Sunday, June 29, 2008

Damn these common everyday problems

The candidate, moments before shambling over to a child and devouring the sweet, sweet flesh of the innocent.

You know that common problem we all have? Where we own so many houses that we just up and forget to pay the taxes on one of them? John McCain has that problem too.

You know when you're out running for President and you haven't been in a car without a chauffeur for years? You haven't even been able to drive yourself to your wife's private jet. You know how it gets the point where you don't even know what the price of gas despite it being one of the largest issues in the political campaign and after you just spent a whole week coming up with childish, pandering "solutions" to how oil companies could violently extract cash and jewels through our collective assholes? John McCain has that problem too.

Remember how you don't know how to use a computer, but to prove your hip and "with it" attitude you proclaim your knowldge of what "a google" and "the google" is? John McCain has that problem too.

Remember the millionaire heiress wife you married? John McCain does, and he'll see you and Clint at Bushwood for tee times.

So when any of those dirty leftist Defeatocrats try to remind you that he's an elitist, you just remember that John McCain is just like you. The black guy who was raised in poverty by his single mother is the elitist. NOT MCCAIN.

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