Climategate officially gets the gate removed

What if I were to tell you that the whole Climategate controversy and furor that "disproved" "global warming", in fact did no such thing. Sure, most people who take the time to look at these things knew that already. I meant in an official "government inquiry" sense. And not by our shitty government either, but by the UK Parliament where they seem to take things like facts and investigations somewhat more seriously. I know, I know, noted climate scientist Dr. Sarah Palin said Climategate proved that science doesn't exist or something, but she's busy in a Twitter feud with LL Cool J over the dishonesty of her new FOX News TV show.

So I guess that mean we can officially put "Climategate" in sarcastic quotes. Done and done.

The House of Commons' Science and Technology Committee said Wednesday that they'd seen no evidence to support charges that the University of East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit or its director, Phil Jones, had tampered with data or perverted the peer review process to exaggerate the threat of global warming – two of the most serious criticisms levied against the climatologist and his colleagues.

In their report, the committee said that, as far as it was able to ascertain, "the scientific reputation of Professor Jones and CRU remains intact," adding that nothing in the more than 1,000 stolen e-mails, or the controversy kicked up by their publication, challenged scientific consensus that "global warming is happening and that it is induced by human activity."
...
In a briefing to journalists ahead of the report's release, Willis said the controversy would ultimately help buttress the case for global warming by forcing the University of East Anglia – and other research institutions – to stop hoarding their data.

"The winner in the end will be climate science itself," he said.

Sorry Mr. Willis, climate science will never win against skeptics unless climate science invents some sort of laser wielding robot with a chainsaw hand that is able to force people to consider the merits of reason, evidence, and fact. For that is science's inherent contradiction: it cannot teach those who are unwilling to learn... unless giant robots are involved.

Plus how do you combat the immense feelings of pride dumb Americans feel by proclaiming that they know better than scientists with their fancy PhD's and that they're just using "common sense", something that fatty fat fat fat Al Gore oughtta try sometime? You can't, especially when there's an entire political party, media establishment, and industry committed to making people think that they're smart for ignoring smart people.

Sure, smart talking Brits can say stuff like "There was no evidence to challenge the "scientific consensus" that global warming is induced by human activities", "The balance of evidence "patently" failed to support the view that the phrases "trick" and "hide the decline" used by Jones in one email were part of a conspiracy to hide evidence that did not support his view", and "On peer review, "the evidence we have seen does not suggest that Jones was trying to subvert the peer review process"", but who is going to listen? The people who aren't listening to science already?

Sorry science, you lose again. Even when you actually win. Perhaps there's an equation you can work up to explain how that happens. Maybe it'll make you feel better.

Bale goddamn vindicated

Seems the Bale mother/sister assault thing is much ado about nothing. He yelled and screamed and might not have even touched them, they insulted his wife and demanded hundreds of thousands of dollars. Charges will probably be dropped.

Of course the charges will be dropped, the goddamn Batman doesn't have to respond nicely to veiled extortion threats from estranged family members. Bale is reportedly building a giant vault where he will swim in his money like his hero, goddamn Scrooge McDuck.

Vindication for Mosley!!!!

Mosley wins court case over orgy

British court ruled today the UK's News of the World breached World Motorsport boss Max Mosley's privacy to the tune of £60,000 in damages and £850,000 in court costs over claims that an S&M orgy he took part in had Nazi overtones. So congrats Max, you aren't a guy who has S&M bondage orgies with five hookers that have overtly fascist overtones, you're a guy who has S&M bondage orgies with five hookers that have overtly fascist undertones. VINDICATION!

He told the court that the publicity had been "totally devastating" for his wife of 48 years, and he could think of "nothing more undignified or humiliating" for his two sons to experience.

Well not unless they want to pay five hookers for the privilege of being humiliated like their old man.

News of the World editor Colin Myler said the paper was pleased at the lack of punitive damages, but added that "our press is less free today after another judgement based on privacy laws emanating from Europe".

Yes the important role of the press to root out freaky sexual proclivities of mildly famous people will be forever damaged. Once proud reporters will have to go from panty sniffing and paying hookers to talk to doing something seedy like rooting out government corruption or covering human rights. Truly a damaging day. I can see the toll it could take on your website: "Which one of our nude models looks best?", "Cristiano scores with two beauties", "Boxer's boys turned room into sex den" and "The truth about my lesbian sex tape" are just some of the important stories we'll miss out on because your inability to get facts straight on sensational tabloid crap made the press less free. I'll have to find a way to live without "Dubai romper wife swap" and "Royal thigh stress" in this new fascistic press world.

DAMN YOU COURTS, DON"T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID? THEY MIGHT HAVE TO CHECK AND MAKE SURE THESE ARE ACCURATE NOW!!!