One (1) Tiny Icelandic horse

We've heard of some outrageous excesses from celebrities and the demands they make on tour riders. From certain colors of M&M's being removed from bowls to demands on eye contact. But none are as outrageous as the demands made by current banjoneer and sometimes comedian Steve Martin, as his tour rider demands were leaked.... on SteveMartin.com ..... by Steve Martin.

Hey, if the promoters aren't following these demands, they probably skimped on security, safety, or some other important area. Sometimes a man needs to drink mead through a commercial grade bendy straw.

We're theoretically allowed to have a functioning government again

You may have read how last week Senator Richard Shelby of Alabama placed a blanket hold on the confirmation of nominees for 70 governmental positions over the honorable principles that Alabama might not be getting all the military pork it is entitled to and a conspiracy theory that Obama was biased against Alabama. It was essentially an unprecedentedly crooked ransom demand and one that had the added benefit of attempting to damage the running of government by causing further delays to confirming people to many of the top governmental positions that are still unfilled. But then again, the all important state of Alabama needs that sweet, sweet defense money.

But, following near universal scorn and hatred directed his way, Shelby decided to relent and rescind 67 of the holds and to theoretically allow the country to be functionally run as if it were an actual superpower.

Sen. Richard Shelby (R-AL) has dropped all but a handful of the 70-plus holds he placed on President Obama's nominees last week. Shelby's office told TPMDC today that the goal of the blanket holds had succeeded three days after it was reported and roundly attacked by Democrats and the White House.

"The purpose of placing numerous holds was to get the White House's attention was to get the White House's attention on two issues that are critical to our national security," Shelby spokesperson Jonathan Graffeo said in a statement, referring to two programs that would sent billions in taxpayer funds to Alabama.

The issues critical to national security: building expensive shit in Alabama. He is, of course, still holding three hostages, the Assistant Secretary of the Air Force for Installations, Environment, and Logistics, the Principal Deputy Under Secretary of Defense for Acquisition and Technology, and the Under Secretary of the Air Force, until those nominees of the White House promises to acquiesce to his demands that very expensive airplanes are made in Mobile.

This was just your daily reminder that we, as a nation, are governed by adults. Remember to act real surprised when this country collapses on itself.