Santorum: Now with tea leaves added to the froth

This weekend the country was subjected to more tea party rallies. Why? As best I can guess: so that the Republicans who couldn't get away from their lobbying jobs on Thursday would have a chance to stump for the cause of freedom... teadom. Case in point, Rick Santorum, last seen hilariously losing to a human sleeping pill by 18 points.

True to tea party form, Santorum stuck to grandiose claims about the importance of teabaggers and let the crazy fly when referencing King Hussein Obama X of Mombasa.

"Now it's a different kind of war. Instead of the Japanese dropping a bomb on Pearl Harbor, Barack Obama has assaulted the soul of America," he said. "And it's our watch."
...
"What did you do during this critical time in the future of this country?" "I'm not asking you to charge a beach with guns lined up against you. I'm not asking you to sacrifice anything except for some of your time, some of your energy, and some of your money, to strike a blow for freedom."

Look Rick, I know you don't live around here... or in Pennsylvania at all, but let me clue you in to a little fact about Western PA: we're cool with assault the first time it happens. Hey maybe there was some contact between Obama and freedom, but from the sounds of it things were consensual. Plus, what with these tea party demonstrations and pleas for money, it seems that freedom is only interested in cash and attention. Then there are these multiple stories of how Obama assaulted freedom; from ramming health care down freedom's throat to bailing out banks to being a Muslim, that I just don't know if we can believe freedom's allegations.

However, if this happens a second time.... well... Western PA will certainly be demanding Obama's trade. Possibly to Canada for a 5th round pick.

Surely it wasn't all third rate war and rape allegory. Surely there had to be good news to spread.

As Mr. Santorum was introduced, some chanted "2012," urging him to run for president. In an interview afterward, Mr. Santorum said only that he wants to have an impact on the race, as a candidate or otherwise.

"I'm considering it, but it's way too premature to make any decisions at this point," he said about a possible White House run.

Oh please baby Jesus, tell me that the 2012 battle for the soul of the Republican party is going to be waged by Santorum, Huckabee, Palin, Bachmann, and Newtie. I know they'll televise it, but at podiums on a stage doesn't seem to befit the majesty of such an event. Perhaps there's an open sewer pit that can be rented out. Perhaps one that has been tainted with radioactive waste. Then they can battle it out for the GOP nomination with some irradiated alligators and whoever wins, be it man, woman, or gator, will have the atomic mutations necessary to beat Barry in an election that ACORN surely will have spent years rigging.

Stop considering it, Rick. Run!

For the love of God go away

Rick Santorum is back and for the love of God I don't have any clue why. Is America clamoring for the leadership of a man who got his head caved in by 18 points to a charisma vacuum like Bob Casey? Does the Republican party need yet another orthodox Christian conservative with a lot of shady lobbying ties who wishes to take the party further out into the wilderness? I guess he's convinced so, because he's going to Iowa to start stumping for 2012.

“I have to tell you I was surprised by the response, just invitations…If you Googled ‘Santorum in Iowa’ before I did that Politico interview, there were 350 items would come up, entries that would come up on the search. I Googled it this morning. You know how many came up? Guess….1,360,000 entries! That surprised me, you know, when I see that and when I saw the reaction out there. It’s a little, it makes you step back and think when I actually wasn’t thinking about it.

“You say I should have been thinking about this long ago. Well, I wasn’t. Am I thinking about it seriously now? Well, I’m here.

That's funny, you know what the first thing that came up for me when I Googled Santorum? Oh, nothing.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 09.14

It’s Showdown Week for the Baucus Six, With a Medicaid Fight Looming
Max Baucus is finally ready to put his chairman's seal of approval on some health care legislation this week. The only question is if he'll be able to forge some sort of compromise with the bill they've written and get Republican lawmakers to sign on (HA!), or if he'll just rubber stamp the bill without their support. Because after all, after the bill that you've crafted with the expressed purpose of gaining Republican votes fails to get the Republican votes of the people who directly negotiated with, the only solution is to move forward with that bill and all the provisions in it that failed to capture Republican votes.

Charles Darwin film 'too controversial for religious America'
I don't know whether to sing a verse from the "Star Spangled Banner" or "America, Fuck Yeah!" here. A dramatic film about Darwin that is only marginally about evolution has gotten distribution in every other country, but can't get distribution here...for some reason. Now sure, some might say that it's just because the movie is "Flat, dull, and painful to sit through", but that didn't stop Transformers 2, or half-to-three quarters of all movies that get released. Oh well, maybe we can get a documentary about the facts behind the Creation Museum instead.

Closing The Book On The Bush Legacy
Who would have ever thought that a census could ever provide a furious smackdown of the Bush legacy? But when you look at the trend lines from previous Presidents comparing median income, adults living in poverty, children living in poverty, access to health care, Americans uninsured, Americans receiving employer health insurance, Amer.....look it's rather a lot of things, we'll just say "everything either declined in a bad way or rose in a bad way" and be done with it.

Stiglitz Says Banking Problems Are Now Bigger Than Pre-Lehman
What is it with these Nobel Prize winning economists and their need to let everyone know that not only were they right about the economic collapse, but that they have some new soul crushing revelations? Things are worse and problems are larger? Who would have ever thought that would be the result after a Congress completely in the pocket of the banking and financial industries committed themselves to doing nothing other than handing out large sums of cash? For those of you that are interested, this is Part 124,868 in the series America: Not Learning From It's Mistakes.

Santorum Admits to Pondering Run for Republican Presidential Nomination - Asks for Prayers
Can he tell if the prayers are coming from heathen sources only wishing for him to engage in electoral failure that matches this moment of greatness? Surely he's going to be able to tell that my prayers, Sean's prayers, and Dan Savage's prayers aren't filled with anything other than malicious intent, right?