Oh Liberal Media, when will you learn?

There's ThinkProgress, out there doing it again today. They've gone and taken a set of statements made by the racist spawn of Karl Marx and Beelzebub, Sonia Sotomayor, and gone and compared it to things Sam Alito said during his confirmation hearing. Whereas Sotomayor is the world's greatest racist/monster when she says her ethnic background and upbringing inform her judicial decisions, Sam Alito is a salt of the earth working class hero when he brings up his ethnic background and how it informs his decisions.

ALITO: Senator, I tried to in my opening statement, I tried to provide a little picture of who I am as a human being and how my background and my experiences have shaped me and brought me to this point. … And that’s why I went into that in my opening statement. Because when a case comes before me involving, let’s say, someone who is an immigrant — and we get an awful lot of immigration cases and naturalization cases — I can’t help but think of my own ancestors, because it wasn’t that long ago when they were in that position. [...]

And that goes down the line. When I get a case about discrimination, I have to think about people in my own family who suffered discrimination because of their ethnic background or because of religion or because of gender. And I do take that into account.

Now the more ill informed of you might say "Doesn't that make him as big a racist as Luftwaffe Reichsmarschall Sonia Goebbels or at least show that both of them aren't racist?" First things first: Alito made those statements while in the possession of a penis (which he prominently displays in a jar on his desk), white skin, Italian heritage, and nomination from a Republican; Sotomayor didn't. Secondly: Alito's schooling at Princeton and Yale Law and his tenure on the 3rd circuit were the product of hard work and achievement, Sotomayor's schooling at Princeton and Yale Law and tenure on the 2nd circuit were the result of affirmative action, racism, and ancient voodoo rituals. Thirdly: I don't have to say a third thing, didn't you listen to the first two reasons?

Clear enough yet? Thank me later for explaining it to you, Liberal Media. I don't want to have to do this again during the next SCOTUS confirmation.

Sarah Palin figured out why she lost

Human Events has done us all the favor of delving into the fertile labyrinth that is the mind of America's dumb rural aunt, Sarah Palin. When asked to explain what John McCain most smelled like what was the biggest selecting Palin mistake selecting Palin that selecting Palin the campaign selecting Palin made selecting Palin, Sarah decided to swing for the fences after mindwiping every interview she did from her brain. 

PALIN: The biggest mistake made was that I could have called more shots on this: the opportunities that were not seized to speak to more Americans via media. I was not allowed to do very many interviews, and the interviews that I did were not necessarily those I would have chosen. But I was so thankful to have the opportunity to run with John McCain that I was not going to argue with the strategy decisions that some of his people were making regarding the media contacts.

But if I would have been in charge, I would have wanted to speak to more reporters because that’s how you get your message out to the electorate.

You and the Obama camp both, sister. Your continually inept interviews caused so many Americans to hock puke up into their mouths that it was the only thing keeping them from tasking the full flavor of the boiled shoe leather they were forced to eat because the economy collapsed. You are the woman perpetually baffled by the question "Could you be a little more specific." You got steamrolled by Katie Couric and were all but hidden from the press corps. You should never be allowed to talk to anyone unless they are so sycophantic as to completely protect and answer questions for you (Human Events FTW~!). The only thing more destructive than your interviews was the selection of you by Crazy Uncle Walnuts.

Be 2012 already, I need to see what kind of campaign she runs for President.

The punchline of this joke is that he's a major party candidate for the Presidency of the United States

"In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations."

How is this man not panhandling for change on some street corner?

I think Government scientists removed his ability to hear what he's saying and his entire concept of self-realization. He doesn't seem to have policies or beliefs, just a series of belligerent reactions. Someone help Tootles here find his marbles, I'm beginning to feel sorry for him.