The teabaggers have a notion

Over the last year the tea party movement has a supportive boon to the GOP. Not in any sort of "legislative victory" or "marshaling public support" kind of way, but by mobilizing 4% of the country to support corporate interests in the name of Liberty, Freedom, and No Black Socialists, they've been able to make it look like their policies aren't as unpopular as they are. Plus it's been a positive boon to the long fading snakes on flags industry, which must be a considerable boon to the Gadsden estate.

But the teabaggers have also provided lots of bad press for the Republican party as well; from their seething low rent racism, to their mispelled signs, to their fundamental inability to understand the basic principles which they're shouting about, to the wealth of comedy and mockery they inspire, to the various creepy militia overtones, the calls for assassinations and intimidation of government officials, and weak secession threats. But throughout all these problems the GOP has stood tight with the Tea Party movement.

So it begs the question: what exactly would it take for the Republicans to look at the teabaggers and go "you've gone too far this time." Turns out the answer is "threaten their aspirations for higher office".

There are signs that tea party calls to repeal the 17th Amendment -- taking the selection of U.S. Senators out of the hands of voters and putting it in the hands of state governments -- are proving to be a bridge too far for Republican candidates desperate to steal some of the movement's mojo.
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The "Repeal The 17th" movement is a vocal part of the overall tea party structure. Supporters of the plan say that ending the public vote for Senators would give the states more power to protect their own interests in Washington (and of course, give all of us "more liberty" in the process.) As their process of "vetting" candidates, some tea party groups have required candidates to weigh in on the idea of repeal in questionnaires. And that's where the trouble starts.

So now we have our answer. Standing toe to toe with people as they rant about socialism and the analysis they've done of our Kenyan interloper's faked birth certificate: sane, normal behavior. Standing toe to toe with people who say that the people shouldn't elect Senators: beyond the pale.

Shame, because that's at least an idea that the teabaggers have. Sure, "Repeal the 17th" is a completely stupid idea and would result in even more corruption and screwing over of the people than the teabaggers think is going on now, but you can at least have that debate. It's at least a policy. "Nancy Pelosi is stealing the Earth's sunshine as part of a socialist conspiracy against nice days" and "Burrackobamuhizamooslumraaargh" isn't.

So c'mon GOP, don't run from the one idea (besides "Uhhhh... taxes... bad") that the teabaggers have had. Maybe this can finally help move our national debate from being wholly consumed with imaginary conspiracies and threats mixed with aggrieved persecution complexes to merely about debating intensely stupid ideas that would never work in a thousand years. It's progress.

He's gonna take our guns!

Gun rights advocates are always in a state of perpetual fear. You would think the copious amounts of firearms they possess would make them feel safe, but somehow that just isn't the case. No, everyone, everywhere, at all times is looking to take their guns, so they must be ever vigilant to make sure that they ram through all sorts of new laws so that there is nowhere where they can't wield or purchase a loaded firearm with minimum background checks or public safety protocols.

When Republicans are in power it's the UN that's going to come in and confiscate everyone's guns in the name of the new world order. When Democrats are in power it's the liberal menace taking guns as a first step to a socialist/fascist overthrow of the American way of life and oh, by the way, didjaknowthat'showHitlerstartedhistakeoverI'mjustsaying. Well now they gun lobby is totally sure that Obama is just mere seconds away from stealing everyone's gun in the name of Karl Marx and steps must be taken to loosen our ultra-loose gun laws in order to prevent that aggression from standing, man. Gun ownership ain't a privilege, it's a right!

When President Obama took office, gun rights advocates sounded the alarm, warning that he intended to strip them of their arms and ammunition.

And yet the opposite is happening. Mr. Obama has been largely silent on the issue while states are engaged in a new and largely successful push for expanded gun rights, even passing measures that have been rejected in the past.
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“The watchword for gun owners is stay ready,” said Wayne LaPierre, chief executive of the National Rifle Association. “We have had some successes, but we know that the first chance Obama gets, he will pounce on us.”

In Virginia you can now carry a concealed weapon into bars and restaurants that serve alcohol, while they repealed the state's "one gun a month" purchase law and rejected a law that called for background checks for purchases at gun shows.... and this is after the Virginia Tech shootings. Arizona and Wyoming are considering letting people carry concealed firearms without a permit. Montana and Tennessee passed laws that got the damn gubbmint and their federal laws out of regulatin' their in-state arms and ammo sales. This in addition to federal laws passed last year that allow people to finally wield loaded guns on trains and in national parks.

And yet the black helicopters on the horizon and the national gun confiscation squads have yet to materialize. Guns are not yet outlawed so outlaws aren't the only ones with guns. Oh, but it's coming, the NRA swears it. So if you don't mind giving them a donation or two or three or dozen, they'll be able to stave off the complete repeal of the second amendment that would happen the second the stop being eternally vigilant and the second Obama thinks no one is watching. You know, even though he doesn't seem eager to pass or sign any new gun laws except ones that broaden the scope of places where you can purchase or carry loaded weapons.

America must never be burdened with the cumbersome load of background checks at gunshows or an inability to buy a Jeep mounted .50 cal machine gun. Be afraid, buy more guns. Before they (which is now plausibly the blacks) take them. The gun ban is coming, it's always coming.

New United States

Don't like the fact that you live in a city with actual people in it and that legislative priorities you favor that benefit those areas with people in it are typically thwarted or largely mangled by lawmakers from states that don't have people in them? You know, like when the Senate health care bill was negotiated by the Gang of Six that represented 2.75% of the nation's population?

One man agrees with you: Neil Freeman. As such, he's devised a simple solution to fix the over-representation of small states and under-representation of large states in elections and legislative matters: redraw all the states!

click to embiggen

Each new state contains about 5,617,000 people, preserves the electoral college system which we seem to like for some reason, redistricts states and power like congressional districts, and let's us keep that 50 number we all like.

The negatives are we lose all those state names and barriers we like so much, "some county names are duplicated in new states", and new state laws will have to be drafted.

See: simple. I personally would love to live in a state called Allegheny (FUCK WILLIAM PENN AND HIS WOODS!), Okefenokee, or The Delta. But I also realize this is like looking at a map of Narnia and wishing you were BFF with Mr. Tumnus. I'll stop fantasizing about ways in which this country might work better and get back to the criplling reality of what actually is.

Seriously, two Dakotas?

Cheap Blogging Crutch 09.11

Sarah Palin Ebay Dinner Offered -- With Disclaimers
I know times are tough, but if you happen to have $25,000 sitting around in a bank account somewhere, or perhaps in non0sequential bills in a burlap sack with a dollar sign on it, you can afford the privilege of dinner with Sarah Palin. You and 4 friends will get to eat dinner with Wasilla's own Brad and Angelina: Sarah and Todd. Now she does reserve the right to refuse a winning bid, so you will have to maintain your lies about admiring her intellect up until the very end. So give her money, she's broke and doesn't have a job now.

Ohio Cheetah Clocks In At 36 MPH
Not content to let Usain Bolt get all that "fastest this" and "fastest that" hype for running 100 meters in 9.58 seconds, the good people at the Cincinnati Zoo went out and got a cheetah to run a 100 meter dash in 6 seconds. What does that mean? That in an international competition a cheetah would run down and devour the world's fastest man somewhere around the 50 meter mark, possibly sooner. This is good information to know.

Museum Scours World For New Videos Of 9/11 Attacks
How do you get people to a museum commemorating the deadliest terrorist attack in US history? New camera angles!!! And they need your help. So if you're sitting on any unseen footage of the towers falling or the plane's impact, send it in, they need it to "tell the story." Here let me help: planes crash, buildings fall, people die, country flushes mind, morals, laws, and money down large toilet in an as yet unsuccessful campaign of revenge and justice. It's not a great story, but that's why we need to dress it up with different camera angles.

9/11 as a Lesson, Not a Memory
A nice reminder from the Washington Post that no matter how important people think an event is, schoolchildren who don't remember it or didn't live through it will always find the learning of said event to be an unbelievably boring dirge that is being unfairly foisted upon them. I think the best part is kids complaining about the length of the learning packet on flight plans and US/Afghan relations.

Pawlenty: It's "A Viable Option" To Invoke State Sovereignty, Keep Minnesota Out of Health Care Reform
Hey Minnesota, you elected this jerkoff, as well as his jerkoff counterpart Bachmann, and almost re-elected that jerkoff Coleman, so I guess you deserve to go through this. Invoking the 10th amendment to make sure citizens don't get access to cheaper health care, that's a good one. What's funny is that he's supposed to represent the "rational" and "moderate" factions of the Republican party and use that reputation as a springboard for his 2012 Presidential aspirations. Oh well, I guess he'll have to settle for signing his own political death warrant instead.