Your time spent resting on your stellar reputation is over, Thurgood!

The hearings for Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan are underway. You know the drill: in order to be allowed onto the highest court in the land, the nominee vows to remain as silent as possible, dodge any question that may in fact reveal a personal thought or long held position, and attempt to set a Guinness world record for saying the phrase "I don't answer hypotheticals, Senator." You know, it's the way a serious country full of adults and intelligent elected officials selects a slot on its most august judicial body.

Then there's the dance our elected betters put on. Kagan's supporters on the Democratic side spend their time telling us how she's the most qualified nominee in the history of judges and law, that merely asking her a negatively toned question is likely to make God weep, and that any opposition to putting her immediately on the Supreme Court is rooted in the blackest evil, the foulest magic, and darkest blood rituals.

On the other hand, the GOP concocts scenarios in which her activist judicial fiats will split the earth in two in a literal orgy of flag burning illegal Mexican immigrants performing mandatory abortions on the Children of God, and how it is entirely conceivable that the President has nominated a dangerous mental defective and terrorist sleeper agent who, the second she gets on the bench, will strap C4 to herself and make for the Constitution.

You know how it is. It pretty much went by that book yesterday. But there was an unexpected addendum to yesterday's proceeding. Apparently going after Kagan was not enough, so the GOP decided to set their sights on another ACTIVIST JUDGE: Thurgood Marshall, who is apparently a massive shitbag.

Looks like Senate Judiciary Republicans have at least one unified talking point today: Justice Thurgood Marshall, the first African-American to ever serve on the Supreme Court, was an "activist judge." As Elena Kagan kept on her listening face, multiple senators slammed both Marshall's judicial philosophy and her service as his clerk in the late 1980s.
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In an example of how much the GOP focused on Marshall, his name came up 35 times. President Obama's name was mentioned just 14 times today.

Ranking member Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) said Kagan's reverence for Marshall "tells us much about the nominee," and he meant that more as an indictment than a compliment.

The Washington Post says the Republicans even went so far as to pass out opposition research on Justice Marshall. Thurgood Marshall! You know, the guy who argued Brown v. The Board of Education, worked tirelessly on civil rights, and worked to fix institutional barriers of racial discrimination. That Thurgood Marshall. He was apparently a massively activist asshole. So, of course, the GOP spent an entire day trying to tear him down, discredit him, and attack him in order to knock Kagan's time spent as a law clerk for Marshall. One of the most accomplished, important justice and lawyer in US legal history. I'm not sure they even asked Kagan a question.

But there is one question we do need the answer to: would current GOP Senators vote to confirm Thurgood Marshall to the Supreme Court?

Sen. Orrin Hatch, like many Republicans these days, is arguing that Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan’s hero, Thurgood Marshall, was an activist judge and that raises questions about Kagan’s judicial philosophy.
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I caught up with Hatch after today’s confirmation hearing to ask an obvious question: Would Hatch have voted for Marshall?

“Well, its hard to say,” Hatch said.

Jesus Christ.

/throws up hands, walks away

Broken In Brief: Former astronaut angry over NASA’s “most dangerous mission” space shuttle talk

CAPE CANAVERAL—Today famed astronaut and second man on the moon, Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin, launched a formal complaint over NASA’s repeated use of the phrase “most dangerous mission” to describe the efforts of the Atlantis shuttle to repair and upgrade the Hubble telescope.

“Are these people shitting me?” a distraught Aldrin was heard to yell during his demonstration outside Launch Complex 39 of the Kennedy Space Center. “They have the stones to tell me that a lens replacement is more dangerous than what I did? I went into low-Earth orbits wearing a glorified scuba suit inside a washing machine designed by honest-to-God Nazis. Hell, my goddamn cell phone has more computing power than every Apollo mission combined. Seriously, the balls on these people...”

“They even have a separate shuttle fueled up and ready to launch in case something goes wrong,” the American hero continued as he pitched rocks at the front door of the complex. “You know what the rescue plan was for Apollo 13? A fancy tombstone, that's what. Want to know want what backup procedures and safety tests we had? A monkey going around in a centrifuge. Once. Replacing a lens is dangerous? Tell that to Alan Shepard. For his first Mercury mission they tied him to a rocket with twine, gave him a belt of scotch, and told him to hold his breath.”

“Most dangerous? Someone come out here and fight me!” screamed the aeronautics pioneer and former senator as authorities attempted to talk him down from atop the fiberglass replica of Apollo 12 that sits in front of the facility. Neil Armstrong was unwilling to offer comment, as he was busy scouring the nearby Merritt Island National Wildlife Refuge for "anyone else who wants to tell me I walked across a fucking sound stage and not the moon."

Spokesmen for NASA were quick to point out the marketing aspects of the phrase, as well as the need to prompt interest in space flight as enthusiasm for off-planet exploration wanes. They said they hoped to be able to speak with Aldrin, in an attempt to comprehend what it was like when NASA spoke to the highest ideals in the human spirit instead of low orbit fix-it jobs, ferrying scientists into the clutches of stranded Russians suffering from space madness, and ushering in the robot apocalypse.

Hudson Crash audio

CBS has got a hold of the black box audio recording of the pilots who safely landed the plane in the Hudson. Right now so many people are trying to listen to it that it kind of crashed the audio player they have, so I've decided to provide a partial transcript.

Pilot 1: Alright tower, we're in the air.
Pilot 2: You're going to want to look out for that huge flock of geese over there, maybe pull up a little.
Pilot 1: Shut the fuck up Johnson, shit like that is why you're a co-pilot and not a pilot.
Pilot 2: But sir, the engines...
Pilot 1: 'But sir'. You sound like a fucking woman. These are jet engines. JET ROCKET FUCKING ENGINES! I'll tear these birds up. Who can fly now, animal kingdom? FUCK THESE GEESE! FUCK THESE GEESE! FUCK THESE GEESE!
Pilot 2: Engine 2 is out and it's also on fire.

Now from right before the water landing.

Pilot 2: Don't you think we should get this plane over to LaGuardia for an emergency landing? It's very close, I think we can make it.
Pilot 1: Johnson, I swear to God if you don't give me all the money in your wallet I will smash this plane into a building!
Pilot 2: What the hell is wrong with you?
Pilot 1: Your mother is half Pakistani, they'll just assume you overpowered me on orders from bin Laden. They'll never suspect me, I'm a white man! Your money! NOW!
Pilot 2: Here you fucking lunatic, now try and make it over to LaGuardia.
Pilot 1: Fuck that shit, it's hero time! WAAAAAAAAAATER LAAAAAAANDING! Put on your hip waders Johnson and call my press agent, it's time for a dip.

The audio cuts out after that. Truly a heroic moment.