...and we're back

And we're back, after a little extended hiatus. What happened? The story of the day became about the federal budget and I went into complete catatonic shock due to boredom. Also, I may have had spotty/nonexistent internet coverage over the past few days and Sean may or may not be dead of some new, ultra-virulent super plague. But good news: people stopped pretending to care about the budget, the internets are working, and, after a tasteful funeral, a search to find a new Sean (to also be named Sean, so I don't have to change the site any) will be held.

Here, watch this video about terrorist Alaskan polar bears, I think it explains pretty much everything.

We are victorious!!

I am back! It was a harrowing few hours since the combined Zombie, CHUD, and Illuminati attacks rendered most of the South Hills, nay Allegheny County, nay the entire Rust Belt without power. But we banded together as a people, organized, fashioned crude stabbing implements, and used all those guns we had to fight the coalition of interlopers and eradicate them completely, restoring power.......and sanity to the world. We have prevented the Zombie spread, banished the CHUD's back underground, and have captured many of the dinosaurs the Illuminati members were using as mounts. You may view them in our Zoos of Victory.

All it means is this: order has been restored. Go about you lives as if this never happened. I already see the corporate media is covering up any mention of this titanic struggle from it's airwaves. I'll bet they'll say a tree hit a power line or a hobo jumped onto a transformer and shorted it out with his fried hobo corpse. We know the truth. We know what happened. We have the battle scars.

You're welcome.