Former U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska has filed a statement of candidacy for the 2014 election, but an aide cautions against reading too much into the move.I guess the man needs new vinyl siding on one of his houses and figures he won't get that shit for free if there's no possibility of him ever being in power again. For those of you at home, in 2014 Teddy will turn 91 and by turn 97 by the end of that term in 2020. He's an optimist to the last. The time out of office has humbled Ted and he's vowed to really hunker down and dedicate himself to getting some really nice stuff from the business leaders of Alaska. No more penny ante, free porch bullshit, only fine art and sacks with $ signs will be accepted. Thankfully all this lag time until the next election gives Ted a chance to collect enough souls of impressionable young children to provide a proper sacrifice to Ra, so that he may rule Alaska for another thousand years.
Campaign treasurer Tim McKeever says the filing does not mean Stevens has decided to seek re-election. He says it simply was done to accept donations that came into the campaign after the November election.
Stevens lost to Democrat Mark Begich days after being convicted of lying on Senate disclosure forms, but the conviction was vacated this week because of prosecutorial misconduct.
Who is to thank for all of this? The brilliant Bush Justice Department, who could only seemingly convict Tommy Chong competently and failed at pretty much everything else. Way to get Stevens freed on a technicality after he got caught red handed lying about the massive kickbacks and freebies he got during his reign as Alaska's grifter king. Fucked up another layup, kids. Did any of you actually do anything over those eight years other than bust up a mail order bong business and provide shoddy, legally bankrupt justifications for torture and wiretapping? Thanks.
