Broken In Brief: Sonia Sotomayor implicated in Nazi War Crimes

WASHINGTON--In a shocking turn of events, Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor was accused of crimes against humanity after Fox News revealed evidence that she had overseen atrocities at the Ravensbruek Nazi concentration camp during the final years of World War II.

This revelation comes as a serious blow to the Obama Administration, which had hoped to appoint Sotomayor as Justice David Souter's replacement, making her the first Latina female to ever sit on the nation's highest court. Sotomayor's inspiring story of rising from a single-parent family in a south Bronx project, through an Ivy League education, and onto the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit is now tarnished by her apparent involvement in arguably the greatest humanitarian atrocity of the last century.

When asked how Sotomayor could have possibly had any involvement in the crimes at Ravensbrueck, given that she was born five years after the camp's opening and therefore probably not capable of overseeing such atrocities, FOX News spokesperson Marissa Florentine assured reporters that although the tips had been provided "on background" and had been attributed anonymously, the network was confident the sources were "as reliable as any of those we have ever referenced in our ongoing mission to report and let you decide. Mr. Gingrich wouldn't steer us down a wrong path."

As of this hour those within the Obama Administration are unsure if the nomination will be rescinded. According to one source close to the President, the administration was "prepared for the revelation that she was in fact a woman, but this Nazi thing is really causing us to reassess our selection." Those close to the GOP leadership say many of the House and Senate leaders were "giggling uproariously" over the reaction and were debating on how best to reveal their upcoming accusation that Sotomayor had personally ferried across the border every single illegal immigrant currently in the United States.

Glenn Beck is coming for your children

Yes, I understand that book publishing is a business. Yes, I understand that Glenn Beck has a following amongst certain crypto-fascist Morlock factions. And yes, I understand that saying the following might well be a career-limiting act...

But seriously, fuck you, Simon & Schuster:

Today Simon & Schuster announced "a global multi-book, multi-imprint co-publishing agreement" with conservative personality Glenn Beck--a book deal that will put the television host's literary efforts on YA bookshelves, audiobook collections, e-readers, and children's libraries.

Possible titles include Our First Black Hitler, Taxation = Immolation and Dumber Than I Look: How to Get Paid Ungodly Sums of Money to Act Like a Home Shopping Network Host While Soft-Peddling Pseudo-Libertarianism Wrapped in The Flag.

Profiles in Class: Michelle Malkin

Showcasing both her renowned sensitivity and a thorough understanding of world history, Michelle Malkin hammed it up yesterday alongside another creative heavyweight at a Colorado Republican rally. You really have to hand it to these people. They may be politically and ideologically bankrupt, but damn if they can't get clever with the swastikas.


I'm suddenly inspired to get my picture taken next to Mike Huckabee while holding a sign featuring this image. It'd be half as insulting but twice as funny. I bet the sign would just have to say something like "Jesus rocks" or "Fuck the Mexicans."

h/t FireDogLake

Vindication for Mosley!!!!

Mosley wins court case over orgy

British court ruled today the UK's News of the World breached World Motorsport boss Max Mosley's privacy to the tune of £60,000 in damages and £850,000 in court costs over claims that an S&M orgy he took part in had Nazi overtones. So congrats Max, you aren't a guy who has S&M bondage orgies with five hookers that have overtly fascist overtones, you're a guy who has S&M bondage orgies with five hookers that have overtly fascist undertones. VINDICATION!

He told the court that the publicity had been "totally devastating" for his wife of 48 years, and he could think of "nothing more undignified or humiliating" for his two sons to experience.

Well not unless they want to pay five hookers for the privilege of being humiliated like their old man.

News of the World editor Colin Myler said the paper was pleased at the lack of punitive damages, but added that "our press is less free today after another judgement based on privacy laws emanating from Europe".

Yes the important role of the press to root out freaky sexual proclivities of mildly famous people will be forever damaged. Once proud reporters will have to go from panty sniffing and paying hookers to talk to doing something seedy like rooting out government corruption or covering human rights. Truly a damaging day. I can see the toll it could take on your website: "Which one of our nude models looks best?", "Cristiano scores with two beauties", "Boxer's boys turned room into sex den" and "The truth about my lesbian sex tape" are just some of the important stories we'll miss out on because your inability to get facts straight on sensational tabloid crap made the press less free. I'll have to find a way to live without "Dubai romper wife swap" and "Royal thigh stress" in this new fascistic press world.

DAMN YOU COURTS, DON"T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID? THEY MIGHT HAVE TO CHECK AND MAKE SURE THESE ARE ACCURATE NOW!!!