Bull Durham will fix this Gulf thing

Who do we look to when environmental crises are afoot? Celebrities. No, I'm not kidding. In their efforts to be holier than thou on a range of issues, mostly on the environment and humanitarian needs, celebrities go the full nine in learning about an issue so they can get bonus points for seeming smart. And it works to humanity's benefit. Just look at Bono in Africa, Angelina Jolie for the UN and refugees, or Sean Hannity for the families of soldiers. Actually, discount that last one.

Hell, Jack Nicholosn was touting hydrogen cars and solar power three decades ago. We should have listened to him.

So now with the oil spill in the Gulf, no one clear on how much oil there is or where it's going, no one sure if the leak was even completely plugged, our betters largely acting as if they're unaware of underwater oil hazards, better oil dispersant technology going unused and tests being needlessly delayed, isn't it time we turned to Kevin Costner? No, seriously.



97%? If that's true and can be deployed large scale, I promise to buy two copies of Mr. Brooks and see that Coast Guard rescue movie that he made with *shudders* Ashton Kutcher. Apparently Costner has been funding this project for 15 years, which was spearheaded by his brother, who is a scientist.

So let's get Kev out there in with a pump on a semi-futuristic boat, have Dennis Hopper fire guns at him while chain smoking, and we'll call it Waterworld 2. It'll entertain and help clean up a large scale environmental disaster. Hey, Costner in a pontoon couldn't do a worse job than BP.

Art of the day

click to embiggen

"What The Old Timers Used To Call Cabin Fever" by artist and illustrator Max Brown. Every costume change Jack Nicholosn goes through in the Shining as he devolves into an insane killer.

Wellllll, he comes off like an insane killer pretty much from frame one, but we'll just pretend he was acting normal in the beginning and pretnd there was a massive change to the point where he's hallucinating creepy nude old lady corpses and plunging an ax into Scatman Crothers.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 09.10

Big Food vs. Big Insurance
With the health care debate about to come to it's depressing conclusion of "making the least helpful reforms and improvements possible" some people are out there still trying to point out that one big reason we have large health care costs is our diet. One of those people is author Michael Pollan. He has taken to the pages of New York Times op-ed page to remind us all that we also need massive reform in the area of food subsidies and agribusiness regulation. Because if there's one thing to do that easier than health care it's getting farm state senators to turn off the free money spigot to their constituents and biggest contributors.

Bolivian Preacher Says God Wanted Him To Hijack Aeromexico Jet
It's nice to see that God and Jesus are finally branching out from their standard "appearing in a tortilla, appearing on a wall, or making a statue/little boy's eyes bleed" Mexico behavior. Why only let Muslims engage in dangerous and deadly plane behavior in the name of God? Spread that ability around to people of all faiths. What did the preacher do this for? He wanted to warn Felipe Calderon about an earthquake "like none there has ever been." Well, he's been warned. I just think the preacher is going to be a tad disappointed when Mexico isn't ripped in half by a 10.0 earthquake. Hell, I know Pat Buchanan and Tom Tancredo will be.

U.S. Forest Service warns against campers drinking Tecate beer, eating tortillas, and playing Spanish music.
If you had asked me which governmental branch was most racist against Mexicans I think I, and really all of us, would have said "border patrol" without even thinking. Who knew it was the forestry service? That said, they just wanted to warn people that if they heard signs of Mexican activity that they were not to engage them, tie their food up in a tree, and retreat to their car. While it might just be Mexicans in a national park, the forestry service feels that it's more likely a sign of armed marijuana growers or possibly....the dreaded ranchero bear. Be forewarned.

Top 10 political hecklers
In light of Joey Wilson's little outburst, the Times Online has decided to give us a rundown of the 10 best political heckles during a speech. As 9 out of the 10 examples are from British lawmakers (the final one being Bubba), they show considerably more wit, humor, and acidity than grunting out "You lie!" to an objectively true statement.

The 10 Best Jack Nicholson Summer Vacation Photos
Since summer is nearly over (weather wise), Popeater decided it was time to celebrate the season's last gasp with a series of nearly nude Jack Nicholson photographs. If one thing is for sure he definitely likes hisself a hoagie, smokin' and a swimmin', and beaching himself on land. Enjoy.

Last Days of Big American Physics: One More Triumph, or Just Another Heartbreak?
Wired Science takes us through Fermilab's last desperate attempts to conjure a Higgs boson particle before CERN can come back online. I'm of two minds. One: it would be really great if the USA!USA!USA! was able to deliver a $6 billion groin kick to Europe with our outdated particle accelerator that is not only ice cooled but involves scientists having to hand throw the particles into each other. Two: Despite that, I'm not so sure I prefer God to be murdered and a black hole to be opened on American soil. Let the Franco-Swiss border be destroyed first. Still this does raise one important question: in their last ditch attempt to prove the superiority of Fermilab, did US scientists sabotage the LHC's superconducting bending magnets? I'm not saying I could prove anything, but.....

A goddamn marvel of modern science

Jack Nicholson here, drugged out of his mind, showing a Chevy which runs off hydrogen produced by solar panels. This was 30 years ago. Jack conceived of this car with Dennis Hopper while taking peyote in between takes on Easy Rider. He built it with Harry Dean Stanton after they wrapped each day on Cuckoo.

A clearly high Nicholson could see the benefit of alternative fuels in response to oil prices and pollution 30 years ago, but no one in Detroit could two years ago.

Someone call him up and tell him we need him now more than ever. Dr. Jack Nicholson (Scientist) is our only hope for energy independence.