Art I wish was real of the day

Cédric Delsaux's StArt Wars via Amusement Magazine. There's an interview on the site where he talks about the project, but it's in French and I couldn't understand a word. I think it said something about my mother smelling of elderberries...

Anyway, I would kill all of you for a Millennium Falcon, AT-AT, or battle droid. Know that.

Finally!

You know, some men have dreams of greatness. Of going to the moon, climbing Everest, or finding an exceptionally large bag of money. Me? My dreams are about my own personal entertainment. And the bag of money thing. But mostly I just want life to entertain me as I've given up most hope that there is any other joy to be wrung from it.

That's why I have been praying for a Sarah Palin/Michele Bachmann 2012 Presidential ticket. What's more entertaining than two crazy, deluded women, rife with conspiracy theories about socialism, a fundamental lack of understanding about anything, and a propensity for mind shattering gaffes teaming up together to attempt to win the Presidency? Nothing. Well, OK, a lot of things. But you'd have to admit it'd be funny. I'm just glad to see that I'm not the only one thinking ahead for the future of comedy. Charity scam artist and military family bilker Sean Hannity thinks along the same lines.

"Are either one of you considering a run for the presidency in 2012?" Hannity asked the two. "I'm just asking. Gov. Palin, I'll start with you -- but before I get their answers, how many of you would like to see a Palin-Bachmann ticket?"

The live audience from the Minnesota Republican Party rally that day roared in applause and cheering at this idea. "Well that sounds kind of cool," said Palin.

Sarah hems and haws and faiths it up with a little dash of God on the side and Michele hems and haws and forgets that Geraldine Ferraro existed, however neither commits. Of course neither rules it out, so there's still hope.

All I'm saying is that I'll do anything to get this to happen. I'll sacrifice chickens, take some anti-psychotics and watch Hannity's show, pray to the baby and adult Jesus, and even donate money from the bag of money that I'm sure I'll find in the next two years. Just watch any of the videos from their appearance. Palin tries to write Naughty By Nature's comeback hit and Bachmann rants about the economic coup that has transpired. I think we're all in agreement: this needs to happen.

The power of prayer

You know how it is sometimes. You get so worked up over pending legislation that you and your fellow group of teabaggers pray unbelievably hard that God will go and smite leaders of the opposition so that they don't have enough votes to pass their little socialist scheme. But then the next day, as you look over the voting rolls, you see that not only did God not kill any Democrats, but that one Republican was unable to make the vote. Then that moment of panic sets in: did my prayer to kill an elected leader go into the Senate floor, miss a Democrat, ricochet around, and hit a Republican?

Well, there's only one thing left to do then: call into CSPAN and ask Sen. John Barrasso if your prayers accidentally killed Jim Inhofe instead of Robert Byrd, like you wanted.



Thankfully Barrasso was there to reassure the man that Sen. Inhofe wasn't killed by an errant prayer, he was probably just holed up in his office denying climate change or evolution or something. Whew! That was a close one.

But just a word of warning to those attempting to use the power of prayer to kill: when you order God to kill your political enemies, you have to put the killing prayer inside a spiritual sniper rifle. If you just try to cram the prayer into a metaphysical missile or a dogmatic cluster bomb, you have no idea just what kind of damage that prayer might do. No, you have to focus the power of your killing prayers. Otherwise, innocent men like Jim Inhofe might get taken down when all you are simply asking God for is the death of Robert Byrd.

It's simple shit, people.

The goodness of their hearts

You know, when Matt Taibbi said that Obama's financial and economic policy had been "hijacked by sniveling, low-rent shitheads", it was hard to believe. I mean they all wear such nice suits and have such large bank accounts. Surely it was hijacked by high-rent shitheads. But to the degree we're squabbling over the level of shitheadedness, we are in agreement: they're shitheads. So that's why it was nice to see Senior White House economic adviser Lawrence Summers make that case so eloquently this weekend.

Summers defended Obama's attempts to persuade banks to increase lending.

"The country did incredible things for the banking industry. Those things had to be done to save the economy, but no major bank would be intact, in a position to pay bonuses, if that extraordinary support had not been provided. The bankers need to recognize that. They need to recognize that they've got obligations to the country after all that's been done for them, and there is a lot more they can do, and President Obama is going to be talking with them about what they can do to support enhanced lending to customers across the country. We were there for them."

Dear sweet fucking baby Jesus, that's the way we're going to get credit flowing, taxpayer funded bonuses curbed, and better regulations and oversight? Obama's going to go jawbone with them and they'll do it out of a sense of duty and obligation because "we were there for them"? A sense of duty wasn't enough for them not to set everyone's money of fire and gamble with the world's financial stability, why would it compel them to act rationally now, especially when "they got theirs..." and we're clearly in the "...so fuck everyone else" phase. "We" are going to be there for them the next time they do this, by which I mean "you" and all your Wall Street buddies in government.

So that's the big plan for trying to make sure that this doesn't happen again: hoping that Wall Street wants to change things out of the goodness of it's heart. Actually, now that I've seen the lengths that our elected betters will go to kill meaningful regulatory reform of Wall Street and the difficulty of getting good legislation through the House and Senate, perhaps wishing that banks and financial giants have a change of heart is the most viable course of action. I guess it's the season for miracles.

Picture of the day

From Popular Science and some amateur photographers round the world comes this look at a staggering event of great scientific and cosmological importance....the dumping of 150 pounds of astronaut urine and wastewater from the Space Shuttle Discovery as it undockified itself from the International Space Station.

This was all a part of NASA's top secret $3 billion Project Freezer Burn initiative, in which the space program conspires to get gullible humans ('land meat' as NASA calls them) to make wishes on "shooting stars" that are in fact frozen balls of astronaut piss evaporating on re-entry into the earth. So, word of warning: that wish you made last Wednesday night isn't going to come true.

McCain's path to victory

So John McCain has pulled out of Michigan. Various "poll of polls" averages have him behind in Ohio, North Carolina, Virginia, and Florida. Now his people are whispering that McCain's path to victory will have to come without three more Bush states: New Mexico, Iowa, and Colorado.

The McCain campaign is looking at an Electoral College strategy heading into the final two weeks that has virtually no room for error and depends heavily on a dramatic comeback in Pennsylvania, which hasn't backed a Republican for president in 20 years.

While Iowa, New Mexico and Colorado are still officially listed as McCain target states, two top strategists and advisers tell CNN that the situation in those states looks increasingly bleak. Iowa and New Mexico always have been viewed as difficult races, but the similar assessment of Colorado reflects a dramatic shift for a campaign that had long counted on the state.

"Gone," was the word one top McCain insider used to describe those three states.

Looks like you're fucked then John. The key area where they think they'll get hammered in Colorado is on the ground game/turnout. So if the McCain camp is right and Obama adds Iowa, New Mexico, and Colorado (the first two are almost certain) to the tally, then McCain has to hold Florida, Ohio, North Carolina, Missouri, Virginia, and Nevada...and he still won't have an electoral victory if Obama keeps the Kerry states. Keeping in mind that Missouri is the only one of those states where he currently holds a lead (though Obama doesn't lead in Ohio and Florida by much), he would have to take every single one of those states and add Pennsylvania to win.

That's rich, make up 10-15 points in PA in two weeks, out organize Obama AND the Rendell machine, and do it all with your "throw shit at a wall and see what sticks" strategy. Good luck, it ain't gonna happen. So if this is what McCain insiders are telling CNN's John King, they're basically admitting defeat. Barring the inevitable bin Laden tape a week before the election. It'll have to be a good one too, with OBL showing pictures of him and Obama hanging out at a madrassa planning 9/11. Then PA's within reach.