Cheap Blogging Crutch 08.12

What Happened to a Public Health Plan?
The New York Times asks several health care experts, scholars, and doctors to ponder why the public insurance option seems to be lying battered and beaten on the side of the road. No one says "because it was fucked to death by elected money grubbing cretins" so one does begin to question if this group is really the experts they say they are.

Stallworth allowed to leave home to train
The tale of Cleveland Browns drunken killer wide-out Donte Stallworth continues. It seems the piddling 30 days in prison he received for killing a man and the subsequent home confinement are too onerous a punishment, he feels. So he has filed a petition to let him out of his house arrest so that he can properly train for a NFL career he's no longer going to have. Ahh, to be a famous athlete. All my drunken killings always seem to come with harsher penalties.

Chevy Volt To Get 230 MPG City Fuel Economy Rating
How's that sound, Toyota Prius? Did America just stick it in and break it off? What, dawg, what? Do something! Now sure, this is GM, so there's probably some awful catch, like it runs on nuclear power, orphan blood, or somehow requires that you burn down a rain-forest to build one, but this is jaw dropping news. It's probably a lie, but still, who ever remembers the truth?

'Evil and Orwellian' – America's right turns its fire on NHS
I wonder how the UK is taking the constant barrage of attacks from Republicans on its National Health System. Oh, not well? It's actually affecting diplomatic relations and angering the government and civil service of England? I wonder why? Maybe it has something to do with the litany of half-truths, lies, and baseless attacks on their superior health care. Still, at least their outrage isn't backed by a staggering number of humiliating statistics on the cheapness, effectiveness, and superiority of their system.

£40m jewels stolen from London store
Gotta love the Brits. They're always good for a debonair, high-class, jewel heist. They used a chauffeur driven Bentley! In fact this jewel heist is almost twice as large as the previous heist record. I eagerly await the impending mediocre Jason Statham movie about this heist.

Our Fuzzy President Is About To Come Into Focus
Dan Froomkin has started his new gig at the Huffington Post with the same style he's been known for: witheringly effective critiques of politics from the left. In his first column he looks at Obama, his health care efforts, and the supposed openness of his government. The general theme being: we're about to find out exactly who Obama is and what kind of President he'll be.

Eat it, Cleveland!

America's Most Miserable Cities

No. 4 Cleveland, Ohio

Only Denver gets socked with more snow than Cleveland's 52-inch annual average among the 50 largest metros. Clevelanders wait in fear for July 1, 2010, when hoops star LeBron James can switch teams as a free agent.

Pittsburgh ain't even on it. Yet another way we continually better you in meaningless magazine columns and sporting events. Now personally, I would have liked it if they had reasons other than snow and the possibility of LeBron leaving (Big Ben, Crosby, and Malkin ain't goin' anywhere bitches!), because that makes it seem less scientific, but what can you do.

Cleveland, you are miserable and the the only cities you can look down on are Stockton, Memphis, and Chicago. Though really, Chicago is kind of a stretch. Detroit is less miserable than you. Detroit! Hang your head in shame and know we have bested you once again......FORBESTYLE!!!!!