Cheap Blogging Crutch 01.28

Bernanke Confirmed for Second Term as Fed Chief
The Republic is saved! Praise be unto the only man on the planet who can do this job, Ben Bernanke! Sure, he didn't see any of this coming and by any measurable standard is doing his job poorly, but we all have to pretend like society will collapse if he isn't there to advocate for cutting social security and medicare while doing nothing to combat unemployment. The vote was, however, a stunning rebuke. He only was confirmed by a 40 vote majority, the smallest ever for a Fed Chairman. That must be a tremendous blow to his ego. We at These Bastards wish him luck at completely not seeing the next crisis.

In 3-2 Vote, SEC Requires Companies To Disclose Climate Risks To Investors
For the first time ever corporations are going to have to divulge to their shareholders the risks posed by their policies and actions to the climate and the risks of climate change and laws to prevent climate change will have on their business/hubbahubbahubbamoneymoneymoney. While this sounds all well and good, I'm sure the reports will just say what most companies have been saying for years about climate change "It's a hoax, everything's fine, do not look behind the curtain." But props to the SEC for making companies pretend to care about science and stuff by tying it to money.

Superfast Bullet Trains Are Finally Coming to the U.S.
Good news everyone! Now your Europeans friends eyes will no longer bug out of their heads when you tell them how long a train ride in this country takes. No longer will you have to explain how it's quicker to walk. Now they can only look down at us for our inadequate social safety nets, our terrible health care system, and lack of architectural period arches on our money. But, starting in Florida and California, our moribund commuter rail is getting a high speed bullet train kick in the ass.

Defense Analysts Blast Military Exemption to Spending Freeze
It seems that there are these weird creatures in Washington that the Washington Independent has tracked down and interviews... and hopefully tagged for future study. It seems these silly and unserious people don't believe that wars and defense infrastructure are free! Furthermore they believe that this kind of spending counts as spending! Not only that, but they think that the defense budget should be subject to the spending freeze/strategic cuts that every other department is, just because it happens to be the one most rife with fraud, waste, pork, bloat, blork, fraste, and what is generally called a "wide and varied scheme to piss away billions." Thankfully they have been pointed out and named publicly so we can sterilize them.. lest they never breed and spread their filthy ideas about defense appropriations again.

Karzai Sees Taliban Pact as Central to Ending War
Hamid Karzai doesn't want to rain on your parade, but you know Afghan police and military forces? The ones we've been training, arming, and equipping for like eight goddamn years? Well apparently we won't be done training, equipping, and arming them for another 4-5... or 10....or 15 years, if you want Hamid to be really honest about it. Why is it going to take that long? Because apparently there's something about the space/time continuum in Afghanistan where instead of training taking a few months, like it does in America, training takes close to two decades. It has something to to with quantum physics. Just in case you thought we were going to be out of there any time soon.. nope. Your grandkids' grandkids are going to be fighting over there.

Thanks for all the help, Ben

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is up for confirmation again as our nation's chief money overlord and coin czar. So, in the face of high unemployment, a Fed that is viewed as completely uncaring as to the suffering of actual people/subservient to Wall Street/an unthinking cash spigot to the financial sectors that shitted our economy/completely abdicated it's oversight capabilities, and the fact that Jim DeMint, Jim Bunning, and Bernie Sanders have all placed holds on his confirmation, Benny is probably going to try real hard to show that he cares and fight for his job, right? Not exactly.

In testimony before the Senate Banking Committee today, where he's seeking re-appointment as the Fed's chairman, Bernanke called for cutbacks in Medicare and Social Security even as unemployment rises and the middle class is endangered.

And there was this, on efforts to create a stimulus that targeted jobs and employment.

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke on Thursday threw cold water on efforts to push a major new fiscal stimulus package.

Well, it's not like it's in the Fed's mission statement to "promote effectively the goals of maximum employment" or anything.

So let's see, in his bid to get reconfirmed he not only advocated for cutting Social Security and Medicare, but decried a second stimulus to address the whole employment problem our jobless recovery is having, all while the Fed isn't really living up to it's mandate to deal with unemployment, is freaking out over a non-existent inflation threat, is a non-existent regulatory authority, and is a money funnel to our financial betters. Is there anything else he's like to do? Perhaps sodomize all of our mothers while pouring sugar in our gas tanks? Maybe I'm naive, I just thought he'd maybe try to do something other than yell "Fuck you peasant, don't look me in the eye" before advocating the Fed's "go pound sand" posture towards America's jobless masses.

Thanks for all the help, Ben. I'd be nice if we had a Fed Chairman that had a better plan for unemployment than "do nothing", but I guess I was just hoping against hope. Luckily, this will probably cost him a less than unanimous confirmation. He'll probably only get 90 votes now.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 08.25

The Baucus White Paper: The Plan
To be mad at Max Baucus for the way he has been handling the Finance Committee's health care negotiations is one thing. But if you really want to get mad at him, and I mean blindingly, white hot seeing red mad, just go back and read his white paper from November of last year for his own plans for health care reform. Employer mandates, a strong Heath Insurance Exchange, and a strong public insurance option. In short, a plan that is not only more liberal than any of the bills under consideration, but one that is considerably more liberal (and more helpful) than anything he's even allowing his own committee to consider. Boo this man.

CIA Bio Says 9/11 Mastermind’s Days in N.C. ‘Helped Propel Him to Terrorism
According to CIA reports, it seems that time that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed spent in school in North Carolina sent him on the path towards terrorism by proving to him that "the United States was a debauched and racist country". All I can say is thank God he didn't go to school in South Carolina otherwise those planes might have had nukes on them. Not that he would have had much of a chance at survival in SC. The treacherous mountain of Afghanistan are one thing, but the Appalachians are another.

GOP Tees Up Medicare Manifesto
The GOP is starting up it's campaign to vigorously defend Medicare and Medicaid from any tampering from nefarious Democrats. It's nice that heir contribution to health care is going to be to gin up another fake issue that isn't happening and vow valiantly to defend it from invisible menace. Though it is nice to see Republicans swear their allegiance to a government run single payer health care system like Medicare. If only that massive bit of hypocrisy could be used in some way.

Obama nominates Ben Bernanke for a second Fed term
Ahh, Ben Bernanke is awarded his rightful place and our Eternal Money Overlord. Why? Because I guess he cuts checks to the financial sector better than anyone else. It's certainly not for his predictive power or a magic ability to lower interest rates below zero. It's good to know that everyone thinks he's the right man for the job. Why? Because he has the job. And really, that's all we need to know about him or his many varied secretive actions that incur little oversight.

Hospitals May Face Severe Disruption in Swine Flu’s U.S. Return
Oh sure you thought Porcine AIDS was dead. That's just what the nasty little pig virus wanted you to think. Now it's just lying in wait and according to the President's Council of Advisers on Science and Technology (fresh from their eight year exile at bible camp) infect half the US population within the next year. That's right: THE APOCALYPSE IS BACK ON!!!!! The only question is if it will take the form of the much discussed the Stand scenario, or have new movies like the Book of Eli and the Road presaged our impending post-apocalyptic wandering doom?

What every American should be made to learn about the IG Torture Report
Glenn Greenwald compiles an interesting list of torture tidbits from the IG Torture Report that you should be exited to learn was done in your name. This ought to give you a nice base of outrage for the impending sham investigations of lower level grunts that Eric Holder and the Justice Department are about to undertake.