Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Cheap Blogging Crutch - 5.5.10

Even though Matthew has emerged relatively unscathed from sexual rehabilitation camp his illness, going forward I'll be handling the Cheap Blogging Crutch, our daily installment of everything you've missed by leading a normal, productive life. Be sure to check in every day around 4:00 and save yourself the trouble of reading a newspaper.

Luxury brand websites ranging from Hennessy to Rolex to Chanel do not yet appear to work on iPhones or iPads. Users are instead prompted to download Flash, which the devices famously do not support. Well, fuck that. If I can't browse the Prada catalog from my iPad, I might as well just have my butler kill me.

George Alan Rekers, co-founder of the Family Research Council and anti-gay zealot, was spotted exiting a plane in Europe alongside a male prostitute hired from the website RentBoy.com. Rekers claims he contracted the lad to "carry his luggage" (a euphemism is born!) and had no idea the site peddled manwhores. In all fairness, I used to think lemonparty.org was a site about treating scurvy with laughter.

While the Gulf Coast tries to keep from becoming an uninhabitable flaming wasteland, elected officials such as John Boehner and Mary Landrieu are renewing their push for expanded offshore drilling. In Landau's case, this policy stance has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the $17,000 Landau's campaign received from BP during the 2008 election cycle.

So long as we're on the subject, BP is quietly laying the groundwork to dispute their culpability in the eventual payment for cleanup and damage costs associated with the amazing bottomless oil geyser they discovered in the Gulf of Mexico. TPM has a nice guide to who will be responsible, as though they actually believe the answer won't be "the American taxpayer."

Ending as always on a lighter note, should any of our readers escape the forced sterilization rightly imposed on them by the government and one day actually conceive a child, we would appreciate it if you announced your blessing to the world in this manner.

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