What a wonderful country we have

Yeah, Amnesty International, we could do that. But then what would our state AG's tweet about? The unconstitutionality of health care?

A sign of the times, although many may find it distasteful, or much worse: Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff used a mobile Twitter client to send out a tweet announcing the impending execution by firing squad of convicted murderer Ronnie Lee Gardner.

As the BBC notes, quite a modern way to announce a very old-fashioned death.

In total, the AG sent out 3 tweets about the event from his iPhone only a couple of hours ago, the most recent one an all-too-familiar (on Twitter) self-promoting one.

1) A solemn day. Barring a stay by Sup Ct, & with my final nod, Utah will use most extreme power & execute a killer. Mourn his victims. Justice

2) I just gave the go ahead to Corrections Director to proceed with Gardner’s execution. May God grant him the mercy he denied his victims.

3) We will be streaming live my press conference as soon as I’m told Gardner is dead. Watch it at www.attorneygeneral.Utah.gov/live.html

What, he couldn't also put up a few Twitpics of the body or a Twitvid of the execution? No blog post? I thought we were living in the 21st century.

And firing squad? Nice to see we live in a modern world. Did you think four horses tied to the man's limbs running in four different directions was too inhumane? Didn't want to build a wall to fall on him?

Nicely done. I guess next time Utah executes a guy (eaten by sharks?) they can spring for a clown with balloons to deliver an ice cream cake to the media that says "The execution was performed successfully at 7:00 PM." You can write it across Fudgy the Whale. You know, so you can fully embrace the moment and commemorate it with a dignity befitting the gravity of the situation. Maybe fireworks that spell out "R.I.P."? I don't know, I'm not the Utah Attorney General here.

Is our children learning?

For 49 out of 50 states, the answer to the question posed above is "Yes... at least by shoddy American standards." The soon to be exception to that rule? Utah. Maybe we were too harsh to call them out for their blinkered state legislature backed climate change denialism. It seems that education isn't their strong suit.

The sudden buzz over the relative value of senior year stems from a recent proposal by state Sen. Chris Buttars that Utah make a dent in its budget gap by eliminating the 12th grade. The notion quickly gained some traction among supporters who agreed with the Republican’s assessment that many seniors frittered away their final year of high school, but faced vehement opposition from other quarters, including in his hometown of West Jordan.
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During a hearing of the state’s Public Education Appropriations Subcommittee earlier this month, Buttars suggested that funding 12th grade amounts to “spending a whole lot of money for a whole bunch of kids who aren’t getting anything out of that grade.” The state senator also has also suggested ending “all busing for high school students,” which would disadvantage poor students and only save a paltry $15 million.

Something that dumbs down education tacked on with a semi-racist/classist measure to cut costs because your retrograde Republican policies can't function with raising taxes or scaling back the tax cuts to the rich you've handed out to cover a nearly billion dollar budget shortfall? You knew Utah, or possibly Texas, was going to blaze that trail first.

Frankly they're just responding to the realities of our financial apocalypse. Who needs education when there aren't any jobs? Furthermore nearly everyone in Utah derives an income from one of those "Isn't it precious how we have 14 kids" reality shows, so doesn't really need an education, skill set, or pliable trade.

I know what you're saying, "Matt, don't Mormons believe that if you record them for television, the camera steals their soul? How can they all have TV deals?" Well you can't steal their soul if they're wearing special underpants that deflect the heathen voodoo rays. Plus 14 kids is a lot, a man has to be willing to put his soul at hazard to care for the fruits of his loins.

So, apologies to Utah. We didn't mean to make fun. We didn't realize you were one of the "special' states. Enjoy your eleven grades. It's all going to be fire, spears, and animal skinned barbarians heaving rocks at each other pretty soon. Who needs AP Physics or English 7/8?

It's cold out

It's a banner season for climate change denialists. With God deciding to take a look at the Mid-Atlantic and go "what if the Great Flood was frozen this time!", that unequivocally proves once and for all that because it is cold and snowing in one area, climate change is a sad, deluded, clinically disproven myth. Except, you know, when the science says the opposite. But who listens to science?

But we already knew that the science for global warming dries up the second someone, somewhere feels slightly colder than usual. But what happens when places where it's supposed to be cold are warmer than usual during periods when it's supposed to be cold? Like places where they're supposed to be holding wintry athletic competitions in the outdoors? And these places are theoretically are having to push back events, refund tickets, and helicopter in snow because of seasonal temperature highs, rain, and melting ruining said wintry athletic courses?

What ever could be the reason? Tim Gayda, the vice president of sport for the Vancouver organizing committee, do you have any idea?

Warm, wet El Niño winds from Hawaii that occasionally bring unseasonably warm weather around the region are known locally as the “pineapple express,” but the effects rarely last more than a few days.
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“We really shattered the all-time record,” he said. “It’s El Niño, and there’s something else that nobody understands at this point. It’s El Niño Plus.”

Yes. What ever could it be? I'm assuming the proper winter Gods were not placated, or perhaps Apollo was over placated. Anyway, while Vancouver might not understand why it's events are melting or why the Olympic Committee is now openly talking about having to take climate, temperature, and other planetary heating trends into account for the future, former Olympic Games host Utah knows what it isn't.

Utah's House of Representatives apparently has at least. Officially the most Republican state in America, its political masters have adopted a resolution condemning "climate alarmists", and disputing any scientific basis for global warming.
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The original version of the bill dismissed climate science as a "well organised and ongoing effort to manipulate and incorporate "tricks" related to global temperature data in order to produce a global warming outcome". It accused those seeking action on climate change of riding a "gravy train" and their efforts would "ultimately lock billions of human beings into long-term poverty".
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By the time the final version of the bill came to a vote, cooler heats apparently prevailed. The bill dropped the word "conspiracy", and described climate science as "questionable" rather than "flawed".

It's all magic, unknowable weather, angry deities, or just patterns that somehow seems to mystically link up with the deluded conspiracy theories of crooked scientists looking to bamboozle the public and thieve money out of the lucrative endless cash pile that is climate science. Funny how it always works out that way.

I'm just glad we learned two important climate facts. Cold and snowy here means global warming is a myth no matter what actual science says. Unseasonably warm weather in a wintry place means... LOOK OVER THERE!!! *runs away*