I think I know the answer to this one

With the GOP basically filibustering everything that comes down the legislative pike, progress has essentially stalled on all manner of issues. Namely all of them. But especially the economy. And so this country stagnates.

That has lead a lot of conservatives to poke their heads out from under rocks, cup their hands to their mouth, and yell "Bet you wish Bush was still in charge, huh?". You know, the kind of statement that one basically has to ignore 8 years of Presidential and decisions that failures that led to this financial apocalypse to even say. But they still keep saying it. They even put up this billboard:


Hmm. Let's go to the tape. Scholars?

Today, just one year after leaving office, the former president has found himself in the bottom five at 39th rated especially poorly in handling the economy, communication, ability to compromise, foreign policy accomplishments and intelligence. Rounding out the bottom five are four presidents that have held that dubious distinction each time the survey has been conducted: Andrew Johnson, James Buchanan, Warren G. Harding, and Franklin Pierce.

Voters?

And despite the economic upheaval and political acrimony that have marked his term thus far, voters aren't pining for Obama's predecessor; they tapped Obama over George W. Bush by a 53%-33% margin.

Blame heaving, angry, pitchfork waving peasants?

A new poll released Monday found voters were twice as likely to blame President George W. Bush, rather than President Obama, for the nation’s economic problems.

When asked whether Bush or Obama was responsible for the recession, 53 percent of likely voters said Bush and 26 percent said Obama, according to the poll from Third Way, a think tank with close ties to centrist Democrats. Another 21 percent of respondents said they didn’t know.

Other angry poors?

The survey contained a batch of good news for both the President and Congressional Democrats, however. Asked to assign blame for the balky economy, 61% point to the Bush Administration, while 27% fault Obama.

I think that's everyone. So, the answer is: no, we don't miss Bush. But we do still hate him a lot. There's that.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 06.17

For those of you wondering how exactly it was that famed Baroque painter Caravaggio died or where he was buried are in luck. Italian archaeologists are 85% certain that he was buried in a Tuscany crypt... and that he died of sunstroke while in a weakened condition from the syphilis he had. Odd, that's exactly how Sean is going to die. And he thought he didn't have anything in common with the great painters.

If any of our readers have enjoyed a Gulf oyster in the last few months, I hope you enjoyed the everliving shit out of it because you might not have another one ever. In a thoroughly depressing article, Mary Tutwiler catalogues the state of the oyster industry, oyster farmers, and the oysters. Shockingly the picture isn't pretty. On the other hand, if you hate oysters, this all worked out nicely for you. Congratulations.

Over the past few decades in American society, knowing how to do something like clean a pelican was left to pelican experts, zookeepers, and the perverse coterie of freaks on Pelicanfetish.com. But now with a large percentage of them covered in oil, it's something that we all need to know. Thankfully Buzzfeed has provided us with a step by step guide to cleaning up an oily pelican; whether it's from the Gulf or just a pet pelican that got into that barrel of oil you keep out back. On the other hand this might be a setback to BP's plan to soak up all that valuable oil with all those worthless pelicans.

The one constant so far in this year's World Cup, besides people getting outraged at plastic horns, has been shockingly bad goalie gaffes. Who is at fault? The goalies? The team defense? The head coaches who put them in? No, clearly the party at fault is the girlfriends of said goalies. The UK has already taken to blaming Robert Green's ex-girlfriend for his bungled effort against the Colonies, owing to their pre-Cup breakup. Spain decided to take that extra misogynistic step forward, blaming Goaltender Iker Casillas' sideline reporter girlfriend for not only distracting him during their 1-0 loss to Switzerland, but distracting the entire team. See what happens when you let women near sports? If there's a bear attack during a game, we'll have to completely ban women from girling up serious sporting events.

Have a dog? Might you like that dog to have everlasting life? Then I give you IMMORTAL DOG!!!!!

Elected Texas idiot Joe Barton finally had to come out and apologize for his apology to BP when even the leaders of his caucus took notice on how unpopular what he said was. But he's not done apologizing, so he set up the site Joe Barton Would Like To Apologize To in order to list the various aggrieved entities like BP who deserve our sympathy.

We've found our scapegoat

The UK papers are going mad over Obama and the entirety of the United States spectacularly hating on BP just because they massively fucked up the Gulf. That is when the papers can spare the time they're spending trying to drive Robert Green to suicide. You see, BP used to be regarded as a safe investment across the pond and as such was viewed as a safe centerpiece for pension investments and the like. Now with BP stock tanking and being rated as worth just barely above junk, that's looking like something that could be disastrous.

Of course to the nationalist press, that's all Obama's fault. They're much like our tea baggers. It's not so much BP spilling all that oil and failing to clean it up that's causing the stock problem, it's that Obama is pointing it out and complaining about it that's causing the problem. We, on the other hand, are giving England a right bollocking as if they were to blame for BP's awful, awful safety record, oil spilling, and attempted media chokehold.

Instead of fighting and misplacing blame on each other, let us place blame where it belongs. No, not a corporation. A scapegoat.

Primary responsibility for safety and other inspections rested not with the U.S. government but with the Republic of the Marshall Islands — a tiny, impoverished nation in the Pacific Ocean.

And the Marshall Islands, a maze of tiny atolls, many smaller than the ill-fated oil rig, outsourced many of its responsibilities to private companies.
...
Under International law, offshore oil rigs like the Deepwater Horizon are treated as ships, and companies are allowed to "register" them in unlikely places such as the Marshall Islands, Panama and Liberia — reducing the U.S. government's role in inspecting and enforcing safety and other standards.
...
Different types of rigs are classified differently, and the Marshall Islands assigned the Deepwater Horizon to a category that permitted lower staffing levels.

OOOOH! MARSHALL ISLANDS!!! YOU ARE AT FAULT!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!! THIS IS AN ATTACK ON US!!! Look UK, you hold the Marshall Island's arms and we'll punch them in the gut! Lax standards, loopholes, insufficient regulatory structure, uncomfortable closeness with and industry they're supposed to regulate... who do you think you are, Marshall Islands... us? A tiny country in the Pacific should regulate Gulf oil rigs better. For shame.

So world, if you're looking for the country to blame, it isn't the US or UK and it certainly isn't BP. Don't hate the player, hate the game. And a small collection of atolls with a population that could fit in an NFL stadium concocted the rules of the game and reffed it poorly. It's their fault. J'accuse.

Quote of the day

Alan Greenspan was on the Hill today to blame everyone else for the complete meltdown of the financial industry and the global economy during a meeting of the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission. In between trying not to blame banks or financial giants for what happened and blaming homeowners and poor people, Big Al offered up this assessment of how fuckin' awesome he thinks he is.

Greenspan: When you've been in government for 20 years, as I have been, the issue of retrospective and figuring out what you should have done differently is a really futile activity... My experience has been, in the business I was in I was right 70 percent of the time, but I was wrong 30 percent of the time and there are an awful lot of mistakes in 21 years.

Angelides: Would you put this in the 30 percent category?

Greenspan: I don't know.

Gee, you're only awesome 3/4th's of the time? How "man of the people" of you. Just one question, are you counting that whole "failure to foresee any of the massive problems that contributed to the global financial apocalypse and in many ways contributing to and exacerbating the problems" as one problem within the 30% or as comprising the entire 30%? Because it was a pretty massive fuck-up that seems like it could hardly be contained in the latter, so it seems like you're sweeping the "greatest economic collapse since the Depression" into the single mistake category, like that time you called your secretary Jane instead of Jan.

I know you think 70% is good and you're being modest, but you need to stop thinking of it in baseball terms. Sure if you were on the Yankees and were hitting .700, we'd be enshrining you in the Hall as we speak. But, say, if you were at a Community College and you were getting 70% of things right, you'd be well on your way to failing to get that two year degree in air conditioning maintenance and repair. You're a low-C/high-D student. As the state of the economy shows, that might just be a generous estimate.

Stay classy, Eric and the rest of the GOP

As Sean referenced in his post yesterday, the dead-enders of the teabagging spectrum of American politics are not taking the prospect of cheaper, more accessible health care well. In no small part egged on by the litany of right wing commentators and politicians calling majority enacting of broadly popular legislation tyranny, the end of civilization, the end of America, Armageddon, and calling for revolution or at least an armed insurrection, there has been an uptick in violence towards Democratic lawmakers who voted for the bill. Everything from bricks through windows, to phoned in death threats, to faxing nooses to lawmakers, to cutting the gas lines of the brother of Congressman Perriello, to mailing white powder to Anthony Weiner, it's really a cavalcade of dangerous low level right wing terrorism by petulant children. Catalog the ongoing stupidity at TPM.

And so the response from Democrats has been to condemn the attacks and ask that Republicans maybe tone down the insanity juuust a few notches, maybe stop the calls for a new American revolution, and downgrade the danger to society from complete apocalypse to minor Armageddon. So in turn John Boenher went out and released a statement affirming that bad things were bad and good things were good, but wanted you to understand that he knew bad things were bad. Thus the response from Democrats was "Uhhh... Ok" and they knew in their hearts that this was as much of an apology as they were going to get.

But apparently some memo has been going around the halls of Congress and the GOP has decided that they aren't coming across as big enough assholes during this run of violence, so Eric Cantor immediately followed up Boehner's vague speech with one placing the blame on where it truly lied: with Democrats.

"I've never blamed anyone in this body for that. Period. Any suggestion that a leader in this body that would incite threats or acts against other members is akin to saying that I would endanger myself, my wife or my children."

Cantor said a bullet was shot through the window of his Richmond, Va., campaign office this week, and that he's gotten threatening emails.
...
"It is reckless to use these incidents as media vehicles for political gain," he said. He called out DCCC Chair Chris Van Hollen and DNC Chair Tim Kaine by name as those who are "dangerously fanning the flames by suggesting that these incidents be used as a political weapon."

"To use such threats against members of congress is not a partisan issue," he said. "By ratcheting up the rhetoric some will only inflame these situations to dangerous levels."

There's video, so you can see that he actually said that with a straight face. Yes, it is not the people who are calling for revolution and heralding the end of all things that are to blame for violence, it's people who point out that the violence is politically motivated after the fact that are clearly to blame. And he's been subject to violence too! Not that he would ever stoop to politicizing it by politicizing it in a political speech about politicizing violence. Sure, police called bullshit on his claims and said that his "bullet attack" was just random and the result of a bullet, fired into the air, randomly coming down and striking his office. Don't you see how that's worse? Gravity is attacking Eric Cantor!

Soon, other Republicans were taking Cantor's ideas to heart and were out in full force blaming Democrats for this. Reps Price and Bachmann hit the airwaves to decry Democratic politicization of right wing fueled attacks. In the case of Tom Perriello, where a Tea Party activist deliberately posted up the address of Perriello's brother and told fellow teabaggers to "drop by", thinking it was Rep Perriello's house, and then, magically, a gas line got cut, the NRCC not only downplayed the violence but excused it and claimed that the real victims were those in Periello's district who would be harmed by cheaper health care. It should be noted that Periello's brother has a wife and 4 small children.

Way to keep it classy, GOP. I thought there wasn't a lower place you could go, but the inciting of violence and then tacitly endorsing it and excusing it when it happens, only stopping to blame victims, was something I didn't see coming. It was my mistake for thinking some shred of human decency existed when things like gas lines being cut, children being endangers, and anthrax threats were being made and you'd have some sort of discernibly human reaction. Guess not. Whatever, keep calling for revolution, uprisings, and coded statements about "showing lawmakers the will of the people... wink wink", I'm sure it has no connection to any of these attacks. Keep it classy. Maybe there will be an actual death soon for you to blame on the victim.

So there was this speech thing last night

Last night the President gave his State of the Union and the response seem to be pretty good. The speech was so good that Chris Matthews forgot Barack Obama was black for an hour. Me? I forgot the President was half white for an hour, then I forgot I was black for a half hour, remembered that I'm lily white for the other half hour, acutely remembered the religion and ethnicity of everyone I know for an hour, and then forgot who the supporting cast in the Godfather Part II was. I still can't remember.

It was a long speech, long on optimism, quick with mocking humor, and took numerous opportunities to chastise the shitty legislature, the problems he inherited, and the fact that nobody seems to want to do anything to address them. Here are some of the more buzzworthy lines from the speech. The TB consensus favorite was this:

"At the beginning of the last decade, America had a budget surplus of over $200 billion. By the time I took office, we had a one year deficit of over $1 trillion and projected deficits of $8 trillion over the next decade. Most of this was the result of not paying for two wars, two tax cuts, and an expensive prescription drug program. On top of that, the effects of the recession put a $3 trillion hole in our budget. That was before I walked in the door."

A completely true statement about the absolute horrowshow he was handed, which also triggered another running theme of the evening: human blights on the country mouthing bullshit when the cameras were on them.

But what were the themes of the evening? Jobs... and jobs, and jobs, and jobs, and jobs. Why? No one has one. Barry also took the time out to pledge and urge support for passing health care in the vague, nonspecific way that has been so infuriating during the health debate. He wants Congress to trust in the recovery path he put this country on, threatened to veto financial reform if it's the festering pile of lobbyist bullshit we all know it will be, ordered his party to get some balls, and offered up that maybe we should let gays serve in the military.

That's all good and well, but if good speeches that were very popular with the American people got things done, we'd have decent health care, smart regulatory reforms, action on climate change, decent bailouts and stimulus plans passed, and the country wouldn't be the shithole that it is. But as we've learned over the past year; talk is cheap, and so is owning a lawmaker. Well, cheap relative to the cost of what they can do for you by stalling, killing, or weakening laws. For all the good ideas, smart words, and big plans Obama has, they still have to go through the fiery crucible of stupid that is the US Senate and the lesser stupidity of the House.

So, Mr. President... yeah, good luck with all of that. I'll believe it when I see it. Still, nicely delivered and thought out. It's that implementation thing we're all still waiting on.

New tape drops

Guess who just released a new tape full of dated events and references that will make it un-listenable in the future in an attempt to remind everyone he's still around and still relevant to the world? Yeah, Eminem. But also bin Laden.

Bin Laden is heard on the tape warning Americans that they will reap the consequences of Mr Obama's anti-Muslim policies.

"Obama and his administration have planted seeds for hatred and revenge against America," says the fugitive leader of the al-Qaeda terror movement.

He condemned America's support for the Pakistan army campaign against the Taliban in the Swat region, which has displaced 2.4 million people.

“He has followed the steps of his predecessor in antagonising Muslims... and laying the foundation for long wars. Let the American people prepare to harvest the crops of what the leaders of the White House plant in the next years and decades."

Doesn't sound like his heart is in it. Plus he's blaming Obama for stuff he hasn't even had a chance to do yet. I mean I'm starting to think that his criticisms of America aren't empirically or factually based and might just be knee jerk analysis in an attempt to fear monger/hold on to power. I don't know where he's going with that crop reference though. True, like corn, the Government has over-subsidized and over-spent on making Muslim hatred of the West widely available and cheap. But we have not yet found a way to use up all that Muslim hatred by feeding it to our livestock and using it to sweeten our sodas.

Hey remember after 9/11 when there was all that talk about getting bin Laden "dead or alive", "smoking him out, and the general sense within the country that he would pay for his crimes? Yeah, still hilarious. I'm beginning to feel we're just like all those people who got excited when Neville Chamberlain starting waving around peace accords.

Cheney Hate Triad

That son of a bitch popped his head up and started talking again yesterday. Naturally, as he can't seem to ever stop talking, there are numerous fallacies, straw men, and lies to go over. Even the thes and ands are false. Let's hit on a couple of noteworthy parts of his remarks.

"On the question of whether or not Iraq was involved in 9-11, there was never any evidence to prove that," he told the "On The Record" host in a joint interview with his daughter Liz. "There was "some reporting early on ... but that was never borne out," Cheney said.

You know,that would have been a nice thing to mention when you were mentioning there was solid evidence to prove Iraq and al-Qaeda were working together. That "reporting early on" was you. What tipped you off? Was it the complete lack of evidence or the fact that you spent all that time waterboarding prisoners to find out what the connection was and they never gave you anything good? Thanks for finally coming to the conclusion six years, two wars, thousands of lives, and a couple hundred billion dollars later.

At least he's finally dealing with 9/11 and criticism towards the Bush Administration like an adult.

CHENEY: You know, Dick Clarke. Dick Clarke, who was the head of the counterrorism program in the run-up to 9/11. He obviously missed it. The fact is that we did what we felt we had to do, and if I had to do it all over again, I would do exactly the same thing.

That's right, he's blaming Richard Clarke for 9/11. That's the same Richard Clarke who was trying to convince them to focus on terrorism while they were focused on missile defense. The same Richard Clarke who couldn't get a meeting with the Bush Administration. The same Richard Clarke who sent countless memos and e-mails to Cheney and guys like Cheney with titles like “Bin Laden and Associates Making Near-Term Threats”. The same Clarke whose 2000-01 terrorism plan languished inside the Bush bureaucracy. The same 9/11 that happened 8 months into the Bush Administration's reign. Clearly Richard Clarke's fault and not the guys who wouldn't listen to him.

Then there's this odious little comment.

Asked if “some form of legalized marriage” was “inevitable in the United States,” Cheney said that “freedom means freedom for everyone.” “I think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish,” said Cheney, adding that believes marriage should be regulated at the state level.

See...wait. He just said something I agreed with. Getting dizzy...head spinning....world collapsing....urge to vomit increasing....

There. Recomposed myself. This raises an important question: If Dick Cheney supports gay marriage, is there a chance that it might be as morally ruinous as Christian Fundamentalists claim? I think we have to consider that possibility now. Though frankly, this would have been a nice thing to say during those eight years when you were running things and your party was making big hay out of demonizing gay marriage. I guess you were too busy violating the Constitution to notice. Isn't that always the way it happens?

Blame Mexico

I'm surprised it took a week to put together clips of the right wing media blaming Mexicans and illegal immigrants (in conjunction with the Council of Evil Wizened Pigs) for waging a bioterrorism attack against us. Maybe this was just the stuff they said on Monday. We're through the looking glass people, flu zombie armies are being sent across the border because they hate our freedom. Why couldn't we have listened to Michael Savage and Neil Boortz when we had the chance?

Daily aggregation of Michelle Bachmann's retardation

Because she is an adult of the highest order, Michelle Bachmann decided to take this opportunity of a Mexican outbreak of the swine flu to do what all really smart people do: find the highest ranking Democrat and blame it all on them.

Minnesota Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann, following Rush Limbaugh's cue, suggested on Tuesday that President Obama was to blame for the swine flu crisis. She went even farther than the talk show host, implying that swine flu epidemics are a Democratic phenomenon that dates back to President Carter.

"I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence."

Oh how brave of her. She doesn't actually have the guts to say it, but she just wants to heavily imply it. Of course, like always, he quick rush to use her deeply researched scientific/historical revelation to blame everything on the Demmycrats and socialism wasn't based anywhere within the realm of the factual. Other than blaming something that was started in Mexico by pigs on Obama (he's an Indonesian Muslim human, not a Mexican pig, remember?), it was actually Gerald Ford who was President when the last swine flu outbreak happened. I'm not saying she's the country's dumbest elected official, I'm just think it's an interesting coincidence she can't seem to get anything right, yet keeps talking.

In another victory for intelligence, John Boehner decided to create the House GOP American Energy Solutions Group, a comically named group that is going to pretend a return to using whales for oil will solve everything. Of course he named Michelle Bachmann to the group, because what better way to signal to the voters that you're serious about tackling energy problems and clean/green energy by making sure an avid global warming denier who continually lies about energy and the environment is front and center.

"[T]here isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows carbon dioxide is a harmful gas. There isn’t one such study because carbon dioxide is not a harmful gas, it is a harmless gas. Carbon dioxide is natural. It is not harmful. It is part of Earth’s life cycle." [4/22/09]

"And the science indicates that human activity is not the cause of all this global warming. And that in fact, nature is the cause, with solar flares, etc." [3/22/09]

"[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she's just trying to save the planet. ... We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet -- we didn't need Nancy Pelosi to do that." [8/12/08]

"The big thing we are working on now is the global warming hoax. It’s all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax." [3/15/08]

Why wouldn't you want this bright mind making energy policy? At the very least this energy solutions group will make for entertaining fodder. Right after fellow committee members John Shikmus declares CO2 caps as "war on plant food" or an "assault on democracy" and Mike Pence calls caps a "declaration of economic war on the Midwest", Michelle can jump in and say we've angered the Carbon God and must sacrifice livestock to make restitution. It's a solution. It counts.

That little son of a bitch

J'Accuse!!!!!!

The health professionals in the US, Mexico, and at the WHO have finally given us the one thing we need to know during this potentially deadly flupocalyse: a scape pig goat. No, not a large multi-national farming concern with large pig herds producing rivers of shit right near villages, it was all the demented, devious plan of a four year old boy. Probably. They've narrowed it down to the boy and Smithfield.

A Mexican village whose inhabitants were overwhelmed by an outbreak of respiratory illness starting in February has emerged as a possible source of the swine flu outbreak which has now spread across the world.

The state government of Veracruz in eastern Mexico has confirmed one case of swine flu in the village of La Gloria with the sufferer named locally as a four-year-old boy, Edgar Hernández Hernández. The federal government said tonight that he tested positive for the same strain of the virus which has claimed lives in Mexico.
...
"The sample of one of the cases, that of a four-year-old boy, was kept," said federal health minister José Ángel Córdova. "It was among the samples sent [to labs abroad] and that came back confirmed."

What a little shit. He comes down with the earliest known case of swine flu and doesn't even have the decency to inform everyone.

The piece also goes into the Mexican investigation of Smithfield on the premise that the kid's village, the 60% infected, and the proximity to a pig farm are somehow related. Smithfield says that none of it's pigs are sick, mostly because they've pumped them so full of antibiotics the pigs are legally classified as four legged penicillin, but that they are willing to work with health organizations to clear up this convergence of timelines, geography, names, outbreaks, and series of unrelated coincidences that all happened around their "farm". Everything is a coincidence.

By the by, if you happen to be in Veracruz and notice the smell of BBQ in the air, that is in no way the disposal of evidence. Smithfield is just having a massive BBQ to celebrate the fact that they've exonerated themselves. No further need to look into things. Just stop by and have a free rack of ribs. On the house.

Time to get tough

It had to happen sometime. Finally government gets mad at all these damned companies asking for bailouts and handing out bonuses. Finally Washington is asking hard questions, setting hard deadlines, and getting tough. With the financial companies? God no, what are you, high? We've decided to take a couple of beaters from Detroit, paint AIG & Citibank logos on them, add in a big picture of Joe Cassano on the hood and start beating them with baseball bats in a furious rage.

The White House on Sunday pushed out the chairman of General Motors and instructed Chrysler to form a partnership with the Italian automaker Fiat within 30 days as conditions for receiving another much-needed round of government aid.

The decision to ask G.M.’s chairman and chief executive, Rick Wagoner, to resign caught Detroit and Washington by surprise, and it underscored the Obama administration’s determination to keep a tight rein on the companies it is bailing out — a level of government involvement in business perhaps not seen since the Great Depression.
...
If a deal is reached between Chrysler and Fiat, the administration says it would consider another loan of $6 billion to Chrysler.

G.M., on the other hand, has made considerable progress in developing new energy-efficient cars and could survive if it can cut costs sharply, the task force reported. The administration is giving G.M. 60 days to present a cost-cutting plan and will provide taxpayer assistance to keep it afloat during that time.

Why the different track with Detroit? Two reasons: 1. It's easier to sell steel, car building robot slaves, and surplus car doors in a bankruptcy than it is useless bullshit like credit default swaps. 2. The dumbass CEO's from Detroit didn't even threaten to pull down the entire economy with them or claim that they needed to be retained because only they knew how to fix the problems they created. This is the lack of innovation that has been crippling Detroit for years.

People from within the Administration also seem to be mad that Detroit hasn't fully lived up to its loan related promises. How is this different than the financial institutions? Well, no one from the Treasury Department or Obama Administration spent time working their way up the Detroit ranks, has any friends in the car industry, or is partially to blame for the mess in Detroit. So they can wail on Detroit without any future awkward social situations/uncomfortable cocktail parties or yet another reminder that they've spent their life working in an industry with no redeeming societal value.

So congrats Detroit, you get to feel the wrath of a government scorned. It's not your fault, you just look like AIG when we squint our eyes a bit. We'll put this in the "right idea, wrong reason" file.

Oh yeah, the State of the Union

Well, OK technically the speech that guys in their first month of office to Congress isn't called the State of the Union Address, but really all the same elements are there. President, Congress, speech, legislative proposals, TV audience. And what a state the union is in, the state of freefall. While some are hoping for a more...uh...hopeful tone, he is going to be talking about proposals that have to get past Republicans. So expect this speech to take on the tone of a hostage negotiation, where the chief of police has to try to get the deranged leader and his elite team of mercs to release the hostages before they blow up the building and kill everyone. The White House has addressed some preliminary points Barry will touch upon.

The economy, in its worst tailspin in decades, will dominate. Obama will touch on foreign policy, but that will largely be left for other upcoming speeches. This will not be a rollout of one policy initiative after another.

Obama will make clear that the trillion-dollar-plus deficit is one he "inherited." In other words, he wants to remind people that President George W. Bush and the previous Congress left him a big hole, forcing him to pursue the costly stimulus package.

The president will push for movement on ensuring health coverage for all Americans. He will seek to expand educational opportunities, and diversify the country's energy sources, and contain sacred entitlements like Social Security, and halve the soaring budget deficit in four years.

Ah yes, 15 minutes of "Things will get better" followed by another 15 of "That motherfucker Bush caused all of this. J'ACCUSE!!!!!!!" Then he moves on to things that will invariably not get passed, like healthcare, because ~socialism~ and someone like Ben Nelson or Olympia Snowe thinks it sounds too expensive. Round it out with a plea to halve the deficit by either cutting spending or overseeing the dissolution of the United States and this shouldn't go more than an hour. All in all it ought to be good practice for a year from now as he gives his first official SotU in front of a trashcan fire in the burnt out remnants of Washnington.

Blame Game

Time has decided to provide us with a useful service today. Instead of reporting on news or providing analysis, they've given us a something to channel our finance based rage into. No, not a large pinata filled with food stamps shaped like Bernie Madoff. A Top 25 "Whose To Blame" list, where people can vote on who they think is most to blame for this crisis. It's interactive and provides real time blame updating. As of this writing our friend and mentor Phil Gramm is leading the field with a #1 ranking, 9 blame rating, and over 49,000 votes.

As chairman of the Senate Banking Committee from 1995 through 2000, Gramm was Washington's outspoken champion of deregulation. And he got it, by playing a lead role in the writing and passage of the 1999 repeal of the Depression-era Glass-Steagall Act, which had separated commercial banks from Wall Street. Then he inserted a provision into the 2000 Commodity Futures Modernization Act that exempted derivatives like credit-default swaps from regulation.

Basic facts burn! Second is possibly blind, deaf, and dumb SEC chief Chris Cox, who still might not be sure there was some funny business going on over on Wall Street and he was in charge of a large regulatory organization capable of what we in the business call "doing something". Third is Angelo Mozilo, founder of Countrywide, the genius who first popularized giving exotic mortgages to iffy home buyers. #4 is Joe Cassano, founder of AIG's financial products unit who banked everything on credit-default swaps. Rounding out the top five is Frank Raines CEO of Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac, I didn't bother reading.

In last place is Burton Jablin the director of programming for Scripps who created Designed to Sell, House Hunters and My House Is Worth What?, Flip That House, Flip This House, Flip A House, Flipping Houses, Flipping House Hunters, Flip Some House, Honey? Some Guys Are Here About A House Flipping, Has This House Been Flipped?, and the Hugh Laurie medical drama House. Clearly this man is a sick individual, but I'm going to put his culpability somewhere ahead of mine and behind everyone who worked in finance, banking, regulation, or our government. Bush is only #16, marking the only time he will be outside of the top 10 in an un-ironic worst list for the next five decades.

So go on over, register your rage, and re-channel it into something productive. Like finding a job or creating working voodoo dolls of all 25 list members.

The McCain Camp: "Nuh-uh, it's your fault"

Blame game: GOP forms circular firing squad

With despair rising even among many of John McCain’s own advisers, influential Republicans inside and outside his campaign are engaged in an intense round of blame-casting and rear-covering — much of it virtually conceding that an Election Day rout is likely.

A McCain interview published Thursday in The Washington Times sparked the latest and most nasty round of finger-pointing, with senior GOP hands close to President Bush and top congressional aides denouncing the candidate for what they said was an unfocused message and poorly executed campaign.

It's funny how these year long circle jerks always turn violent at the end, becoming some circular firing squad of bewildered old men, pants around their ankles, wondering what the hell just happened and knowing, deep down, that it is everyone else's fault. For those of you counting, this is the second "What the fuck just happened" McCain post-mortem where disbelieving McCain staffers talk about why they lost.....two weeks out. NYT Magazine had the first.

Both seem to have no idea why the six different McCain reboots and campaign narratives didn't seem to take hold. Why credit grubbing while doing nothing during a crisis failed to ignite the campaign. Why a campaign focused on winning the day had some many problems constructing a cogent narrative for the fall. Why a campaign that constantly contradicted itself had trouble making a case against Obama. Why a total erratic lack of discipline looked so bad during a time of crisis. But rest assured, it was totally someone else's fault and they're willing to tell you in excruciating detail 12 days out so you don't get the wrong idea and blame the wrong guy.

"Election? What's that? The important thing now is blame. It was all Rick Davis, let me give you an audio recording of him pushing for Palin and the campaign suspension. He forced us."