PAMPLONA—Today city and business leaders gathered in the city square to thank visitors for coming to the city to help them celebrate the world famous San Fermin festival. The ceremony was used to not only mark the end of the San Fermin celebrations but also as kickoff of a new promotional campaign to attract tourist dollars outside of the traditional one-week festival window. It began with the mayoress …wait, does anyone else feel that rumbling? I swear I feel rumbling and hear animal calls and the panicked cries of helpless humans.
“We would just like to commemorate the completion of this sacred event that has taken place here since 1591,” declared Mayoress Yolanda Barcina. “Furthermore I would just like to thank the hundreds of thousands of tourists who have traveled to our city. In such harsh economic times we are buoyed by the support our festival has recie…THE BULLS!!!! WE FORGOT TO LOCK THEM UP!!!! OH SHIT THEY'RE GOING TO SLAUGHTER US! RUN FOR YOU LIVES BEFORE YOU'RE TRAMPLED UNDER THEIR CLOVEN DEATH HOOVES!!”
The mayoress' comments, which the assembled masses felt were...OH FUCK! SHE WASN'T KIDDING!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!! BULLS!!!
Oh God, I think we're safe behind this food vendor's cart. Don't expose any flesh or let the bulls know we're hiding here. Give me a second, I need to compose myself. The San Fermin festival has for years....JESUS, THERE'S MORE OF THEM!!! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE? WHO WOULD CELEBRATE THIS ON A YEARLY BASIS? WHY WOULD ANYONE HOLD SO MANY DANGEROUS ANIMALS WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS?
The festival, held in honor of St. Fermin has been…OH JESUS THAT BROWN ONE JUST GORED THAT MAN FROM THE AP RIGHT IN THE HEAD!! HE HAD A FAMILY! FUCK THEY’VE NOTICED US! RUN!! RUN!! LEAVE THIS PLACE!! WE MUST NEVER RETURN!!
