I would like to purchse one

How can any of us say we're living in a country that truly respects its second amendment unless we can all buy these:


Now they say that this Rocket Propelled Chainsaw is for zombie killing and ruling a post-apocalyptic world, but who needs the dead to rise to have this weapon. Surely it can be used to take care of unruly tree branches without use of a ladder, child rearing, or *pounds fist into palm* regulating shit in the neighborhood.

Can we really say we live in the 21st century if our chainsaws remain un-rocket propelled? I think not. Someone from Lockheed, Stihl, or Baretta get on this.

The greatest throw rug ever

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, left, presents a carpet to his visiting Venezuelan counterpart Hugo Chavez, right, woven with their images, during an inauguration of a joint commercial bank, in Tehran, Iran, Friday, April 3, 2009. (AP Photo/ISNA, Mona Hoobehfekr)

I know you all wanted a crushed velvet painting of Castro posting up on Mao in a game of pick-up basketball, but you'll have to make due with Chavez and Ahmadinejad in loving embrace in front of some clouds. No word on whether this was just a bizarre gift between two men smitten with their shared hatred of George W. Bush, or if this was just a prototype for a production line of Hugo & Mahmoud items to be followed by a Saturday morning cartoon show.

American monarchy: on schedule

Caroline Kennedy: Clinton Senate Replacement?

After a week of coy courtship and low-key feelers, Kennedy began working the phones in earnest Monday -- and signed up major Democratic fixer Josh Isay, who has deep connections to New York powerhouses Sen. Charles Schumer, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and the Rev. Al Sharpton...

Kennedy Reaches Out To Clinton Directly

Caroline Kennedy has called Hillary Clinton to discuss her interest in the New York Senator's seat, a source close to Clinton tells the Huffington Post.
...
Nevertheless, Kennedy's outreach to Clinton, who is leaving her seat to become Secretary of State, is another chapter in what is quickly becoming a fairly comprehensive public and private campaign for the Senate post.

We've dodged a bullet people. Someone who might have been not a Kennedy or perhaps not even famous or related to someone famous isn't going to become Senator of New York. Everyone loves a dynasty, especially when it involves no political career, never running for anything, and swooping in on a vacated seat based on the premise of "She's one of the non drugged out and drunk ones....right? I'm cool with that. What's she for again? It doesn't matter I guess. Kennedy is all I need to know."

Sigh of relief time people. The Bush dynasty might be dead, but the Kennedy's are back in it! Now we can focus on the important business: what Kennedy will replace Ted Kennedy? Can we make an allowance for Ben Affleck? CAMELOT!