Jesus was too

The National Black Republican Association, all four of them, started running these ads this week. In some attempt to.......uh....get black people to vote against the black guy? Waste money? Someone should have told the Republican party back in the sixties that MLK was one of them. Some didn't get the message.

Still dead Republican Jesse "Little Shoes" Helms:

"Dr. (Martin Luther) King's outfit ... is heavily laden at the top with leaders of proven records of communism, socialism and sex perversion, as well as other curious behavior." He called the Civil Rights Act of 1964 "the single most dangerous piece of legislation ever introduced in the Congress."

Wikipedia succeeds where reality fails

From Wikipedia, after Jesse Helms died. It was removed after it was, disappointingly, found to be untrue.

Death

He died on July 4, 2008, slitting his wrists in a washtub out back beneath the pecan tree and writing "I've been a bad boy" in his own blood. The skins of several children were found drying in his attic, swarms of horseflies going in and out of the eaves. His wife was quoted on CNN as saying "I always wondered about Jesse's collection of little shoes."^[14]

Oh, universe, you shouldn't have!

Really, universe, you've done too much. I was content to spend the birthday I share with this fading republic in a traditional manner: start drinking at 9 am, eggs benedict off a prostitute's stomach around 11:00, incite my first race riot at noon, sharpen machete, urinate on the Ron Paul headquarters down the street from my new apartment, and greet the evening by strolling from rooftop to rooftop, idly chucking sticks of dynamite into the streets while firing an automatic rifle randomly into the air. Because, hey, who's going to notice?

I don't ask for much on my birthday, apart from a good, old-fashioned day of celebration befitting mine and our nation's similar sociopathic tendencies. I am a simple man with simple tastes.

But then you went and gave me this...



Former Republican N.C. Sen. Jesse Helms dead at 86

I'll admit, I'm getting a little weepy here, universe. You're just too much.

And for fun, a few of Sen. Helms' greatest hits.