Monday, October 20, 2008

Black guy endorses black guy for blackness related reasons

Well it happened. Colin Powell went out this weekend and endorsed Barack Obama. In citing why he liked Obama, he gave the standard list of why everyone likes Obama: style, substance, and his bility to inspire. He knocked McCain for the reasons people knock McCain: the negative tone, dirty politics, avoidance of issues, and the Palin pick. Of course, all the intelligent conservative pundits saw through that, they saw right to the heart of this endorsement. The remembered Colin Powell was black, looked up on Wikipedia that Obama may indeed be black, and put two and two together: Powell endorsed Obama because they're both black! 2 + 2 = black.

Immediately Rush Limbaugh, Pat Buchanan, George Will, and Dan Billings fired off e-mails and gave interviews alerting the American populace to this chain of events. More intelligent people would have tried to attack Powell's credibility based on his tenure in the Bush Administration. But to Rush and the like we are in yet another grand year of the glorious freedom experiment in Iraq, so that's out. So they did the next best thing, kicked open the front door, strode out onto the porch and yelled "The Negroes is congregatin' and endorsifyin'!" Because I guess Colin Powell and other black figures aren't allowed to deviate from the standard line of pasty white guys they've endorsed since time immemorial.

So, word to the wise black folks. Endorsing a person of the same race is kinda racist, unless you are white. I think it has something to do with the equinox or the Magna Carta. If I understand it correctly, the only way to move race relations forward is for the black community to rally around the old, white guy. For the 44th time in a row. To prove to us you aren't voting based on race. We promise to return the favor the next time a black guy runs. Honest.

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