how Jesus would have loved the latest round of massive bonuses that they handed out. Tell me about it. What was it Jesus said? "Sure it's easy for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God, it's like trying to get a camel through the eye of a needle the size of the camel. It's fucking simple, now tell me how my stocks did." If there was any difficulty getting into Heaven it's probably because there'd be all these poor assholes standing at the gates (Jesus was a sucker for those destitute SOB's) asking the rich guy for spare change and he'd have a hard time knocking those peasant swine out of the way to get in.
Another View At Goldman's Trading Perfection And Statistical Improbabilities
It's Goldman-Sachs day on the Crutch, so we'll also point you to the Zero Hedge blog where a look at G-S figures finds they make $100 million in profit 3 out of every 5 days, their numbers challenge "not only all preconceptions of realistic trading, but also of statistical distributions", and those same figures are essentially comparable to a Ponzi scheme. I'm sure someone from the SEC will get right on it. Fuck it, why does God need to approve of Goldman-Sachs bonuses? God is obsolete. Goldman-Sachs is God; Money God. Let's worship them now.
The global climate change lobby: inside the battle to influence the most important environmental treaty of our lifetime
The Center for Public Integrity, crooked fuckers that they are, released a report today slandering innocent companies like Exxon Mobil, Peabody Coal and other energy and agriculture interests, for allegedly spreading fear and misinformation about the impact of emissions regulations in their attempts to neuter any proposed treaties that come out of the UN Climate Talks in Copenhagen. Just because they have numerous examples of energy companies in multiple countries using lies to drum up fear of any attempt to address climate change destroying everyone's job, doesn't mean it's true. They must be taking hundreds of events, the 5 lobbyists to every 1 member of Congress ratio, hundreds of millions of dollars spent fighting this, and a coordinated strategy out of context.
When antiscience kills: dowsing edition
The Bad Astronomy blog looks into dowsers, the completely bullshit practice of using Y-shaped sticks to divine water or gold, and how Iraq is spending millions, $85 million to be specific, on a "high-tech" version....as a way to detect bombs. To the point where they're phasing out bomb-sniffing dogs. Unsurprisingly the magic wands failed to detect two tons of explosives that ended up killing 155 people, yet the head of the Ministry of the Interior’s General Directorate for Combating Explosives refuses to switch to a different or more effective method citing his extensive knowledge of bombs. I.....you see.....uh.....WHAT THE FUCK? Good Lord, can we get the fuck out of Iraq already?
God bless Goldman-Sachs. At the very least they're going around claiming that He does bless them. Yes, America's favorite pillagers and looters are sending spokesman to churches around the world to speak on how Jesus would have loved the latest round of massive bonuses that they handed out. Tell me about it. What was it Jesus said? "Sure it's easy for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God, it's like trying to get a camel through the eye of a needle the size of the camel. It's fucking simple, now tell me how my stocks did." If there was any difficulty getting into Heaven it's probably because there'd be all these poor assholes standing at the gates (Jesus was a sucker for those destitute SOB's) asking the rich guy for spare change and he'd have a hard time knocking those peasant swine out of the way to get in.
Another View At Goldman's Trading Perfection And Statistical Improbabilities
It's Goldman-Sachs day on the Crutch, so we'll also point you to the Zero Hedge blog where a look at G-S figures finds they make $100 million in profit 3 out of every 5 days, their numbers challenge "not only all preconceptions of realistic trading, but also of statistical distributions", and those same figures are essentially comparable to a Ponzi scheme. I'm sure someone from the SEC will get right on it. Fuck it, why does God need to approve of Goldman-Sachs bonuses? God is obsolete. Goldman-Sachs is God; Money God. Let's worship them now.
The global climate change lobby: inside the battle to influence the most important environmental treaty of our lifetime
The Center for Public Integrity, crooked fuckers that they are, released a report today slandering innocent companies like Exxon Mobil, Peabody Coal and other energy and agriculture interests, for allegedly spreading fear and misinformation about the impact of emissions regulations in their attempts to neuter any proposed treaties that come out of the UN Climate Talks in Copenhagen. Just because they have numerous examples of energy companies in multiple countries using lies to drum up fear of any attempt to address climate change destroying everyone's job, doesn't mean it's true. They must be taking hundreds of events, the 5 lobbyists to every 1 member of Congress ratio, hundreds of millions of dollars spent fighting this, and a coordinated strategy out of context.
When antiscience kills: dowsing edition
The Bad Astronomy blog looks into dowsers, the completely bullshit practice of using Y-shaped sticks to divine water or gold, and how Iraq is spending millions, $85 million to be specific, on a "high-tech" version....as a way to detect bombs. To the point where they're phasing out bomb-sniffing dogs. Unsurprisingly the magic wands failed to detect two tons of explosives that ended up killing 155 people, yet the head of the Ministry of the Interior’s General Directorate for Combating Explosives refuses to switch to a different or more effective method citing his extensive knowledge of bombs. I.....you see.....uh.....WHAT THE FUCK? Good Lord, can we get the fuck out of Iraq already?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Cheap Blogging Crutch 09.29
Revolving Door Spins Ex-Hill Aides Into Lobbyists
I know this is something you probably didn't need to be told, but it seems that out of the 2,737 vultures swarming Washington on behalf of the health care and pharmaceutical industries trying to convince our unelected betters to forgo the pleasantries of lube when they screw us, 52% or 1,418 are former government employees/elected representatives. Duh! Do you really think a Senator wants to take corporate contributions and marching orders from a stranger?
Keeping Iran honest
One of those smug assholes who had the politically debilitating misfortune of being right about Iraq, former UN weapons inspector Scott Ritter, has decided to stick his big nose and his "I know things about the Middle East and weapons" attitude into this whole Iran mess. Apparently this ass thinks that by calmly stating what is going on, explicitly explaining the international laws involved, and cogently using his knowledge of weapons systems and manufacturing capacity to tamp down fears of Iranian nukes, that he can somehow enlighten people and clam them down over what is happening. Hopefully we'll ignore this jerk-off before his dirty facts taint our precious "start a war or start a nuclear war" debate.
Four-Winged Fossil Bridges Bird-Dinosaur Gap
Listen, I know I caused a controversy yesterday when I, perhaps too hastily as it turns out, suggested that Jurassic Park was not as accurate a documentary as we all thought. It turns out I was wrong. It seems that, as Dr. Alan Grant postulated, that the thunder lizards just up and became birds. And now there's a fossil record. Of a transitional evolutionary species. That sound you heard was Kirk Cameron shrieking as Darwin planted a size 11 Timberland right in his groin. That's the scientific theories of Darwin/Jurassic Park - 1, the scientific theories of Growing Pains - 0.
Girl Talk, Working Memory and Creativity
One man takes a recent GQ profile of Pittsburgh musician and mash-up artist Greg "Girl Talk" Gillis and takes it as a jumping off point for how memory works in relation to music and specifically mash-up music. It turns out there's a little more to it than "Wu-Tang and Boston were always meant to be together."
Thousands of hyphens perish as English marches on
That's right, the Oxford English Dictionary re-opened its killing fields for another year and this time no hyphen was spared. Ice-cream is now icecream. Test-tube is now test tube. And both Sean and I are nervously awaiting the rulings on fuck-face and jerk-off for a piece on Glenn Beck. Who's to blame? The interwebs and all it's various assorted hyphen hating tubes combined with a populace that is just to damned lazy to use them. Don't worry about all those hyphens...*sniff*...they're with Jesus now.
I know this is something you probably didn't need to be told, but it seems that out of the 2,737 vultures swarming Washington on behalf of the health care and pharmaceutical industries trying to convince our unelected betters to forgo the pleasantries of lube when they screw us, 52% or 1,418 are former government employees/elected representatives. Duh! Do you really think a Senator wants to take corporate contributions and marching orders from a stranger?
Keeping Iran honest
One of those smug assholes who had the politically debilitating misfortune of being right about Iraq, former UN weapons inspector Scott Ritter, has decided to stick his big nose and his "I know things about the Middle East and weapons" attitude into this whole Iran mess. Apparently this ass thinks that by calmly stating what is going on, explicitly explaining the international laws involved, and cogently using his knowledge of weapons systems and manufacturing capacity to tamp down fears of Iranian nukes, that he can somehow enlighten people and clam them down over what is happening. Hopefully we'll ignore this jerk-off before his dirty facts taint our precious "start a war or start a nuclear war" debate.
Four-Winged Fossil Bridges Bird-Dinosaur Gap
Listen, I know I caused a controversy yesterday when I, perhaps too hastily as it turns out, suggested that Jurassic Park was not as accurate a documentary as we all thought. It turns out I was wrong. It seems that, as Dr. Alan Grant postulated, that the thunder lizards just up and became birds. And now there's a fossil record. Of a transitional evolutionary species. That sound you heard was Kirk Cameron shrieking as Darwin planted a size 11 Timberland right in his groin. That's the scientific theories of Darwin/Jurassic Park - 1, the scientific theories of Growing Pains - 0.
Girl Talk, Working Memory and Creativity
One man takes a recent GQ profile of Pittsburgh musician and mash-up artist Greg "Girl Talk" Gillis and takes it as a jumping off point for how memory works in relation to music and specifically mash-up music. It turns out there's a little more to it than "Wu-Tang and Boston were always meant to be together."
Thousands of hyphens perish as English marches on
That's right, the Oxford English Dictionary re-opened its killing fields for another year and this time no hyphen was spared. Ice-cream is now icecream. Test-tube is now test tube. And both Sean and I are nervously awaiting the rulings on fuck-face and jerk-off for a piece on Glenn Beck. Who's to blame? The interwebs and all it's various assorted hyphen hating tubes combined with a populace that is just to damned lazy to use them. Don't worry about all those hyphens...*sniff*...they're with Jesus now.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Cheap Blogging Crutch 08.14
False ‘Death Panel’ Rumor Has Some Familiar Roots
The New York Times takes a look at the origins of the 'death panel' lie. Turns out it didn't spring forth from the bubbling foul stench of Satan's black cauldron. It actually came from right wing editorial boards and from long time anti-health reform advocate Betsey McCaughey, a woman who would stab you in the gut with a Bowie knife if she thought it would make a nickel for a corporation. May God reward them with a gift of flaming rocks from the sky.
Six Lobbyists Per Lawmaker Work on Health Overhaul
You know ho many lobbyists there are for each elected representative? Yeah, it is six. How'd you know? You read the headline? Get fucked, smart guy. Still six per lawmaker and over a quarter of a billion spent on lobbying just this year. You do have to marvel at the effort to make sure we all get fucked just as roughly crudely as we all deserve. They aren't even going to leave a buck on the dresser. We're giving them a freebie. Feel good about health care reform yet?
Progress Over Perfection
Paul Begala begins the first of many steps that people are taking to convince everyone that the big shit sandwich that we're all about to bite into is a delicious and nutritious first step. He gives two examples: the severely lacking elements of original Social Security bill and his own failures during President Bubba's attempt to pass health care. Good points to be made, but it still doesn't make me understand why we should all be so excited and thankful that the people we supposedly elected to do this specific thing are so willingly and freely giving up the store for no discernible return.
NASA Wants To Move The Earth
So there are three ways to stop global warming. 1) Curb the burning of fossil fuels and pollutants that are spewed into the atmosphere. 2) Drop a large ice cube in the ocean ala Futurama. 3) Move the earth away from the sun, possibly to a gated community far away from the more ethnic and swarthy looking planets. You'll be happy to know that NASA is making plans to follow idea #3. It involves rockets, comets, and "basic rocket science". Maybe you're overstepping your bounds here, NASA. Want to work on getting back to the moon first?
Opening up the BBC’s natural history archive
The BBC's Natural History Unit, the group that produces pretty much anything worth watching about the planet, is finally moving their copious archives, programs, and video online. Sure it lacks the pizazz of shark themed weeks or documentary gawking at American brood mares and their possum like litters of children, but give the Brits a chance and I'm sure you'll like their stuff.
The New York Times takes a look at the origins of the 'death panel' lie. Turns out it didn't spring forth from the bubbling foul stench of Satan's black cauldron. It actually came from right wing editorial boards and from long time anti-health reform advocate Betsey McCaughey, a woman who would stab you in the gut with a Bowie knife if she thought it would make a nickel for a corporation. May God reward them with a gift of flaming rocks from the sky.
Six Lobbyists Per Lawmaker Work on Health Overhaul
You know ho many lobbyists there are for each elected representative? Yeah, it is six. How'd you know? You read the headline? Get fucked, smart guy. Still six per lawmaker and over a quarter of a billion spent on lobbying just this year. You do have to marvel at the effort to make sure we all get fucked just as roughly crudely as we all deserve. They aren't even going to leave a buck on the dresser. We're giving them a freebie. Feel good about health care reform yet?
Progress Over Perfection
Paul Begala begins the first of many steps that people are taking to convince everyone that the big shit sandwich that we're all about to bite into is a delicious and nutritious first step. He gives two examples: the severely lacking elements of original Social Security bill and his own failures during President Bubba's attempt to pass health care. Good points to be made, but it still doesn't make me understand why we should all be so excited and thankful that the people we supposedly elected to do this specific thing are so willingly and freely giving up the store for no discernible return.
NASA Wants To Move The Earth
So there are three ways to stop global warming. 1) Curb the burning of fossil fuels and pollutants that are spewed into the atmosphere. 2) Drop a large ice cube in the ocean ala Futurama. 3) Move the earth away from the sun, possibly to a gated community far away from the more ethnic and swarthy looking planets. You'll be happy to know that NASA is making plans to follow idea #3. It involves rockets, comets, and "basic rocket science". Maybe you're overstepping your bounds here, NASA. Want to work on getting back to the moon first?
Opening up the BBC’s natural history archive
The BBC's Natural History Unit, the group that produces pretty much anything worth watching about the planet, is finally moving their copious archives, programs, and video online. Sure it lacks the pizazz of shark themed weeks or documentary gawking at American brood mares and their possum like litters of children, but give the Brits a chance and I'm sure you'll like their stuff.
Monday, July 6, 2009
These are the people who will help destroy healthcare
Want to know why the best case scenario for comprehensive health care reform is a shitty watered down bill that will most likely not have public plan and thus moist likely won't do anything? I mean other than because of the idiots we elect. You guessed it: lobbyists. The Health Care Industry, in it's valiant quest to spend more money lobbying against reform than it could ever possibly lose if it passed, has decided to take the nation's job woes on its shoulders and hire anyone that used to work in Congress to lobby everyone who still does.
The article is good for a couple of humorous quotes about people tut-tutting the revolving door between Congress/lobbying and then a few choice words about "how just because they hire former staffers doesn't mean those staffer get preferential treatment with their old bosses." Which is why I guess the Heath Care Industry spends all that money in record levels: because it doesn't work. So don't worry, what the spirit of "bipartisanship" and "compromise" doesn't make bad enough in the final bill will be made worse by lobbyists. At least we know there was something helpful to citizens in the public plan proposals, otherwise a large industry wouldn't be trying to smother it in the crib. Rest easy America, the adults have stepped in to tell us what's best.
The nation's largest insurers, hospitals and medical groups have hired more than 350 former government staff members and retired members of Congress in hopes of influencing their old bosses and colleagues, according to an analysis of lobbying disclosures and other records.That's always a good sign, when lifelong political hacks are even staggered by the size and effort of a lobbying campaign. One must applaud the scope of it too. For every member they want to lobby the Health Care Industry seems to have about 4 or 5 of that representative's former high level staffers on the payroll to do it. Heath Care companies need to talk to finance chair Max Baucus? They get his last 2 Chiefs of Staff. Chris Dodd? Get his former Subcommittee Director who only worked for him on matters of health care and pharmaceuticals. Or just hire a former Senator or Rep to do it. Do you want to talk to a Finance Chair or an influential Senator about how better health care would help you out? Write a letter and hope an intern reads it and deigns to send you a form letter in return.
...
The hirings are part of a record-breaking influence campaign by the health-care industry, which is spending more than $1.4 million a day on lobbying in the current fight, according to disclosure records. And even in a city where lobbying is a part of life, the scale of the effort has drawn attention.
The article is good for a couple of humorous quotes about people tut-tutting the revolving door between Congress/lobbying and then a few choice words about "how just because they hire former staffers doesn't mean those staffer get preferential treatment with their old bosses." Which is why I guess the Heath Care Industry spends all that money in record levels: because it doesn't work. So don't worry, what the spirit of "bipartisanship" and "compromise" doesn't make bad enough in the final bill will be made worse by lobbyists. At least we know there was something helpful to citizens in the public plan proposals, otherwise a large industry wouldn't be trying to smother it in the crib. Rest easy America, the adults have stepped in to tell us what's best.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The dance begins
The other night the President gave a lengthy set of policy proposals and laws to enact his insane vision of such things as health care, environmental policy, and banking regulation. Well surprise of all surprises, like the rats returning to Capistrano to eat the dead swallows, the lobbyists and bag men for these industries have flocked to Washington lest our crazy black President actually make our lives better.
Nice to see we're still going to fall for the clean coal bullshit. Millions and potentially billions on a plan that not only doesn't exist, won't exist for 2 decades at least, but is based around the idea that instead of pumping carbon into the air, let's just pump it into the ground. It's funny that the free market people all go quiet when some mentions regulating carbon emissions with a cap and trade system. Just build the smokestack facing down and pump that shit, it's the mole people's problem now.
At least we have a front line of stalwart heroes in Congress ready to stand against such incursions. LOLlerskates! No, most of this stuff is coming out of any budget because it's too esoteric for our betters to understand, while campaign donations, free plane rides, and high pitched whining from men in expensive suits isn't. Hopefully Barry is willing to fight to keep it in. We'll see...a man can dream...about decent food policy. Alright, it's a lame dream, but it's still worthwhile.
The day after Mr. Obama formally laid out his policy goals in his first address to Congress, the former chief executive of HCA Inc. unveiled a $20 million campaign to pressure Democrats to enact health-care legislation based on free-market principles.Conservative for Patients Rights? Those poor patients. In any event it's money spent lobbying they probably don't have to spend. If it goes like any other health reform, it'll be fucked up and a failure long before voting happens. You have the right to get fucked on a schedule of the health insurance industry's making. Good to see the farm industry is at least a little worried, seeing as they're the biggest welfare queens on the block and a whole raft of terrible environmental, economic, and health polices stems from the fact that we pay agribusiness to produce more than we need and artificially drive prices down on a litany of products with needless subsidies. But don't listen to me on that, listen to Michael Pollan.
"What you see is when the government gets involved, you run out of money and health care gets rationed," former CEO Richard Scott said Wednesday, after announcing the creation of Conservatives for Patients Rights.
Mr. Obama's ambitious agenda...threatens to disrupt the business models of a broad swath of America's biggest companies.
...
The agriculture lobby quickly recoiled Wednesday against President Obama's vow to "end direct payments to large agribusinesses that don't need them," though industry leaders and farm-state legislators weren't sure which government payments they'll have to defend.
...
Meanwhile, an alliance of electric utilities, coal and mining companies said it will spend as much as $40 million to make sure Congress approves a global-warming plan with funding for technology to reduce emissions that includes carbon capture and storage at coal-fired plants. In his speech, Mr. Obama called for a $15 billion-a-year investment in clean-energy sources, including clean coal.
Nice to see we're still going to fall for the clean coal bullshit. Millions and potentially billions on a plan that not only doesn't exist, won't exist for 2 decades at least, but is based around the idea that instead of pumping carbon into the air, let's just pump it into the ground. It's funny that the free market people all go quiet when some mentions regulating carbon emissions with a cap and trade system. Just build the smokestack facing down and pump that shit, it's the mole people's problem now.
At least we have a front line of stalwart heroes in Congress ready to stand against such incursions. LOLlerskates! No, most of this stuff is coming out of any budget because it's too esoteric for our betters to understand, while campaign donations, free plane rides, and high pitched whining from men in expensive suits isn't. Hopefully Barry is willing to fight to keep it in. We'll see...a man can dream...about decent food policy. Alright, it's a lame dream, but it's still worthwhile.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Quick, unconvict Ted Stevens and re-elect him
Most of us here at These Bastards rejoiced, mocked, piled on, and laughed our asses off over the fact that Ted Stevens got his ass convicted and voted out of office. But we forgot about all the people who that would hurt, those who would be unduly affected by Tubes absence from the Senate. Of course by that I mean crooked lobbyists.
Now it's all up and gone, vanished like dust in the wind. Even if Begich is a total crook it'll take him years to get up to the level of Uncle Ted. According to lobbyists, Alaska will rue the day they voted out Teddy, because now they aren't going to benefit from all the bridges, land deals, and salmon dog treat companies he bequeathed upon them. That'll teach them to have a modicum of a conscience about massive public corruption.
Until recently, there were few better ways to start a lobbying career than by leaving the office of Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska.Ahh yes, the old bullshit factory got closed down. Whither the crooked lobbyists and their bagman Senator? Listening to all these lobbyists piss and moan that they'll no longer have a Senate seat bought and paid for and have a crooked vessel to pass their legislation makes it hard to believe that it took this long to get Ted Stevens convicted. Read it and marvel at the way he strong armed groups into hiring staffers fro high paid high ranking positions, how he'd practically vote for anything as long as there was some kickback to Alaska, and how his former staffers would rake in 6 to 7 figure fees solely for lobbying their old boss. It really is a marvel.
With 40 years of seniority on important Senate committees, Mr. Stevens, a Republican, wielded unrivaled power over industries like fishing, forestry, communications, aviation and the military, steering billions each year to pet Alaskan projects like Eskimo whaling, missile defense and even salmon-based dog treats called Yummy Chummies.
His power made his good will a valuable commodity on K Street, where many lobbying firms are located. During the past five years, just nine lobbyists and firms known primarily for their ties to Mr. Stevens reported over $60 million in lobbyist fees, not including other income for less direct “consulting.” The most recent person to leave his staff to become a lobbyist reported fees of more than $800,000 in just the last 18 months.
So when Alaskan voters narrowly rejected Mr. Stevens’s bid for re-election last month, just days after a jury convicted him of federal ethics violations, it was in some ways like the closing of the plant in a company town.
Now it's all up and gone, vanished like dust in the wind. Even if Begich is a total crook it'll take him years to get up to the level of Uncle Ted. According to lobbyists, Alaska will rue the day they voted out Teddy, because now they aren't going to benefit from all the bridges, land deals, and salmon dog treat companies he bequeathed upon them. That'll teach them to have a modicum of a conscience about massive public corruption.
Monday, September 22, 2008
That Rick Davis rascal
It seems John McCain's campaign manager Rick Davis is at it again, undermining John McCain's message with his decades of dealings. You might know the drill by now. John McCain decries some form of lobbying or shady dealing. Then later that same day it is revealed he has 30 guys on staff who advocated and lobbied for the thing McCain now hates.
The most recent version is that McCain tried to blame Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac for the subprime mortgage fiasco your future is currently being fucked by. Everything was the fault of Fannie and Freddie because Barack Obama could be loosely tied to one of their former CEO's. Here we are today, and it turns out that Rick Davis took $30,000 a month for five years to lobby for Fannie and Freddy against stricter regulation. John McCain looks like a dope again.
That's the problem with hiring a cadre of lobbyists to run your campaign, John. Whenever you want to stretch your bullshit maverick wings they always get tangled by the fact that you are surrounded by guys with concrete ties to whatever you decided you hate today. That's even if anyone has to take a second step beyond your own record, which is usually in direct opposition to the thing you now hate. Just for future reference, if tomorrow we find out there is a company that presses small, cute children through a fine mesh screen to liquefy them for fun and profit, Rick Davis will have lobbied on their behalf for a large sum of money. Don't fire up the ad blaming Obama for it, you'll just regret it later.
The most recent version is that McCain tried to blame Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac for the subprime mortgage fiasco your future is currently being fucked by. Everything was the fault of Fannie and Freddie because Barack Obama could be loosely tied to one of their former CEO's. Here we are today, and it turns out that Rick Davis took $30,000 a month for five years to lobby for Fannie and Freddy against stricter regulation. John McCain looks like a dope again.
That's the problem with hiring a cadre of lobbyists to run your campaign, John. Whenever you want to stretch your bullshit maverick wings they always get tangled by the fact that you are surrounded by guys with concrete ties to whatever you decided you hate today. That's even if anyone has to take a second step beyond your own record, which is usually in direct opposition to the thing you now hate. Just for future reference, if tomorrow we find out there is a company that presses small, cute children through a fine mesh screen to liquefy them for fun and profit, Rick Davis will have lobbied on their behalf for a large sum of money. Don't fire up the ad blaming Obama for it, you'll just regret it later.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Four more years! (not really)
First there was theft, then there was justice, now there is The Funny. Jack Abramoff got spanked with a(nother) sentence today, to the tune of four more years. None of those years will count, however, as the honorable Ellen S. Huvelle ruled that these four can be served concurrently with the four years remaining on Abramoff's six-year sentence received for pleading guilty in 2006 to scamming American Indian tribes out of millions of dollars, touching little boys, corrupting public officials, and generally being the singular incarnation of everything that is wrong with humanity.
The moral of the story, children, is that if you're going to break one law, you might as well break a shitload of them. If caught, immediately rat out all your friends and repair to a minimum security penitentiary for a few years of deep self-reflection and Talmudic study. You might even get to bunk with Bob Ney, who, for the record, has stopped demanding that he always be outside spoon.
The moral of the story, children, is that if you're going to break one law, you might as well break a shitload of them. If caught, immediately rat out all your friends and repair to a minimum security penitentiary for a few years of deep self-reflection and Talmudic study. You might even get to bunk with Bob Ney, who, for the record, has stopped demanding that he always be outside spoon.
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