Above: The face of socialist homosexual terrorVALDOSTA, GA--A public address by President Obama to the students of General Sherman Elementary School was met with vehement protest by a band of self-described "independent grassroots activists" who called the speech a transparent political ploy.
The president's speech, entitled "Kittens are Adorable and Rainbows are a Magical Gift," was delivered to only 18 of the school's 437 students, as concerned parents pulled their children out of the assembly. This reaction was attributed primarily to a letter writing campaign aimed at exposing the "blatant socialist indoctrination in the illegal Kenyan president's vile invective, implied dislike of equally adorable puppies, and the morally bankrupt gay undertones inherent in his rainbow promotion."
That the language of the letter was indicative of articulation decidedly uncommon for the area seemed to escape conservative pundit and burrower of burrowing mammals, Glenn Beck, who called the campaign, "An unprecedented assertion of community organizing and first amendment rights in the face of a liberal-led degradation of the family unit."
In the wake of today's events, the White House has canceled a scheduled appearance at a suburban Dallas school, where the President had planned to deliver another speech on baby pandas and pajamas fresh out of the dryer.
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