Best victory since Harvard beat Yale 29-29.
Showing posts with label new york post. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new york post. Show all posts
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Stay classy, New York Post
Maybe you watch Dancing With the Stars and already knew this, but Professional singer and dancer Nicole Scherzinger beat Olympic Ice skating gold medalist Evan Lysacek for the prestigious crown. Yes, a show that is ostensibly about celebrities making asses out of themselves and learning to dance effectively had a final three (including ESPN reporter and former college cheerleader and Florida Gator dance team member Erin Andrews) that basically comprised three people that were as close to professional dancers as they could possibly be. Yeah, I bitter about the competitive purity of celebrity dance competitions. Whatever.
How do you think the New York Post decided to announce the pop singer beating the skating champion?
Get it? Because all male figure skaters are giant homos. Hilarious. Nicely played. I'm sure it beats your original headline of "Jiggle tits beats faaaaaaaaaaaaag". Stay classy, Post.
How do you think the New York Post decided to announce the pop singer beating the skating champion?
Get it? Because all male figure skaters are giant homos. Hilarious. Nicely played. I'm sure it beats your original headline of "Jiggle tits beats faaaaaaaaaaaaag". Stay classy, Post.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Cheap Blogging Crutch 11.10
Glenn Beck loses 'raped and murdered' arbitration
In a strike for first amendment rights, comedy, and questions over whether or not Glenn Beck did rape and murder a young girl in 1990, the World Intellectual Property Organization ruled that is was well within the rights of satire to ask question about what Glenn Beck may or may not have done to that poor girl on a dark day in 1990. Good thing Beck sued, otherwise this story wouldn't have blown up into a huge internet meme. Maybe next time he'll try to hush up his raping/murdering (alleged) a little better.
Teacher Claims Fingerprinting Is ‘Mark of the Beast’
Sweet Jesus Texas, I'd sell you back to Mexico if they'd take you. Yes Texas, where an evangelical schoolteacher is suing the state over a law that requires her to give fingerprints as part of her teaching permanent record. Why is she afraid? Did she rape and murder a young girl in 1990? No, fingerprinting is the "mark of the beast" that Satan will use to blah blah blah. Not so much the fingerprints or the ink and paper, though those a good candidates for the Devil, no the mark of the beast is the computer hard drive that stores those fingerprints. What are you willing to bet she teaches science?
NASA on a crusade to debunk 2012 apocalypse myths
Since NASA doesn't have anything better to do, like fly space missions or go to the moon, they've taken to cobbling together their nickels in an attempt to drill reality into conspiracy theorists heads that a giant hidden planet called Nibiru isn't going to smash into the Earth in 2012 and the Mayans didn't know dick. Because nothing convinces conspiracy theorists like hard science, facts, and evidence from a government organization. As a last ditch effort NASA is planning on locking these people into a screening of the film 2012. Then, when the horror is over, mockingly ask them "Seriously, that's what you fucking believe in? John Cusack outwitting the earth in a limo?" Shame and the forced viewing of a terrible movie is the only way these people will learn.
FBI Interrogators Argued in 2002 That ‘Enhanced’ Interrogation Techniques Were Illegal and Ineffective
Well what do you fucking know, the FBI knew what pretty much everyone else knew about "enhanced interrogation": that it didn't work, led to false confessions, and violated a myriad of US and International laws. But, of course, they're only the FBI, so what the fuck do they know? Not as much as Dick Cheney, the Pentagon, and the CIA, that's for sure. Still though, I find it hard to believe that the Bush Administration deliberately ignored the opinions of the best trained and most experienced people in the government about interrogations. That just doesn't seem plausible. I'm sure they never got the memo. That must be why they had to torture.
What's 'V' really about?
Were you curious about the new show "V", but didn't think you could plausibly graft a conspiratorial right wing theory about Obama and health care onto the plot? Well you aren't as smart as the New York Post. I don't know if I should trust the Post on this one. I mean if it was this obvious, shouldn't Glenn Beck have sniffed this one out and shouldn't the pilot at least have inspired a few tea bagger signs at the Super Bowl of Freedom? It's a shame that Obama's government issue, appendix eating nanobots have sidelined him or Beck would have had this all diagrammed out on a chalkboard by now. Until then, I'll just avoid it until half a season has passed and we can all be sure that it isn't harboring a liberal agendas, like all TV.
In a strike for first amendment rights, comedy, and questions over whether or not Glenn Beck did rape and murder a young girl in 1990, the World Intellectual Property Organization ruled that is was well within the rights of satire to ask question about what Glenn Beck may or may not have done to that poor girl on a dark day in 1990. Good thing Beck sued, otherwise this story wouldn't have blown up into a huge internet meme. Maybe next time he'll try to hush up his raping/murdering (alleged) a little better.
Teacher Claims Fingerprinting Is ‘Mark of the Beast’
Sweet Jesus Texas, I'd sell you back to Mexico if they'd take you. Yes Texas, where an evangelical schoolteacher is suing the state over a law that requires her to give fingerprints as part of her teaching permanent record. Why is she afraid? Did she rape and murder a young girl in 1990? No, fingerprinting is the "mark of the beast" that Satan will use to blah blah blah. Not so much the fingerprints or the ink and paper, though those a good candidates for the Devil, no the mark of the beast is the computer hard drive that stores those fingerprints. What are you willing to bet she teaches science?
NASA on a crusade to debunk 2012 apocalypse myths
Since NASA doesn't have anything better to do, like fly space missions or go to the moon, they've taken to cobbling together their nickels in an attempt to drill reality into conspiracy theorists heads that a giant hidden planet called Nibiru isn't going to smash into the Earth in 2012 and the Mayans didn't know dick. Because nothing convinces conspiracy theorists like hard science, facts, and evidence from a government organization. As a last ditch effort NASA is planning on locking these people into a screening of the film 2012. Then, when the horror is over, mockingly ask them "Seriously, that's what you fucking believe in? John Cusack outwitting the earth in a limo?" Shame and the forced viewing of a terrible movie is the only way these people will learn.
FBI Interrogators Argued in 2002 That ‘Enhanced’ Interrogation Techniques Were Illegal and Ineffective
Well what do you fucking know, the FBI knew what pretty much everyone else knew about "enhanced interrogation": that it didn't work, led to false confessions, and violated a myriad of US and International laws. But, of course, they're only the FBI, so what the fuck do they know? Not as much as Dick Cheney, the Pentagon, and the CIA, that's for sure. Still though, I find it hard to believe that the Bush Administration deliberately ignored the opinions of the best trained and most experienced people in the government about interrogations. That just doesn't seem plausible. I'm sure they never got the memo. That must be why they had to torture.
What's 'V' really about?
Were you curious about the new show "V", but didn't think you could plausibly graft a conspiratorial right wing theory about Obama and health care onto the plot? Well you aren't as smart as the New York Post. I don't know if I should trust the Post on this one. I mean if it was this obvious, shouldn't Glenn Beck have sniffed this one out and shouldn't the pilot at least have inspired a few tea bagger signs at the Super Bowl of Freedom? It's a shame that Obama's government issue, appendix eating nanobots have sidelined him or Beck would have had this all diagrammed out on a chalkboard by now. Until then, I'll just avoid it until half a season has passed and we can all be sure that it isn't harboring a liberal agendas, like all TV.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Classy as always, New York Post
Want to turn a reformist struggle against an authoritarian, saber-rattling, anti-Semitic ruler who refuses to wear a tie into a cheap cocktail party joke? Hire a NYPost headline writer.
Hard to blame them, I guess, when you take a quick glance at the story's online comments section. There you'll find such gems as...
Hard to blame them, I guess, when you take a quick glance at the story's online comments section. There you'll find such gems as...ghostoflombardi wrote:(and)
Breaking News...
The World is in Turmoil:Brown People Gone Wild
Pure White wrote:Ready facepalm... and... fire.
Turban Warfare, Mullah Buckers, Jew Tube !
I JUST LOVE THE POST !
Friday, February 20, 2009
This is the part where we agree with the New York Post
Yeah, I said it. And you read it correctly. While I'm disinclined to perpetuate talk of any kind about the outrage conjured -- and as Matthew noted, it was conjured, out of thin air -- over the Chimp/Stimulus cartoon the Post ran this week, I have to link to the response. If only because you so rarely see such a pithy "shut the fuck up" in editorial form. Even in the New York Post.
My only gripe is that it doesn't begin "Dear Rev. Sharpton..."
My only gripe is that it doesn't begin "Dear Rev. Sharpton..."
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Dear Huffington Post, enough already
Right now the headline on Huffington Post is "MAJOR PAPER RUNS CARTOON ASSOCIATING OBAMA WITH CRAZED CHIMP" in big giant red letters. This has been changed from what it was a few minutes back when the headline blared the cartoon compared Obama to a chimp. Later it will probably say "MAJOR PAPER RUNS CARTOON ASSOCIATING OBAMA STIMULUS BILL WITH CRAZED CHIMP", then "MAJOR PAPER RUNS CARTOON WITH CRAZED CHIMP", then "HUFFINGTON POST APOLOGIZES FOR TRYING TO RACE BAIT FOR PAGE HITS".
Even worse is the article written by usually lucid Sam Stein, where he dismisses the clear intent, to mock the stimulus bill as written by idiots or crazed/rabid chimps and reference the crazed chimp rampage from yesterday, to darkly intone about the shadowy racial politics of the cartoon. Enough already. Is this where we have to go now, HuffPo? Every time an ape is used in a mildly political context it's racism? Is this what I have to do now, defend the New York Post? Defend unfunny cartoons? Is this how low I've sunk? It's about the crappiness of stimulus and referencing yesterday's monkey shooting. Political cartoonists aren't the most subtle bunch, if the cartoon was about Obama the ape would either look like him of have the word 'Obama' written on it.
It wasn't about Obama, you really have to work to make it about Obama, it isn't racist, and this is lame enough to barely warrant going up on the site, let alone the blaring red font headline. Grow up, breathe, and go cover the probable dozens of things in today's Post that were 30-40 times more racist than the cartoon. For Christ's sake, they run columns by Ann Coulter.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Irony is my favorite garnish
My favorite local profligate, monosyllabic enemy of all things "nanny state," the New York Post, ran a piece today highlighting the dramatic success of the $2.75 state excise tax increase on cigarettes enacted June 3.
Apparently, this tax resulted in a steady up-tick in calls to 311 (a taxpayer-funded public service) in search of free smoking cessation aides (a taxpayer-funded public service) aimed at improving the health of current smokers and non-smokers (a public service) alike.
The Post even went so far as to admit that the "[tobacco excise] tax increases in 2002 led to a five-year, 21 percent drop in adult smoking and a 52 percent drop in puffing among students in public high schools."
Insert "Free markets make free people/you can't legislate behavior/government money is wasted money" rhetoric [HERE].
Apparently, this tax resulted in a steady up-tick in calls to 311 (a taxpayer-funded public service) in search of free smoking cessation aides (a taxpayer-funded public service) aimed at improving the health of current smokers and non-smokers (a public service) alike.
The Post even went so far as to admit that the "[tobacco excise] tax increases in 2002 led to a five-year, 21 percent drop in adult smoking and a 52 percent drop in puffing among students in public high schools."
Insert "Free markets make free people/you can't legislate behavior/government money is wasted money" rhetoric [HERE].
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