Obama up big in early voting

FiveThirtyEight has Obama leading big, very big, in early voting states. While cautioning everyone that the early voting numbers are subject to statistical vagaries like any other subgroup, they did say this:

Nevertheless, Obama is leading by an average of 23 points among early voters in these five states, states which went to George W. Bush by an average of 6.5 points in 2004.

Our bank of These Bastards Statisticianarian Experts informs us that this lead would not have occurred without Obama's conquering of the X-Box realm and subsequent enslavement of its easily swayed, cheeto-filled populace.

Added happy note: The Minnesota Senate race between Al Franken and Norman Bertram Freemason Coleman is now listed in the "tilting Dem" category.

Obama is XboxLive overlord

From Ben Smith at Politico comes Obama's foray into video game advertising. Apparently when you raise enough money, you just start spending it on anything. Props for finally meshing giant robots and Obama into an effective voting message. Early reports have the McCain camp responding by sending around painted mules into contested areas with "Vote McCain consarnit" painted onto one side and "What are you looking at" on the other. Following behind are two midgets dressed as Reagan and Teddy Roosevelt, picking up mule waste and dumping it into a festively painted trashcan with McCain's picture on it. He's giving a double thumbs up.

Bailout explodes into fiery hellstorm of failure

Evel McCainievel's stunt didn't work. Line up some buses for him to jump!

John McCain's valiant efforts to put aside politics by parachuting into the negotiations to offer his rapidly changing opinions to people who had been working on it for the last 10 days without word one from him, were dashed on the rocks of evil partisanship. It seems focusing the entire Presidential campaign on delicate and tenuous negotiations actually results in more gamesmanship and political posturing, not less. Who would've known? Not John McCain, that's who.

It seems that instead of hammering out the nooks and crannies of what was largely agreed upon by all sides (more taxpayer help, protections, oversight, CEO restrictions, and using installments, not a guaranteed $700 billion), a large group House Republicans wanted to introduce and entirely new framework 15 minutes before the meeting and work off of that. According to CBS News, their plan involves fewer regulations and more corporate tax breaks. McCain evidently tacitly supports this plan as shown by his mumbling and corner sitting during the big meeting he called for. Where were these House Republicans for the past week and a half and why couldn't they bother to muster up their plan before, I don't know the last possible minute? Well, stupid ideas get laughed out at the beginning, especially when their the same ones you always want to do (less regs and taxes). But if you recklessly throw them in at the last possible second then they have to be taken seriously, even if they exacerbate the problem by compounding what already went wrong. Seriously, less regulation? You guys are precious.

So buck up, apparently this isn't a serious crisis requiring immediate attention. I mean if it were serious, McCain and House Republicans wouldn't be dicking around the negotiations, playing chicken and *gasp* politics with the thing they all said would cause the New Great Depression by early next week. So come on House Republicans, dust off all your old shit. Make the bailout contingent on ending estate taxes, flag burning, abortion, and having Reagan's face put on Mt. Rushmore. Johnny needs to shore up his conservative base.

Barrywatch

In an attempt to blunt the McCain speech, as if there might be the need to blunt what will likely be a mediocre speech given to one/fourth the audience of the DNC, Barack Obama is going to hold his nose and jump into the bottom of the barrel that exists at the bottom of another barrel. He's going on the O'Reilly Factor.

There Bill can grill Barack about the important issues America wonders about each night: stuff Bill Ayers did when Barack Was eight, if Barack is a super fundamentalist Muslim or a moderate one, loofah or falafel, whether Daily Kos is worse than the Klan or the Nazis, and why he wouldn't vote for a war hero like McCain and whether that makes him un-American. Lest Keith Olbermann punch a wall in anger, Barry is hitting MSNBC on Monday.