Showing posts with label colbert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label colbert. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
If only
Stephen Colbert on BP, anger, Obama, fancy pants, and what should really happen to Tony Hayward.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Citius, Altius, Fortius
What's that, Visa? Go World? No...
The Official Stephen Colbert Olympic Poster. The Colbert Report, official sponsor of the US Speed Skating Team. Seriously.
The Official Stephen Colbert Olympic Poster. The Colbert Report, official sponsor of the US Speed Skating Team. Seriously.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Lawyering 101
Some of you may have been paying attention to the new Most Important Story Ever of the Week, which, in a shocking turn, is actually mildly relevant this time around. Yes, the whole Leno/Conan/NBC clusterfuck over whether we have to wait until 12:05 to watch something funny or if we'll be watching something funny at 11:35 on Fox. Well, at least 10-11 on NBC has been cleansed.
But in the battle Conan O'Brien wages to not let middle of the road milquetoast comedy return to our post 11 o'clock news lives, one interesting fact has arisen. It seems that in his fight to actually get the Tonight Show in the first place, Conan and his lawyers forgot to specify one tiny little detail of minor importance.
I don't know, but that sounds like some Lawyer 101 type shit. "Rule 2C, Subsection G: Make sure the contract actually says what you think it says and that you get what you actually think you're getting." It seems to me that a large part of getting the Tonight Show at 11:35 is the whole 11:35 part. It's almost Yoo-esque in it's incompetence.
But as a haggard Andy Richter desperately knocks the shotgun out of Conan's mouth just before he can pull the trigger, we all realize what the one good thing about Leno being on at 11:35 is: that's the exact same time the Colbert Report is on. It'll be like nothing's on NBC from 11:35-12:05 and it's one less complicated DVR scheduling issue you'll have to work out. Thanks for making our lives easier, NBC.
As an addendum, here's Patton Oswalt commenting on the situation and why Jay Leno is like Nixon.
But in the battle Conan O'Brien wages to not let middle of the road milquetoast comedy return to our post 11 o'clock news lives, one interesting fact has arisen. It seems that in his fight to actually get the Tonight Show in the first place, Conan and his lawyers forgot to specify one tiny little detail of minor importance.
When Conan O'Brien took on hosting duties of The Tonight Show, he had a team of lawyers negotiating his terms. Unfortunately, they neglected to specify a time slot, meaning NBC could put Conan on at whatever time they wanted, as long as he was still hosting The Tonight Show.Whoops. That sound you just heard was Conan pausing from his mid-morning cardio of smashing Jay Leno bobbleheads and that muffin basket NBC sent over with a cricket bat to contemplate how deep and how alive his lawyers should be buried after he finds them. I hope he hasn't already paid out the billable hours they charged to negotiate his contract.
According to Business Insider this means Conan can't switch to another network without "voiding his contract and passing on the tens of millions of dollars he would otherwise be owed."
I don't know, but that sounds like some Lawyer 101 type shit. "Rule 2C, Subsection G: Make sure the contract actually says what you think it says and that you get what you actually think you're getting." It seems to me that a large part of getting the Tonight Show at 11:35 is the whole 11:35 part. It's almost Yoo-esque in it's incompetence.
But as a haggard Andy Richter desperately knocks the shotgun out of Conan's mouth just before he can pull the trigger, we all realize what the one good thing about Leno being on at 11:35 is: that's the exact same time the Colbert Report is on. It'll be like nothing's on NBC from 11:35-12:05 and it's one less complicated DVR scheduling issue you'll have to work out. Thanks for making our lives easier, NBC.
As an addendum, here's Patton Oswalt commenting on the situation and why Jay Leno is like Nixon.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Cheap Blogging Crutch 12.18
U.S. training plan: Read first, shoot later
From liberal rag Stars and Stripes, comes a look at how the US is using literacy training to get people into the Afghan army and police, while also using a desire to get into the Afghan military and police as a way to spread literacy. We still pay less than the Taliban does, but we are giving them job skills. Shame we can't do it for anything cheaper than an extra hundred billion.
The sports-entertainment crossover: it's sublimely funny. Just ask speedskating savior Stephen Colbert
Sports Illustrated takes a look at Stephen Colbert's successful quest to save the US speed skating team through sponsorship and what it might mean for the future of Olympic sponsorship. All part of the new issue of SI that features Colbert on the cover... in a speed skating spandex suit. This is going to be the best Olympic sponsorship by a comedy program since SCTV sponsored the Canadian men's two man luge team.
In 2010, The Civilian Space Industry Finally Takes Off
It's almost at that point in time where we're starting to get past that point all our favorite sci-fi TV, movies, and books described as "the future" and into that part they called "the distant future". What do we have to show for it? The ability to watch porn anywhere and HDTV. No moon bases and nothing that even remotely hovers in a car. But 2010 is the year which we can also pay billionaires for the right to rocket our asses up into low orbit, to feel a sensation that Buzz Aldrin and Alan Shepard got tired of describing three decades ago. The future is slowly creeping up, it's just a shame that it's more in the "carnival ride" aspects of the future and not the "to boldly go..." ones.
Collider Sets Record, and Europe Takes U.S.’s Lead
Well the Large Hadron Collider is up and running and while it isn't yet up to the task of killing God or crushing Europe into a singularity, it is up to the task of rubbing America's nose in shit. It has already set the record for accelerating protons (to 1.2 trillion volts), for number and speed of collisions, for the number of particle physicists in one room named Jens, for the slowest particle on record, the largest particle on record, most PhD's at a nude science kegger, and most appearances of the "particle physicists do it with momentum and position" bumper sticker. Here's congratulating them on their serious endeavors.
People finally realize Facebook intends to make money off of their data
Yeah, Facebook is starting to become mildly evil in regards to privacy, attempting to make money, and making everything on the site public. Turns out that you can't expect Facebook to exist forever without trying to make a buck of your info. Social media isn't private, especially free social media. Shocking, I know. However, this will help you stalk 15 year-olds and ex-girlfriends you are convinced still love you without a restraining order entering into it. So, that's a plus.
Obama's Big Sellout
Matt Taibbi's big Rolling Stone piece on the Obama Administration and that whole thing where we intended to bail out banks and financial institutions while providing increased scrutiny and oversight before turning our attention to the American people, before we promptly forgot the whole scrutiny, oversight, and American people parts. He's probably a little too focused on Obama and Bob Rubin and not the collection of money humpers in Congress, but it is another thorough indictment of the way this country works. Shame he used the title "Obama's Big Sellout", what's he going to use for his article detailing the health care debacle?
From liberal rag Stars and Stripes, comes a look at how the US is using literacy training to get people into the Afghan army and police, while also using a desire to get into the Afghan military and police as a way to spread literacy. We still pay less than the Taliban does, but we are giving them job skills. Shame we can't do it for anything cheaper than an extra hundred billion.
The sports-entertainment crossover: it's sublimely funny. Just ask speedskating savior Stephen Colbert
Sports Illustrated takes a look at Stephen Colbert's successful quest to save the US speed skating team through sponsorship and what it might mean for the future of Olympic sponsorship. All part of the new issue of SI that features Colbert on the cover... in a speed skating spandex suit. This is going to be the best Olympic sponsorship by a comedy program since SCTV sponsored the Canadian men's two man luge team.
In 2010, The Civilian Space Industry Finally Takes Off
It's almost at that point in time where we're starting to get past that point all our favorite sci-fi TV, movies, and books described as "the future" and into that part they called "the distant future". What do we have to show for it? The ability to watch porn anywhere and HDTV. No moon bases and nothing that even remotely hovers in a car. But 2010 is the year which we can also pay billionaires for the right to rocket our asses up into low orbit, to feel a sensation that Buzz Aldrin and Alan Shepard got tired of describing three decades ago. The future is slowly creeping up, it's just a shame that it's more in the "carnival ride" aspects of the future and not the "to boldly go..." ones.
Collider Sets Record, and Europe Takes U.S.’s Lead
Well the Large Hadron Collider is up and running and while it isn't yet up to the task of killing God or crushing Europe into a singularity, it is up to the task of rubbing America's nose in shit. It has already set the record for accelerating protons (to 1.2 trillion volts), for number and speed of collisions, for the number of particle physicists in one room named Jens, for the slowest particle on record, the largest particle on record, most PhD's at a nude science kegger, and most appearances of the "particle physicists do it with momentum and position" bumper sticker. Here's congratulating them on their serious endeavors.
People finally realize Facebook intends to make money off of their data
Yeah, Facebook is starting to become mildly evil in regards to privacy, attempting to make money, and making everything on the site public. Turns out that you can't expect Facebook to exist forever without trying to make a buck of your info. Social media isn't private, especially free social media. Shocking, I know. However, this will help you stalk 15 year-olds and ex-girlfriends you are convinced still love you without a restraining order entering into it. So, that's a plus.
Obama's Big Sellout
Matt Taibbi's big Rolling Stone piece on the Obama Administration and that whole thing where we intended to bail out banks and financial institutions while providing increased scrutiny and oversight before turning our attention to the American people, before we promptly forgot the whole scrutiny, oversight, and American people parts. He's probably a little too focused on Obama and Bob Rubin and not the collection of money humpers in Congress, but it is another thorough indictment of the way this country works. Shame he used the title "Obama's Big Sellout", what's he going to use for his article detailing the health care debacle?
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Gold, women, sheep
Stephen Colbert looks at the linkup between conservative commentators and precious metals and Mad Men's John Slattery tries to prepare us for the post-apocalyptic nightmare future that we all know is coming.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Colbert's 10/31 Project
Because even great comedians can't resist pistol whipping Glenn Beck.
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| The 10/31 Project | ||||
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