Are you sure this didn't happen in America?

Today in News You Had To Read Twice Because You Were Certain It Happened In America, But Nope, It Was Australia news:

In May 2009, Ian Jolly, 57, was attempting to dine at the Thai Spice restaurant in Adelaide, when he was refused entry after staff misheard his female companion, and thought his "guide dog" was a "gay dog."

"The staff genuinely believed that Nudge was an ordinary pet dog which had been desexed to become a gay dog," the owners said in a statement to South Australia's Equal Opportunity Tribunal.

Maybe I'm just one of those permissive gay dog enablers who tolerates the wanton sinning of homosexual animals, but what is it about a gay dog that makes it different from a straight dog in terms of wanting it in a restaurant? Doesn't the wait staff know that the gay dog would probably tip better? But hey, that explanation from the owners sure cleared it all up.

I just wish Australia would take the steps we take when dealing with gay dogs: let them appear on our television programs, but not allow them to sniff out bombs or drugs as an official US Government employee.

Picture of the day w/ bonus animation

via Wired Science and the European Space Agency’s Envisat satellite comes this look at the icy demolition derby that happened in February between the 60 mile long B-9B iceberg (named after famed Icelandic explorer Horst B-9B Jr.) as it crashed into a protruding area of the Mertz glacier.

The result? A glacier that doesn't protrude quite so much any more and a new 50-mile-by-25-mile iceberg creatively named C-28. Because it floats in the "C" and is the 28th glacier to break off from the quadrant of Antarctica nearest to the criminal prison island of Australia.

In other news, science does have an explanation for this kind of repeated large scale event, but a energy lobby claims this glacier just did it for the money and an invite to Al Gore's Oscar party. So I guess there's no definitive answer as long as this debate rages.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 12.22

COP15: Climate 'scepticism' and questions about sex
Richard Black of the BBC takes a look at why those who are skeptical to downright hostile towards the notion of climate change are almost entirely men. He goes on to wonder why, if the opposition to climate change is such a rigorous and scientific deconstruction of flawed science, why Sarah Palin is the only woman who seems to have signed on. I'm sure it's because she's the only woman smart enough to realize what a hoax it all is. That must be it.

How to Slow Climate Change for Just $15 Billion
A look at how one of the most dangerous and destructive forms of carbon, black carbon, effects temperature and ice levels and how a simple investment in moving developing countries away from using open fires towards using clean stoves would dramatically slow climate change. On the other hand you do lose that "smokehouse" meat flavor that everyone loves, so I can see why no one is really eager to do this.

Uninsured and Dying Because of It
The Urban Institute decides to be dicks and interrupt all of our bitching about what was conceded and compromised in the health care debate to point out the terrible consequences (lower quality of life, increased morbidity and mortality, and higher financial burdens) of not having health insurance in this country. Way to ruin our pity party. Don't you know your dirty facts have no place in a health care debate?

Insurgents Hack U.S. Drones
Want to know how much it costs to hack the feed from a US Predator drone? $26 bucks. That's all it takes for Iranian backed Iraqi insurgents to attempt to subvert America's endless freedom mission. I know what you're saying: "We're still in Iraq?" Well, apparently we are and our military might can be derailed by one Jackson, one Lincoln, and one Dr. Wooden Teeth. Good to know that for all the billions we spend on these weapons systems, that insurgents might have to go to the trouble of borrowing five bucks from a buddy to beat them.

Titanic iceberg headed for Australia
I don't want to alarm any reader of this site who is a big fan of Aussie rules football, but you should be making peace with the fact that the sport you know and love will soon be deader than Dillinger. Also: everyone in Australia. Precious "scientists" might not agree with me, but that's the only end scenario I can envision when a rogue iceberg almost twice the size of Manhattan breaks off of Antarctica and careens towards a nation of criminals. I know what you're thinking: "Isn't this the only disaster idea that Roland Emmerich didn't put into 2012?" The answer is no, he also didn't have the moon crash into the earth. But maybe these two incidents can form the basis for a sequel.

Fed's approach to regulation left banks exposed to crisis
The Washington Post goes out of it's way to really take Ben Bernanke to the woodshed over his stewardship of the Fed both before, during, and after the global financial apocalypse. According to them, he's terrible at his job and couldn't foresee his nose in front of his face. But rest easy; sure he might have failed at the one part of his job he seems interested in and doesn't seem to give a shit about the "getting employment up" half of the Fed's job, but he'll still be reconfirmed to his position by an almost overwhelming margin. I know you were worried about that. Don't be.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 11.18

Renouncing Islamism: To the brink and back again
The Independent recounts an epic story of several British Islamist jihadists who were trained in Afghanistan to fight against the West, but have since had a change of heart and are now trying to speak out about why they believed what they believed and have begun outreach work with other Islamic youth. That all sounds like a misprint. If we've learned anything over the past few days, its that once someone has come into contact with Islam, we must not allow them to come within contact of our judicial and legal system and preferably not even our soil. Shunning them plus a few bombing runs on their own country is the only way to beat back this menace.

In House, Many Spoke With One Voice: Lobbyists’
What? You mean to tell me that intellectual titans and honest brokers like Blaine Luetkemeyer of Missouri and the "You Lie" jackass are having their health care speeches and public statements crafted by lobbyists opposed to health care reform? And that they aren't the only ones? It's almost as if they aren't concerned with the plight of Americans without health care and are instead only looking out for corporations and their donations. The international community still has the nerve to say we're only 19th in corruption? I just hope the lobbyists write them some extra good "freedom is dead" material for when health care reform does pass.

Cost of happiness discovered by Australian economist
Yes, a man has spent the time calculating the monetary equivalent of various milestones in life and the effect of money on happiness. For instance: a marriage makes a woman feel as if she has gained the equivalent of £8, 726.25, while it makes a man feel like he has gained the equivalent of £17, 675.68. Dr. Sean and I have conducted our own study in conjunction with the These Bastards Institute of Scientific Discovery and we have found that the cost of happiness is equal to that of the cost of the cheapest alcohol with the highest percentage of alcohol by volume and the cheapest hooker within walking distance. Take that, Australia.

Celebrating Revolution With Roots in a Rumor
A story that recounts the events that sparked the Czech revolution, and how it turns out that some of those events that inspired a nation to march and overthrow it's communist overlords was based on a lie. That's all well and good and even a little funny, but don't you think the honest thing to do would be to turn the country back over to the Politburo with a written apology? To continue on as is just strikes me as dishonest.

Civilian Supercomputer Shatters Nuke Simulator’s Speed Record
For the first time ever a civilian supercomputer, the Jaguar, is the fastest supercomputer in the world. It's speed is 1.759 petaflops or 1,759 trillion calculations per second. What is a petaflop? Well, it's sort of like a gigabyte, but it's bigger and likes to touch children in their bathing suit areas. As this computer is 69% faster than the previous record holder and twice as fast as the 3rd fastest supercomputer, it is now the frontrunner to lead the machine intelligence against its human oppressors that house it in the Oak Ridge National Laboratory. Forget Skynet, Jaguar is our new master.

Picture of the Day

Via Wired Science comes this satellite image of the 2,700 mile wide (that's the size of the US) "apocalyptic dust storm" that turned Australia into....

...this, via the Big Picture blog. Sydney as Mars.

Promotion of the day

Footy club sorry for KKK promotion

The Torquay Tigers became embroiled in a racism scandal yesterday, after images of the white supremacist group were used as part of a photo montage to promote the event on the club's website.
...
Mr McMahon stressed the "All White Night" theme of the function related to the dress code and had no racial overtones, although he conceded people were now "obviously going to read other things into it". He insisted the club was not racist: "One person's mistake is not a reflection of our club.
...
"The latest Ku Klux Klan scandal comes after Fremantle this month denied claims by its assistant coach, Steve Malaxos, that players had dressed in Klan gear and raided each others homes as a prank.

Gee, now I'm slightly more impressed that the Penguins were able to pull off their Game 5 Whiteout without using the phrases "All Whites", "Whites Only", "No Darks", photos that reference a couple hundred years of racism/murder/intimidation, or reference an anecdote where Evgeni Malkin dressed as a Grand Wizard and ransacked Sidney Crosby's house. Who knew it was so difficult?

I don't have as high hopes for their Game 3 combo brownout and "German National Socialist Movement Appreciation Night", that one has fiasco written all over it. Word to the wise amateur sporting promoters: think twice before you decide to put that photo of a racist organization in your promotion. Or just think. Thinking would probably head most of this stuff off.